Being an Asshole

[spoonitnow]

When I get behind a school bus, I like to shoot the kids getting off the bus a bird and make them get all worked up and pissed off.

I like to cuss a lot around little kids, hoping that one day some parent has to hear, "Mommy, what's a cocksucker?"

What kind of asshole stuff do you guys do?

[philly and the phanatics]

pushing my friends into strangers when we are walking through places

[WeaselT]

I like to yell at bicyclers who like to ride on the side of the road, instead of the BIKE PATH right next to the road. sometimes get right up behind them and lay on the horn in my car. gives me a laff but fuck those spandex wearing grape smugglers who think they are above a sidewalk or bike path. pretty sure its asshole move tho..

[Hawk]

I like to cuss a lot around little kids, hoping that one day some parent has to hear, "Mommy, what's a cocksucker?"

I have a friend who is a Kindergarten teacher. A couple years ago a kid in her class asked what "man-juice" was. I still lol when reminded of this.

[aka_red]

i constantly lie to people.

[kmind]

I like to yell at bicyclers who like to ride on the side of the road, instead of the BIKE PATH right next to the road. sometimes get right up behind them and lay on the horn in my car. gives me a laff but fuck those spandex wearing grape smugglers who think they are above a sidewalk or bike path. pretty sure its asshole move tho..

I do this and have had 3 bikers turn around and chase me.

I lie a lot too...to friends .

I have sex in other people's beds/couches without telling them. I'm not sure if that qualifies.

I used to be a pretty big asshole in high school but have toned it down a bit.

[Monty3038]

Ok, mine is pretty much something I should probably be arrested for. When someone is an asshole driver, cuts me off, flips me off, something, especially if older, smaller, or female, I get in the lane behind them and follow them for a few turns, until they become alarmed and then turn off. I've many times followed someone to their driveway and cussed them out from the road. Pretty much a road rage thing... I think it's pretty much illegal.

[Illfavor]

Ok, mine is pretty much something I should probably be arrested for. When someone is an asshole driver, cuts me off, flips me off, something, especially if older, smaller, or female, I get in the lane behind them and follow them for a few turns, until they become alarmed and then turn off. I've many times followed someone to their driveway and cussed them out from the road. Pretty much a road rage thing... I think it's pretty much illegal.

<3 this

[Donachello]

<3 this

+100000
I lol'd so hard

[aka_red]

Sweet

[UG]

I drive 8-10mph over the speed limit, always, and if you ride my ass...I...........drive..............slower. Absolutely NOT in the fast lane, though, on highways I get my ass over if you want to get by.

Also if you do something stupid while driving I will not just toot my horn a little bit, I'll actually lay on the motherfucker and try to make eye contact with you while lipping/saying "YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID" so you know you are fucking stupid.

[d0zer]

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...

[Micro2Macro]

I drive 8-10mph over the speed limit, always, and if you ride my ass...I...........drive..............slower. Absolutely NOT in the fast lane, though, on highways I get my ass over if you want to get by.

Also if you do something stupid while driving I will not just toot my horn a little bit, I'll actually lay on the motherfucker and try to make eye contact with you while lipping/saying "YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID" so you know you are fucking stupid.

fuck yeah! and here I thought I was the only one doing this

[!Luck]

At a house party this girl was fighting with what was obviously her boyfriend. Few minutes the girl and I are dancing and it gets raunchy. This continues for a good part of the night. Later on she says something like "thiis fun, but I just wanted to make my BF jealous". Right before I leave, i see her straddling her bf on one of those big recline chairs. So I slap her ass...............

He wasn't too happy.....

[kiwiMark]

csb

[Micro2Macro]

Later on she says something like "thiis fun, but I just wanted to make my BF jealous".

god chicks like that are fucking wack

[dranger7070]

Your line should have been, "if you really wanted to make him jealous you should probably gag on my dick right here." Or something to that extent.

It's something I try not to do personally (but admit it, sometimes it happens) but cockblocking is probably the biggest asshole move in the history of mankind.

[Hawk]

I drive 8-10mph over the speed limit, always, and if you ride my ass...I...........drive..............slower. Absolutely NOT in the fast lane, though, on highways I get my ass over if you want to get by.

Also if you do something stupid while driving I will not just toot my horn a little bit, I'll actually lay on the motherfucker and try to make eye contact with you while lipping/saying "YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID" so you know you are fucking stupid.

