$500 mils

[bikes]

Family member who you've never heard of dies and leaves you $500,000,000.

What are the first 15 things you buy?

[a500lbgorilla]

Land. Somewhere with a field, some hills/mountains in the distance, thick forest, generally cold.

I'd build a house and a pond and kiss this world good bye.

I'd need to be within driving distance of an airport, I suppose. So I can drop in on the real world every so often.

Land
House
Pond
Truck
Guns
A Cessna

I can't think of much else.

edit probably some attorneys and financial advisors to handle my estate management stuff, too.

[wufwugy]

Plane tickets to Hawaii, Nevada, New York, Montreal, and Europe

[rong]

a bad ass divorce lawyer is number 1!

[Micro2Macro]

1. New Ferrari
2. Penthouse apartment in Toronto
3. Big house for my parents and grandparents back home
4. A night of insane partying somewhere fun with closest friends, Spain maybe.
5. Personal chef full time
6. Limo with driver that is on call 24/7
7. Butler who doubles as body guard when needed



after I'm satisfied with enough material shit for myself and family etc I'll start my own charity. can't think of 8 more

[spoonitnow]

1. New Ferrari
2. Penthouse apartment in Toronto
3. Big house for my parents and grandparents back home
4. A night of insane partying somewhere fun with closest friends, Spain maybe.
5. Personal chef full time
6. Limo with driver that is on call 24/7
7. Butler who doubles as body guard when needed



after I'm satisfied with enough material shit for myself and family etc I'll start my own charity. can't think of 8 more

You can't think of 8 crazy bitches that you would like to put a hit out on?

[jyms]

1)^^^^ this truck (not me in pic BTW)
2)House north of Toronto on Lake Simcoe
3)M2M has it right with a chef/housekeeper
4)Boat for the Lake
5)New Downtown TO Condo
6)Big Party in Said Condo before buying a ton of nice shit for it
7)Assistant to live at Condo and organize life
8)Personal Driver for my mother
9)Permanent Nanny for 8yr old
10)Complete wardrobe
11)Pilot licencing
12)Full health club facilitly to have some business to pretend to run and somewhere to work out when I want company
13)Definitly would buy a better class of freinds (FTR excluded)

[supa]

1)Bar in downtown Ventura.
2)House on hill above downtown.
3-15)motorcycles, cars, houses for Moms and stuff.

[bikes]

1. house for me
2. house for mum and pa
3. helicopter
4. new audi
5. chef
6. maid
7. charter flight to oslo norway. stopping in toronto.






cant think of anything else atm

[Jack Sawyer]

1) I'd procure long-term accommodations in strategic cities all over the world. Does not have to be a house or an apartment, it can also be a room in a hotel somewhere.
2) Houses for those who need it in the family
3) I'd find my way into Hollywood: I'd buy the rights to make a Chrono Trigger and Xenogears movie, and then proceed to make them (at the very least trilogies of each, of course PG-13, Steven Spielberg's Tin Tin style). No trailers, ever, of any of my movies: only viral campaigns.
4) A VX Rucksack, Large, and a Veyron. VW is selling these at a loss, and a limited run, so it is a very good investment.
5) I'd probably try to buy a majority stake in Outlier Tailored Performance Clothing as well. And perhaps Mission Workshop and/or GORUCK.
6) I'd buy some old place, restore it to put a kickass party in there like once a month, with like a countdown to when the next time will be that the doors are opened.

That's about it.

[WillburForce]

Massive boat. Follow the sun.

[OngBonga]

in no particular order... cocaine, weed, tobacco, king size rizla, champagne, high class bisexual hookers (preferably Japanese), hotel room for weekend, plenty of condoms, room service, taxi... that's the first ten things I'm gonna be paying for... after that I've no idea. I'd prob quickly fuck off to NZ to see friends, make the next choices from a beach with a big fat spliff.

[JKDS]

Buy island + house, close enough to a main island so i can get groceries, tv, electricity etc.

Then id need things to support such an island, like a boat/submarine/scubadiving equipment/etc. Sand castle building tools, tree climbing stuffs, etc.

Then the remaining money goes to me never having to work, funding hobbies, and keeping my family and friends safe, healthy and happy.

