kickass...i want to be a winner.

Good luck, kick - I know it sucks and the fact we've all been there doesn't make any better for you. Hopefully you can grind it out.

I'll be following along, expecting to see you winning at the two-five nl's soon!!

thanks fo the support. morning tilt is lol dumb but Ima mardy bastard what can I say. Played a bit of 10nl to avoid killing my roll whilst shit aint working....guess what, I lost another couple of BIs..........5nl? lol

lucky to came out only a BI down today...miss-click called an overbet Jam on river with 2nd pair on 5TAKJccc woops then tilting after caused me to jam AK on a 456tt flop. sad face. I actually feel Ive played ok since this downswonging started but not so much today. erggh

have I ever called on the river without the nuts and been good? blegghhh

A few goals for next week. No drinking! No junk food! 5000 hands! Get a session with bikes. Good goalzz

yup looked over them. lmk when you want to session.

[ ] no drinking
[ ] no junk food
[ ] 1.8k played
see above for coaching prolly friday

played a bit fishy today did get to stack a reg AK vs AQ in a 3 bet pot didn't think that happened anymore.

FAIL too sunny; had to drink and BBQ didn't play cards.
life is more important anyhow

so I suck at poker. 5BI in 600 hands is taking the piss. This whole blog thing is pathetic again and Im fucking fed up with it.
I have some serious evaluation of poker to do dunno if I even like it anymore, Im fucking pissed off far to much. Im not gonna play till at least next month the weather is fucking beautiful for the first time in British history so Im gonna enjoy being alive for a while.
gonna stop writing in this op cos I have nothing to say of any value.

Right; England are out of the euros and I really want to get serious about poker again. I'm having a coaching session with bikes tomorrow and have alot to discuss. I feel that these games I'm in are easily beaten but I'm not winning cos I play bad on purpose alot. I'm seriously angry at myself. I've been playing 25nl for fucking ages now and I'm only breaking even maybe even slightly loosing. For fucks sake ravs pathetic nit style beats 25 this shit is really fucking easy. I'm making 1 goal for myself and that is to be at the 50s by the time this blog is a year old. It all starts tomorrow!

a day late but lovely job. i feel really good and I have shit to work on. refreshing. ill be posting some hands to see if im a doing this shit right, hone dem skillz!

Originally Posted by kickass

I feel that these games I'm in are easily beaten

i think you're right

Originally Posted by kickass

For fucks sake ravs pathetic nit style beats 25 this shit is really fucking easy.

this should set you to thinking. How exactly does a 10-8-3 win at a few BB/100 in these games? what does this mean for how you should be approaching these games?

Originally Posted by kickass

I'm making 1 goal for myself and that is to be at the 50s by the time this blog is a year old. It all starts tomorrow!

another goal you could set yourself is to play well. Manage that and you'll be easily rolled for 50nl. Perspective.

Originally Posted by daven

another goal you could set yourself is to play well. Manage that and you'll be easily rolled for 50nl. Perspective.

yeah dead on, I think thats what I mean cos im rolled already if I want it I just dont feel like im playing well enough

also no offence was meant to Rav, hes found an approach that wins, each to there own on style.

im getting pretty fucking close to hanging up my mouse and walking away.

remember when i said today you have to brush it off and keep playing good poker and good things will happen? yeah. you can see the fail thing we did today, it's the 2nd big drop.

lolzzz, after I finished talking to you I thought id have a go at some 6 max but id had a few drinks. im such a dickhead.

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prolly done for the month so... garps. i might get a few hands in tomorrow but prolly not many

6 max is going well I think. volume is lacking somewhat as im only playing 4 tables most of the time. my aggression seems to be falling as ive been playing longer, I really don't know what im scared of; folks have shown a incredible ability to call down with all sorts of shit. cant wait to have a big enough sample to make another coaching session worth while. piece!

back from mah vacationings and joined the gym to finally work on not looking like my old man. first session today went a bit ropy ended a BI down which is no big deal but felt like i played a bit bad.