This is me, except I don't really consider it an asshole thing to do. Its the proper response to the asshole on your ass (lol where else is an asshole gonna be? yuk yuk yuk)

[supa]

Splitting lanes on a really loud motorcycle scaring the crap outta unsuspecting motorists while my wife on the back kicks off the mirrors of anyone who merges to close.

[Monty3038]

Splitting lanes on a really loud motorcycle scaring the crap outta unsuspecting motorists while my wife on the back kicks off the mirrors of anyone who merges to close.

I've almost killed two of the 'star boyz' in our area when they did this, because they weren't seen when changing lanes. One on one wheel and one trying to catch the others who exited the highway... really a risky move. I rode for years and never tried this shit.

[Keith]

When I get behind a school bus, I like to shoot the kids getting off the bus and make them get all worked up and pissed off.


What kind of asshole stuff do you guys do?

fyp

[BennyLaRue]

When I make a sandwich for someone, I don't cut the crusts off, even if I know they don't like crusts.

[wufwugy]

My entire kingdom for the ability to be a cunt to people...

[boost]

As I've gotten older, I've pretty much abandoned all road rage. I really never get mad at people on the road and just kinda chuckle when someone rages at me. So much wasted energy.

However, back in my "I'm invincible" days, I loved to brake check people. Essentially a brake check is employed when someone is riding your ass and you just do a quick harsh pump of your brakes then mash the gas. Following the brake pump with flooring it makes it really unlikely that they actually hit you, but it forces them to SLAM on the brakes. The "best" outcome of this was a big chevy or ford panel van.. the look of pure panic on the guys face and then the van damn near spun out at high speed.

I still find the story funny, but ffs.. I was a little asshole!

[philly and the phanatics]

at tennis matches i like to rustle around in my seat, or sometimes cough ...you should see everyones faces its priceless

[sah_24]

YouTube - Denis Leary - Asshole (Dirty Version)

[philly and the phanatics]

also pissed in a cup and topped it off with foam from a keg and got some random little kid to chug it rofl...

.also rolled a joint of like blunt guts and pubes and put a little weed near the mouth piece so if anyoen looekd itd be green and let someone else spark it/pass it around until i started dying laughing....

i pissed on the mouthpiece of our school water fountain...

i used to spit in peoples drinks when they werent looking just to fuck with them...

i woudl throw trash at random people walking down the street

kinda the same as the last one but me and my friends would do drive by eggings (exactly like it sounds, you drive by people while throwing eggs at them)

i used to answer my phone while i was in the middle of fucking some girlfriend i had (lol hard to believe why we broke up )

list goes on

long story short im going to hell

[StarGrinder]

+1 to the brake pump, but it takes an asshole to ride on your bumper, so does this really make us an asshole for doing it?

[a500lbgorilla]

long story short im going to hell

You am not, which is why some of these people need desperately to get even.

[spoonitnow]

Your not, which is why some of these people need desperately to get even.

knot*

[a500lbgorilla]

gay

[bigred]

On airplanes I'm tired of the jackass in the row behind me who thinks he can stand over our row and push past our row to get off the plane. I've gotten in the habit of throwing an "accidental elbow" to their chest as I "swing" my bag over the shoulder. We both know he was trying to get past me (even though I have right of way) so he can't be too outwardly mad at for me for my "accidental" mashing of his collarbone.

Also, 9/10 times it's an Indian dude. I don't want to sound racist but what is the deal with that?

[StarGrinder]

Meh they're just in a hurry to GTFO the plane before some asshole cries terrorist.

[supa]

On airplanes I'm tired of the jackass in the row behind me who thinks he can stand over our row and push past our row to get off the plane. I've gotten in the habit of throwing an "accidental elbow" to their chest as I "swing" my bag over the shoulder. We both know he was trying to get past me (even though I have right of way) so he can't be too outwardly mad at for me for my "accidental" mashing of his collarbone.

Also, 9/10 times it's an Indian dude. I don't want to sound racist but what is the deal with that?

Infidel!

[donkbee]

I've gotten in the habit of throwing an "accidental elbow" to their chest as I "swing" my bag over the shoulder.

I "accidentally" elbow people all the time in concerts when I'm on the floor and some asshole is trying to push their way in front of me to get closer to the stage. I especially like elbowing girls, they annoy me the most because they think they can squeeze past everyone and get away with it.

[boost]

+1 to the brake pump, but it takes an asshole to ride on your bumper, so does this really make us an asshole for doing it?