Im curious if this is somehow related to the other threads...and is just a game to see who would donate to charity o.o

[Micro2Macro]

You can't think of 8 crazy bitches that you would like to put a hit out on?

I'd like to give as little evidence as possible for when the police are directed to me as a suspect, so I won't comment.

Oh and add a nice cottage + boat to that list. Wasn't really thinking of it at the time since summer is over.

[OngBonga]

I do not believe for one minute I'm the only person amongst an internet community that would purchase cocaine and hookers before land and boats.

[rong]

I'd be taking an army of hookers to a massive boat show. I imagine they would carry the cocaine for me. I would buy a massive yacht right there and then, march onto it with my hooker army and proceed to have a massive party right there.

[OngBonga]

Stop lying Dan, we all know you're married with kids. You might want hookers and cocaine, but you're wife would make sad puppy eyes and you'd look at the kids, and you'd instead be booking a week in Disneyland.

[rong]

Ong, I'd invite you to my cocaine hooker boat party. When you arrived, I'd make 6 hotties talk to you at the entrance, tell you what's going on inside and then tell you to wait for a while before they could let you in. They'd keep coming back every 20 mins to say it won't be long now before you can join us. Then after a couple of hours, we'd just drive away. Maybe I'd let one hotty moon you as we left, maybe.

[OngBonga]

Man if you actually did that I would have so much reluctant respect for you.

[rong]

So a top hooker costs what, 2k per night. If you average 2 per night, that's 1.4 mil pa. assume discounts make it a mil. Say 1 mil pa spending money on booze, drugs, food etc. That's one hell if a 50 yrs.

[OngBonga]

I like how Dan knows how much a high class hooker costs per night.

[rong]

Haven't you googled that Shit? It's fun for fantasy and an alternative to porn. Check out adultwork.

[bikes]

IIRC last high end escort bust had them at 50-100k a night.

[Jack Sawyer]

LOL paying $100k a night for an escort. Not even if I had half a bil in the bank. I can get my own village of escorts, anyway I want them, for that price.

Come to think of it, I would have to add on my list:

7) A self-sustaining private island featuring a harem.

[eugmac]

A good chunk of land which I can cultivate for crops, vegetables, and livestock - enough to be near self-sufficient. Guns and ammo to defend said land.

I wouldn't stop working. I'd be on the field getting my hands dirty even if I have a big team working for me.

Not sure what I'd do with the rest of the money. A small part to invest and save for a rainy day, and whatever is left over can go to charities.

[rong]

I've been thinking more about this. I'd spend 2-3 yrs travelling in Asia and south America, keeping a record of places and people who need help, then start charity projects all over the place which I would then manage to keep me busy and maintain a reason to travel. Obviously I'd buy a few nice houses scattered around the world as well as a few nice cars and sort out family and friends. But the numerous charity projects would give my life purpose, keep me busy and make me feel really good.

[bigred]

I've been thinking more about this. I'd spend 2-3 yrs travelling in Asia and south America, keeping a record of places and people who need help, then start charity projects all over the place which I would then manage to keep me busy and maintain a reason to travel. Obviously I'd buy a few nice houses scattered around the world as well as a few nice cars and sort out family and friends. But the numerous charity projects would give my life purpose, keep me busy and make me feel really good.

You must have a shitload of money

[bigred]

Better idea...let's all buy hot air balloons and galavant along the globe while shipping bourbon drinks!

[wufwugy]

With more thought, I would probably buy connections into HBO and an excellent writing/production staff and do what it takes to create the best zombie show of all time. Would probably also do the same with a fantasy show

[bigred]

Wuf, read my post in new roles thread in ww forum. DO IT

[a500lbgorilla]

Better idea...let's all buy hot air balloons and galavant along the globe while shipping bourbon drinks!

This man is a man I will follow. A man of ideas. A man of vision.

[bigred]

We're gonna put cannons on our air balloon and shoot the other ones!