Originally Posted by kickass

joined the gym to finally work on not looking like my old man.

Play poker instead with your time - you're only delaying the inevitable..

Any targets for the gym, other than avoiding looking like your old man?

Originally Posted by The Bean Counter

Play poker instead with your time - you're only delaying the inevitable..

delaying the inevitable can be +ev (at a minimum)

Lolz my dad is a lazy fat man I'm not gonna be lazy and therefore not fat. I'm gonna stick with being a man tho. No real goals as yet get buff be a sexy bastard.

i dont think i will ever get tilt under any kind of control.
need to rethunk this shit.

Originally Posted by kickass

i dont think i will ever get tilt under any kind of control.

what measures are you taking to do this?

The best non-monetary thing about poker is how it highlights the mental discipline related life leaks we have. That seems to be true of most people anyway, and I guess it's only a great thing if we do something to plug that leak...

truth ^

Originally Posted by rpm

what measures are you taking to do this?

good point, absolutly none.
i havent done anything studywise or been playing very much so its hardly surprising that i play bad. ima move down to regain some confidence and not cost me a bunch getting over this crushed feeling. also rewatch tommy angelos 8 fold path theyre really good, any other advice?

Originally Posted by kickass

also rewatch tommy angelos 8 fold path theyre really good, any other advice?

Implement the things he says.

jared tendler's "mental game of poker" seems a really good resource on the topic from what i've read so far. as is the tommy angelo's material of course

Originally Posted by d0zer

Implement the things he says.

There is that.

had a big ole break where i didnt play a single hand or do anything poker related for family reasons. I played a short session 4 tabling and it was nice to be back but I certainly didnt play well. looking forward to the chaos of trying to beat the .25nls, we shall see.

couldnt find enuf tables at 25 today and nobody would sit down with me so i thought fuck it and mixed in 2 tables of 50. it went okay apart from this mess $0.25/$0.50 No Limit Holdem
PokerStars
6 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG ($58.09) 116bb
UTG+1 ($134.83) 270bb
kick (CO) ($65.80) 132bb
BTN ($52.49) 105bb
SB ($51.35) 103bb
BB ($40.89) 82bb

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 6 players) kick is CO
1 fold, UTG+1 raises to $1.50, kick raises to $4.50, 3 folds, UTG+1 calls $3

Flop: ($9.75, 2 players)
UTG+1 checks, kick bets $6.50, UTG+1 calls $6.50

Turn: ($22.75, 2 players)
UTG+1 checks, kick checks

River: ($22.75, 2 players)
UTG+1 bets $11.50, kick calls $11.50

I got it in my head he OOP floated me on the flop to make moves on shitty turns. ....thats not how ranges work luke. B/F the turn, as played fold the river.
one day ill be good at this shit...today is not that day.

say tuesday wednesday?

Originally Posted by bikes

say tuesday wednesday?

both good for me. thanks man

looks like next month is september and i failed in my mission so FUCK YOU POKER

LOL IMMATURE. ill be back with a new blog next month

i have decided not to start a new blog as i dont see much fucking point.
I think my bank roll could be better spent on my debts and or family. I dont have very much money in real life and giving away hundreds of dollars to shitty regs and fish is degrading to my soul. My wife and kids hate the fact I spend all my time playing poker, studying poker, mindlessly checking poker forums or am at fucking work. I cant create a good working relationship with this game, my job and my family.
I think that poker,for me, is either a distraction from the shittyness of my life of hope that it might one day be better, either way Im not sure its healthy.
I have always been one for the dramatic but on this I think im right, I would be better off if I walked away, my time would be better spent giving more attention to the people that care about me. I really dont know what to do; I fell like when you have AA vs a passive fish just got aggro, its obvious you should give up but you just dont want to.