I believe that it is a clear moral fallacy that "because they were in the wrong, I can be in the wrong and not be wrong."

[Illfavor]

I just use words.

I'm not sure what the fuck is with people doing unbelievably reckless things with 3,000lb high speed death machines but w/e, natural selection.

[rong]

also pissed in a cup and topped it off with foam from a keg and got some random little kid to chug it rofl...

.also rolled a joint of like blunt guts and pubes and put a little weed near the mouth piece so if anyoen looekd itd be green and let someone else spark it/pass it around until i started dying laughing....

i pissed on the mouthpiece of our school water fountain...

i used to spit in peoples drinks when they werent looking just to fuck with them...

i woudl throw trash at random people walking down the street

kinda the same as the last one but me and my friends would do drive by eggings (exactly like it sounds, you drive by people while throwing eggs at them)

i used to answer my phone while i was in the middle of fucking some girlfriend i had (lol hard to believe why we broke up )

list goes on

long story short im going to hell

We have a winner.

You Sir, are a cunt!

[dranger7070]

Man, y'all are a bunch of assholes.

[Sprayed]

This is the worst fucking thread I've ever seen. Go fuck yourselves.

[spoonitnow]

I answer the phone while boning all the time, idk what the big deal is about that

[Sprayed]

This is the worst fucking thread I've ever seen. Go fuck yourselves.

See what I did there.

[spoonitnow]

See what I did there.

Bam.

[Chelle]

I answer the phone while boning all the time, idk what the big deal is about that

or you text.

[dranger7070]

[ ] good sex

[spoonitnow]

or you text.

or i send pictures

[Keith]

does chelle text back?

[boost]

I just use words.

I'm not sure what the fuck is with people doing unbelievably reckless things with 3,000lb high speed death machines but w/e, natural selection.

ya, pretty much this. Like I said, I was young and thought I was invincible. I no longer have any interest in instigating aggressive behavior while on the road, but that also includes giving people the finger or swearing at them. Its nearly the most -ev choice you can make short of just ramming them with your car. If you think that you're "teaching them a lesson", you're just fooling yourself.

Nowadays if I am going to be an asshole, it is typically when someone comes at me trying to make me the ass of a joke. Most of the time I just play along and welcome the joke and laugh with everyone. But if I'm in the right mood I'll take their attack as a license to give it back to them, and I'll be ruthless. But I'll do it in a calm and collected way, not letting them get a rise out of me.

[UnbelievableJeff]

I get bad road rage. Just today some Polish dude cut me up a roundabout (really bad, if I wasn't on the ball he would've sideswiped me). I beep the horn and flash my lights at him and w/e.

Anyway, turns out we were both going to same shopping centre, so I follow him into the car park and park next to him. He stays in his car but his awful looking fat Polish wife gets out. I just say, keeping my cool as best I can, "your husband is an awful driver", she gives me the finger, and I walk off towards the entrance.

Before I even get to the entrance this Polish guy bolts out of his car after me, bumps into me and goes "hey what the fuck did you say to my wife asshole". I just say "I told her that you are an awful driver and then she gave me the finger, which is a public order offence. You cutting me up is careless driving. That's 2 criminal offences to you and none to me, and I've taken your registration down, so I would suggest you leave".

Only needed one thing from shop, came out about a minute later and their car was gone. Using words to great effect ftw

That said, I really need to stop myself getting road rage...

[kiwiMark]

How are you ever expecting anything but a csb

[aka_red]

which chelles text back?

.

[JL]

wtf is a csb?

[spoonitnow]

errr nm

[spoonitnow]

wtf is a csb?

"cool story bro"

[JL]

"cool story bro"

oh...

ldo

[bjsaust]

I drive 8-10mph over the speed limit, always, and if you ride my ass...I...........drive..............slower.

I used to do this. I once got down to 40k in a 100k zone because they just wouldn't back off and I just kept slowing down. Not anymore now. I rarely get worked up in the car, its pretty pointless when you think about it.


I once was in the wrong in a road rage scenario. Two lane road and he was in the far lane so I turned into the near one, but there were cars parked in his lane and he had to move over and I cut him off when he did. He's on the horn for 30 secs - 1 min or so as we drive down the road till I turned off to the shop I was going to. Just made me think, what did he want? What exactly did he expect all of that honking to achieve? Again, seems pretty pointless.