[a500lbgorilla]

A gentleman firing a cannon from a hot air balloon search on google images came up with nothing. Clearly the world is in need.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Buy a car
Buy a case of champagne & storm into my financial adviser's office with a bottle in hand and have them bring up the case in the lobby. We're all going to do quite well with this.
Buy a couple awesome computer setups
Marry this cute Hawaiian girl to whom I'm engaged
Pay back Dad
Pay student loans
Apply to/pay tuition of a program for a PhD in Engineering
Give wife anything she wants
Offer to pay tuition and bills for any of my friends or family that want to get a degree of their own
Conquer the skies with bigred and gorilla
Extended trip to Vegas with $10k br
...
The rest depends on Vegas. If I really love poker as much as I think I do, then grinding the micros live for a couple of months should tell me whether I can really cut it.

Either buy a house in Vegas or where PhD is.

[wufwugy]

dont wanna be a buzzkill but you dont love poker as much as you think you do

[bigred]

A gentleman firing a cannon from a hot air balloon search on google images came up with nothing. Clearly the world is in need.

We're the villains this world deserves

[bikes]

We're the villains this world deserves

I feel like this experience could only be enhanced a mini giraffe on the balloons.

[bigred]

He fires the cannon

[MadMojoMonkey]

dont wanna be a buzzkill but you dont love poker as much as you think you do

I'm very interested in the motivation for this post.

Would you please explain why this is so clear to you?

[surviva316]

dont wanna be a buzzkill but you dont love poker as much as you think you do

Poker's prolly the most awesome game in the world if you have no shits in the world regarding money. How much poker sucks is in direct correlation with how much the money means to you.

[surviva316]

1) Pay off all of mine and my girls' debts.

2) Give enough to my dad for him to retire and my parents can live out the rest of their lives comfortably (whatever that number is).

3) Spend an equivalent amount on my girl's family at her discretion.

4) A year or two of traveling once my girl finishes up school and gets licensed and all to Spain, West Coast, Australia, among other places.

5) Beyond that, can't imagine I'd need any more than $1M AAV for the rest of my life for me to live very very comfortably, especially assuming we invest well. This would allow us to have plenty of fine dining without a budget, generously hosted parts, lots more travel, etc. I don't think we'd need insane real estate to be happy or anything like that. My girl would probably have some opinions about whether or not we have a place by a beach somewhere or something like that, but it would come out of this budget.

6) I wouldn't simply give the rest away to charity or anything like that, but I would keep a lot of money around to donate as I see fit, start baller-ass businesses/NGOs that do awesome good for this world, donate to schools/etc. that operate in ways that are in line with my political/ethical views, etc. Basically, I have a lot of opinions on what this world should be like, and I'd put my skills and money to the best use for this as I could.

7) It would take a lot of thought (probably wouldn't make any big investments for the first year, just figuring the fuck out what to do) and it'd probably be really stressful and I can almost guarantee I'd be very imperfect in how I go about it, but I think that would be my dream life.

[d0zer]

I would use it to build an even bigger empire with philanthropic goals that will be gradually thrown to the wayside as my lust for power consumes me and turns me into a super-villain.

Then death star I guess.

[wufwugy]

I'm very interested in the motivation for this post.

Would you please explain why this is so clear to you?

I used to play it for a living and since "quitting" still kinda have tried to get back into it many times even though I hate it. It used to be a thing where fish were fish and good players were nits, but because good players think schooling the fish is the right way to go, the fish are now nits and good players are well-balanced elaborate bluffers. You used to be able to find tables with fish just by sitting down, now you're lucky if you're not sitting at a table full of solid pseudo-pros. Five years ago, 1knl was softer than 10nl is today. 100k hands used to be a lot, but now a million is a lot, but by the time you grind that out, you're burned to a crisp and hate your life

It's probably dandy if you live in a country where it's not "illegal" though. But if you're like me, you would froth at the mouth at the idea of every person at the DoJ aka Department of Criminals dying in that much needed grease fire

[wufwugy]

^^ To add: I used to adore poker. I'm not a natural and I worked very, very hard at getting good enough at it to make a very nice living from it. But since the advent of training videos, a handful of rich people got richer, and everybody else had to get much, much better in order to simply keep up with the grind

And I'm really good at poker now, but it's not fun if your only area of exploitation is very marginal, which is what it has since become. It's also the case that micros have become tougher than higher stakes because rake sucking up marginal value, and due to awful bankroll management and crazy burn out, I've had to spend most of my time at micros over the last few years. Which makes me wonder WTF all these other idiots are doing at the micros because it has become a game of "who hates their life the most" when an entire stake simply grinds rakeback for two dollars an hour. I never thought it could ever become that abysmal. But it has

[surviva316]

No money in micros, everyone's solid.

