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Time to start over --- Need Advice!
Hello all. I've posted here once since I became a member a couple of months ago, but mainly I've lurked trying to read and learn (as you read this you'll see I haven't done a good job of the latter yet). I've been through all all the beginner forums (including experiencing the newbie circle of death). Read both HOH books and Theory of Poker so far. I love the game...have a great passion to become better, but right now I feel stuck somewhat, so I'm asking for help. Let me start with a little background. I need to confess my sins first to get it off my chest, have some of you tear me a new one, and have a clean slate to start from. I apologize in advance if this is WAY too long but it's important to me to put it all out there.
I actually started playing online only in November 2007. I started playing on FT and proceeded to immediately lose my $50 deposits twice before I decided to look for forums (found this one - THE BEST!) to try and learn more about the game. I bought both HOH books and the Theory Of Poker and read them as well. Well, after this I began playing better and started to make money, then I'd have complete DUMB meltdown days and lose all my BR in one day (playing at higher stakes than I was rolled for of course). I proceeded over the next month to lose another $500 on FT and Carbon Poker. Down $600 so far. Yes, I would make some money and ignore logic and move up to a higher stake and lose everything I had grinded out!! Did this numerous times! How dumb am I, I know!
Ok, so this brings me to mid-January (last month). I decided to give it one more go and bought in on Carbon Poker for the minimum $25 deposit again, well, I played horrible the first day back and went down to $15 in 25NL. Well, instead of just waiting to put more money in I got impatient and basically said to myself (despite reading the great posts here and having already read the HOH books), screw it, and played reckless, well, I ran HOT for one day....went from $15 to $215 in one day. Then over the course of the next 4 days I took that $215 and turned it into $345 playing 100NL (yeh, dumb again I know). Well, I do well in MTT tournies so I bought into a 25BI/80 player tourny and proceeded to win the tournament.....$540 from my $25BI! Great, I'm at $885 now!!! Well, dumb me, after winning that tourny, I'm feeling unbeatable, and I choose to go right into a $5/$10NL 6 max game and put it all at risk......third hand had KK and won a $440 pot! Wow, I quit immediately now with a $1325 BR in one week from $15!!!!!
Well, so starts the newbie COD! Feeling so confident in how I was playing I cashed out $500 thinking I'll make that money back in no time. So, I have $825 BR and I proceed to try and play with the big boys at $2/$4NL 6 max......lose it all in 5 hands.....what started the whole tilt was when I hit a J9d flush, but my opponent hit a Q7d flush (the board was 10d Kd Ad 5s 9c)! Holy crap, I was devestated, what had I done!!!! Well, I quit playing for the day but still tilting the next day I put $300 on FT and lost it all in two days...then $100 on Ultimate Bet...lost it all in two days....then back to Carbon....$100....lost it all in three more days. That leads me to now!
How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I listen to you guys about proper BR management? Do I really suck at this game that bad? Am I the dumbest poker play ever???? I had it made and blew it!
So, here's where my questions start. How do I start this thing over THE RIGHT WAY?! I have a $500 check coming from Carbon Poker. I want to deposit it again and start fresh and new on Vegas Poker 24/7 (I like the site --- been studying it and the play the last few days). I have it already setup and even set it up through RakeTheRake this time to take advantage of the rakeback as well as the 100% initial deposit bonus.
My first priority is, I don't want to play this money without doing things right this time though and I'm DONE trying to play higher stakes to make money back that I've lost. I wrote on a piece of paper to myself 100 times that I won't move up again in stakes until I have at least 20BI's for it.
What I REALLY need is some mentors this time! I need to TRULY learn how to do this right. I do understand poker basics (starting hands, pre-flop play, basic post-flop play, calculating pot odds, trying to learn implied odds and EV, get your money in when you have the best hand, make good folds more than good calls, bet/fold more than check/call, etc.) I don't have hand stats memorized yet, though I'm trying to learn that.
Overall, I do know I still suck and have TONS to learn and perfect, but generally speaking, I think I play fairly decently for a beginner....Until.....I have a bad beat or horrible suck out, then all hell breaks loose, and I have a tendency to tilt BAD, and as of now, I've FINALLY learned this about myself. So, how do I combat this effectively? Am I the only one out there who's been this stupid with their BR? Do I really have potential or am I kidding myself? Should I hang it up for good or should I just take some time off and learn more first before making another deposit? I WANT TO LEARN! I'm learning that I love this game, and I want to become a successful cash game and tournament player both someday.
I'm not familiar with any of the tracking software or any poker software for that matter....have kind of seen it as not necessary yet for me, though I'm sure I'm wrong about that. I've looked at Poker Tracker and it seemed over my head at the moment.
Please gurus...give me advice on where to go from here and how to do this all the RIGHT WAY, this time around. I'll be a sponge and listen to all the advice out there!
Thanks for reading this lengthy diatribe!
-Steve
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