In Sept '11 you were playing 2NL.
In March '12 you hit a $1k BR.
Not too shabby. I don't remember anyone doing that in a while.

What happened after March '12?

You think "I deserve to win now"?

Too much FPS?

Calling too much?

I hate to see you quit. It's nice to see someone really want to get better through studying, coaching, etc., especially since BF.

Somebody mentioned dropping down and playing ABC. Maybe you could try that. Definitely don't let poker affect family life. Especially if your sessions determine your mood.

When I moved up to 50NL I lost 8 BIs in 3 days.

Originally Posted by kickass

i have decided not to start a new blog as i dont see much fucking point.
I think my bank roll could be better spent on my debts and or family. I dont have very much money in real life and giving away hundreds of dollars to shitty regs and fish is degrading to my soul. My wife and kids hate the fact I spend all my time playing poker, studying poker, mindlessly checking poker forums or am at fucking work. I cant create a good working relationship with this game, my job and my family.
I think that poker,for me, is either a distraction from the shittyness of my life of hope that it might one day be better, either way Im not sure its healthy.
I have always been one for the dramatic but on this I think im right, I would be better off if I walked away, my time would be better spent giving more attention to the people that care about me. I really dont know what to do; I fell like when you have AA vs a passive fish just got aggro, its obvious you should give up but you just dont want to.

regardless of your decision, the above is a great post - it's easy to forget to ask the question of whether or not poker is a net positive in your life. Introspection re the role of poker is really important. If it's not a net positive, then dump it, ez game.

online poker isn't becoming easier.

Originally Posted by Sasquach991

In Sept '11 you were playing 2NL.
In March '12 you hit a $1k BR.
Not too shabby.

nh imo

Originally Posted by Sasquach991

What happened after March '12?

used bankroll to pay for coaching and switched from FR to 6-max?

thanks for the kind words. I really dont know what has gone wrong since march. lol @ the bikes coaching dig tho; I had most of my coaching before I made that first milestone 1k, and have unfortunately ignored the great resource, that is bikes' willingness to help me, since then.
I decided not to withdraw my BR as it really wouldnt make that much difference to my life and it doesnt seem worth all the time and effort ive put in thus far to waste it on boring real life shit. if I somehow drop another 20BI i will prolly take it out and start at 2nl again.
as much as I think finding a new hobby would be greatly beneficial to my life I dont think there is anything I care about enough. I swear to god though if I make 1 more post about quitting Im at least gonna go hide away in shame for a few months.
i do have to fix my real life/poker balance problems, fuck thats a hard one!
stay tuned for more stupid rants about running/playing bad and not alot of that constructive good shit. piece!

Originally Posted by kickass

lol @ the bikes coaching dig tho; I had most of my coaching before I made that first milestone 1k, and have unfortunately ignored the great resource, that is bikes' willingness to help me, since then.

some advice, most definitely take advantage of this. Didn't brett say he would post feedback in hands posted on FTR by his students? post more hands. And, seriously, talk to him about them when you get the chance. Almost any time you spend talking about hands and alternatives with someone who understands poker too is time that is going to show a longer term profit than if you had spent that same time grinding some 10nl. The comment re coaching was in jest, it definitely wasn't supposed to be a genuine dig at bikes' coaching.

Originally Posted by kickass

I decided not to withdraw my BR as it really wouldnt make that much difference to my life and it doesnt seem worth all the time and effort ive put in thus far to waste it on boring real life shit.

what's your roll? is there merit in bringing some of it out and spending the $$ on something your family will/can enjoy? i dunno. Them seeing benefit from poker or something rather than purely the cost of your time being occupied?