Aside from my misquote of you (which I do in jest), everything you said is really only frustrating if you're trying to make a living off of it. The grind feels much less like the grind if it's just a friendly game of Settlers of Catan or some shit.

To oversimplify things (and to assume that everyone's attitude towards games matches mine), the harder and more complex the game gets, the less awesome it becomes for people whose main objective for playing is to make a living and the more awesome it gets for people who are playing for mental stimulation.

As a (probably unnecessary) example, I played some games of Monopoly with some of my friends this past week who are 10x more competitive with board games than my normal group of friends. It involved trades with installment payments and hush money to make it so that a certain person agreed to not make trades with anyone else and all sorts of bananas shit, whereas with most people I play games with it'd be like, "What? Immunity?! This is getting so complicated!" Since it wasn't for money, it was nerd heaven for me. If I usually made a living off of Monopoly, then I'd be like "wtf, all these peeps be stealin my slice of the pie, this sucks!"

[surviva316]

Also, there's always live poker where everyone is yet to have heard of the internet.

[Micro2Macro]

adding time machine to list

[bikes]

adding time machine to list

add my $500 mil to funding this endeavor

[Micro2Macro]

haha wp

[!Luck]

1) nice house with gourmet kitchen, and gym
2) live in personal chef for every meal
3) live in personal trainer
4) try bobsledding

[boost]

People who want a live in butler, chef, trainer, etc, creep me the fuck out.

[wufwugy]

hey boost i just came into 500mil and ive been wondering....

[Micro2Macro]

Why would you not at least want a chef and trainer? I know my health would improve drastically with such an arrangement.

Now a butler I can agree being spew, but if you have 500 mill what is spew?

[MadMojoMonkey]

Why would you want the people you hire to live with you? Beats me.

I would like a maid and gardener to come by as needed (once a week-ish). A chef is a great idea. I could hire him/her to cook 2 meals a day, 4 days a week and I'd be quite happy. I'd probably become a much better cook by doing so, as well, which would be a bonus.

A trainer would be total spew, because I'd hire them just to make fun of them.

[wufwugy]

I figured out what I'll do with my 500 mils. Buy some bigass random villa on a beach in Hawaii or Greece then haremize these women

[bikes]

mine

[wufwugy]

never heard of her. pretty voice

[supa]

I used to play it for a living and since "quitting" still kinda have tried to get back into it many times even though I hate it. It used to be a thing where fish were fish and good players were nits, but because good players think schooling the fish is the right way to go, the fish are now nits and good players are well-balanced elaborate bluffers. You used to be able to find tables with fish just by sitting down, now you're lucky if you're not sitting at a table full of solid pseudo-pros. Five years ago, 1knl was softer than 10nl is today. 100k hands used to be a lot, but now a million is a lot, but by the time you grind that out, you're burned to a crisp and hate your life

It's probably dandy if you live in a country where it's not "illegal" though. But if you're like me, you would froth at the mouth at the idea of every person at the DoJ aka Department of Criminals dying in that much needed grease fire

Fuck... so I'm gonna sound like a total dick here but I'm mildly drunk and can't leave it alone.This post makes it sound like your a medicore player who couldn't figure out how to beat todays games and you're blaming the internet and the DoJ for making it impossible for you to make a decent winrate. I'm pretty sure there are still players able to exploit todays games and make a living from it.

Do you feel that you are not capable of being as good as them or were you just not willing to put int the work?

This comes from some one who feels he is both not capable to be as good as them and not willing to put the work in btw.

[wufwugy]

Fuck... so I'm gonna sound like a total dick here but I'm mildly drunk and can't leave it alone.This post makes it sound like your a medicore player who couldn't figure out how to beat todays games and you're blaming the internet and the DoJ for making it impossible for you to make a decent winrate. I'm pretty sure there are still players able to exploit todays games and make a living from it.