[kmind]

I used to do this. I once got down to 40k in a 100k zone because they just wouldn't back off and I just kept slowing down. Not anymore now. I rarely get worked up in the car, its pretty pointless when you think about it.


I once was in the wrong in a road rage scenario. Two lane road and he was in the far lane so I turned into the near one, but there were cars parked in his lane and he had to move over and I cut him off when he did. He's on the horn for 30 secs - 1 min or so as we drive down the road till I turned off to the shop I was going to. Just made me think, what did he want? What exactly did he expect all of that honking to achieve? Again, seems pretty pointless.

Yep. I used to tailgate tailgaters to show them what it was like but quickly realized there's no real point. I hate maturing.

[Galapogos]

I get bad road rage. Just today some Polish dude cut me up a roundabout (really bad, if I wasn't on the ball he would've sideswiped me). I beep the horn and flash my lights at him and w/e.

Anyway, turns out we were both going to same shopping centre, so I follow him into the car park and park next to him. He stays in his car but his awful looking fat Polish wife gets out. I just say, keeping my cool as best I can, "your husband is an awful driver", she gives me the finger, and I walk off towards the entrance.

Before I even get to the entrance this Polish guy bolts out of his car after me, bumps into me and goes "hey what the fuck did you say to my wife asshole". I just say "I told her that you are an awful driver and then she gave me the finger, which is a public order offence. You cutting me up is careless driving. That's 2 criminal offences to you and none to me, and I've taken your registration down, so I would suggest you leave".

Only needed one thing from shop, came out about a minute later and their car was gone. Using words to great effect ftw

That said, I really need to stop myself getting road rage...

Pretty sure they didn't leave because they were afraid the cops were going to come screaming into the mall parking lot to arrest them for giving you the finger.

[Galapogos]

I like to shit on other people's lame "asshole" stories.

[spoonitnow]

I took a 22-year-old preacher's daughter's virginity during her period in a hotel room that poker financed.

No, it wasn't Michelle.

[aka_red]

Twisted. I really am surprised that Polish dude and his wife didn't kidnap and beat Dwarfman for his hollow threats.

[boost]

Twisted. I really am surprised that Polish dude and his wife didn't kidnap and beat Dwarfman for his hollow threats.

oh, wait, thats dwarf? Lol, that story just got that much funnier.

[mrhappy333]

I used to take money from the Church contribution box.

I pissed in one of my empty beer bottles at a bar and replaced it with another beer on the bar. hate to be the guy who to a drink from the "warm"beer. LOL

ummm, the list is soooo long. But now I'm older and I try not to be an asshole.

[jyms]

I fucking love when people make smart ass remarks or do something stupid then leave their car to go into the store.

[boost]

I fucking love when people make smart ass remarks or do something stupid then leave their car to go into the store.

ya, def seems pretty -ev.

[CapreNoctum]

When there is a bicyclist on the road and there is a sidewalk literally 3 yards away from them, I slow down and put my hand out the window holding a water bottle like it's the Tour De France. I fuckin hate when people run or cycle on the road when there is a sidewalk available.

[jyms]

Your not allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk, bikes are a vehicle, not a pedestrian. City politicians here are bending over backwards to put bike lanes all over the city and we are losing lanes of road. Particularly in the downtown core.

[swiggidy]

When there is a bicyclist on the road and there is a sidewalk literally 3 yards away from them, I slow down and put my hand out the window holding a water bottle like it's the Tour De France. I fuckin hate when people run or cycle on the road when there is a sidewalk available.

What a horrible 0th post.

THINK OF THE HIPPIES!!

[Galapogos]

Your not allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk, bikes are a vehicle, not a pedestrian. City politicians here are bending over backwards to put bike lanes all over the city and we are losing lanes of road. Particularly in the downtown core.

I was surprised in Toronto how many people ride their bikes on the sidewalks there. In Vancouver you never see that. Mini culture shock.

And whoever that 0 poster is that throws water on bikes that's not an asshole thing that's just a moron thing. Like jyms said, they're doing what they're required to do by law.

[BennyLaRue]

Yeah, that guy is an asshole.

[wufwugy]

man i totally just realized i need to make a new account so i can post forever yet never have any post count since i never go outside the commune anymore

[wufwugy]

and fuck dude my wpp would be like fucken 300 by now before the vbulletin switch

[wufwugy]

i think another post will do for a whole screen of synchronized bouncing titties

[Chelle]

I can't think of a single asshole thing I do. I need to change that.

[Hawk]

you can mess up a run of nice bouncing titties.