Originally Posted by kickass

as much as I think finding a new hobby would be greatly beneficial to my life I dont think there is anything I care about enough.

i do have to fix my real life/poker balance problems, fuck thats a hard one!
stay tuned for more stupid rants about running/playing bad and not alot of that constructive good shit. piece!

how about checking in on FTR once (and only once) per day? or twice - like before a grind, and then after session review (when you could post some hands). But not in and out constantly? Look at posted hands and give your initial thoughts, then think about them for a while offline before going back to the thread to see what other people have posted. How about discussing some scheduling re poker with those close to you? i mean, if you were a beer guzzling darts player you would be out of the house when pursuing your hobby, it's differently for the people around you when you're in their presence but still absent. Hope that makes sense.
Keep thinking.

Originally Posted by daven

... is there merit in bringing some of it out and spending the $$ on something your family will/can enjoy? i dunno. Them seeing benefit from poker or something rather than purely the cost of your time being occupied?...

I did this a couple of years ago. I withdrew about $500 and used it on vacation with the family. Later I withdrew about $200 and gave it to the wife and said "thanks, you earned this". She had told me to stop trying so hard.

BTW, I don't play near as much as I use to. I use to feel like I had to play at least 2 hrs per day. Now I might play 2 hrs every 3 or 4 days. Sometimes I go a week without playing. BF kinda dampered playing for me.

Since BF, I've played on Bodog (now Bovado) and on Carbon. I'm was never going to play fulltime anyway as I have a good day job.

For some reason I enjoy SNGs more than cash games now. I had $11 left on Bovado and tried to lose it. Now I have about $250...all from SNGs. /brag

GL whatever you do.

Originally Posted by kickass

thanks for the kind words. I really dont know what has gone wrong since march. lol @ the bikes coaching dig tho; I had most of my coaching before I made that first milestone 1k, and have unfortunately ignored the great resource, that is bikes' willingness to help me, since then.
I decided not to withdraw my BR as it really wouldnt make that much difference to my life and it doesnt seem worth all the time and effort ive put in thus far to waste it on boring real life shit. if I somehow drop another 20BI i will prolly take it out and start at 2nl again.
as much as I think finding a new hobby would be greatly beneficial to my life I dont think there is anything I care about enough. I swear to god though if I make 1 more post about quitting Im at least gonna go hide away in shame for a few months.
i do have to fix my real life/poker balance problems, fuck thats a hard one!
stay tuned for more stupid rants about running/playing bad and not alot of that constructive good shit. piece!

Your recent posts hit home with me. My family/girlfriend hate it.

But I'm really confused on you quitting as well as playing bad? You're a really good player and have a ton of potential imo. Keep at it.

Originally Posted by kmind

You're a really good player and have a ton of potential imo

i'd like to +1 that

FWIW, i joined up here round about the same time as you, Kick, and i've really been inspired by the way your game's developed.

plus you're an entertaining poster too.

and if u do jack it in, don't forget that the game'll still be here waiting for you - a rest being as good as a change 'n' all that

ahhhh you guys. im all bashful.

Had another sucky day today. Moved down to 10nl and I feel okay about that my roll is not in danger or anything I'm just not happy with my game at all. Better than quitting tho eh. Also got up really early and kept family and shit in order and bought a new (to me) car. Yeah I'm doing alright bitches

What am I missing? Is this shit really that bad just cos America isn't allowing its fish to play! The whole world seems to be made up of bad bad redlly fuckinv bad regs as far as I can see. WHEre de fuck my edge at?

play better than everyone at your table - boom - edge.

Originally Posted by kickass

What am I missing? Is this shit really that bad just cos America isn't allowing its fish to play! The whole world seems to be made up of bad bad redlly fuckinv bad regs as far as I can see. WHEre de fuck my edge at?

Bikes says it all. Cash tables are still soft and there's plenty of winners. Sure, lots of fish disappeared when US online poker got shut down and some regs moved to other countries but none of them play low stakes cash and there's plenty of European/Oceanic/Canadian/South American/Russian/Asian fish left, it's not like poker is dead.

poker is more difficult than it was 3 years ago, but you can still make a lot of money at it if you learn how to beat the "bad regs" (most of whom are fish)