Do you feel that you are not capable of being as good as them or were you just not willing to put int the work?

This comes from some one who feels he is both not capable to be as good as them and not willing to put the work in btw.

That's fine and it's not like it matters. I do beat today's games and am a solid winner over around 4 million lifetime hands. I've had many problems though over the years that put me into a perpetual cycle of burning out, then obliterating my bankroll with withdrawals, grinding back up from tiny amounts, but then burning out again and starting the cycle over. I'm stuck in a spot where I'm really good at poker, but I dont have a bankroll and dont want to build one, so I don't make money from it anymore

I'm also not a natural, so I've had super long streaks where I'm not sure what my expectation should be. This is very emotionally frustrating and has provoked me to change styles and try new strategies a gazillion times. I remember years ago somebody asked Leatherass if he ever learned something about poker strategy that he later realized wasn't right, and his response was "no." Well my response to that is "you lucky motherfucker" because I've spent thousands of hours requestioning what I think I've learned simply because I'm not coached and variance is an awful control.

Poker was something I once loved before the DoJ stole my money and my games and nearly every recreational player was replaced with people who are either winners themselves, rb pros, or marginal losers. At those kinds of tables, you need a million hands to see where you're really at (and that's probably low balling it)

[surviva316]

Fuck... so I'm gonna sound like a total dick here but I'm mildly drunk and can't leave it alone.This post makes it sound like your a medicore player who couldn't figure out how to beat todays games and you're blaming the internet and the DoJ for making it impossible for you to make a decent winrate. I'm pretty sure there are still players able to exploit todays games and make a living from it.

Do you feel that you are not capable of being as good as them or were you just not willing to put int the work?

This comes from some one who feels he is both not capable to be as good as them and not willing to put the work in btw.

We are completely derailing the thread at this point, but I don't think that complaining about how solid the games have gotten needs to be so taboo to say. Without actually calling out people that I respect a lot by name, let's just say that there are a lot of people whose intelligence, poker understanding, etc. I respect a lot who struggle to make a living off of the game these days.

Of course, you can argue that maybe the 2005 free money give away was understandably a very short window because a get rich by playing a fun card game scheme isn't going to last for ever, but I understand people's frustration. Sure all the people who aren't making a living off of it have leaks, but in other venues (pre-UIGEA, bad euro sites, live games, etc.) players who are very intelligent and know the game very well can afford some emotional foibles or some experimental spew, etc. You didn't always have to be perfect to win.

I think I finally gave into this when I started to read a lot on a poker forum for live players, and within like two weeks there I was like, "You people all know nothing about poker, how do you make any money whatsoever, have you ever even heard of a 3b or a double barrel, I hate you all you boring nits." Basically, when recreational players aren't boxed out of the game, you can be relatively dumb and still make money. I know that live will always be lol compared to online regardless of the laws, but I can't believe that 25nl can be THAT much tougher than 1/2NL under normal circumstances lol. When you're living in a world with the UIGEA, you have to be very smart, study very hard and be very solid/consistent.

I almost feel like I'm like putting my reputation on the line by saying all this stuff because I really think it is semi-taboo to say that the games are tough these days.

[surviva316]

my reputation

Lol @me.

Also, all that being said, I generally assume that Wuf is like 5 notches of expertise below where he says he is. He claims to be professor emirates of economics at Yale, and he's just someone who reads ThinkProgress.com a lot. He claims to be a really really good poker player, and I assume he's a 2005 poker pro who's been able to keep his head above water since then.

[BennyLaRue]

A gentleman firing a cannon from a hot air balloon search on google images came up with nothing. Clearly the world is in need.

Any vampire secretary porn yet?

[Luco]

I would buy:

1/ A lawyer of Johnnie Cochran-esque brilliance (OJ's lawyer)
2/ A rifle

[boost]

I would buy:

1/ A lawyer of Johnnie Cochran-esque brilliance (OJ's lawyer)
2/ A pair of Isotoners
3/ A knife
4/ A white Bronco

fypldo