Breaking Point

I've always been a loser but I've never realized it until a few years ago. Never was good with people, and until very late in life I thought the only way to make friends and please people was to do and be everything they wanted us to. I shaped my personality on that of those I wanted to be friends with. I wasn't myself. So I was bullied, beaten, mocked, taken advantage of and such.

Then there were the parental units. Work took them away a lot, and the little time we spent together was them saying constantly I behaved like a lunatic and if I didn't behave properly I was to be commited to an institution. What a great thing to say to a child, right? My whole family, though small, started to see me this way. I was the crazy one, the child that never said anything that made sense, the child who always had to be watched lest he break, stole or severely damaged anything. Well, movin' on...

Let's see...School: Check; Parents/Family: Check; Work - Check my other story "damned if you do..."; That leaves married life.

I don't have to tell you about my love life, use your imagination under these circumstances. I met my future wife and eight years later we got married. Best and fastest day of my entire life. I later found out that my marriage isn't a partnership, but a domination. She's the dominating one, I'm the dominated one.

So at this point I really start thinking like that famous Demotivator poster with the picture of a sinking ship that says «It may be that your goal in life is to serve as a warning to others.». I looked around and realized that no one respected me, people saw me as a child of 5 in a 30 year-old body, the lunatic mad prankster who never took anything seriously and never did anything right. I had one last chance to prove myself to the world: to have children of my own, to make others around me see that I too could make something right, something beautiful. Then the Doctor told me I couldn't have children. I was sterile. No chance in Hell.

Eerrrmmmmm..... get a divorce, move somewhere new, start again.

At least this story is more interesting that the shit-ton of other recent spam.

I'm depressed now. Take up poker it's another great way to get kicked while you down.

If your life sucks, make some positive changes. Really don't have anything else to add... and with that being said, move this shit to the commune and OUT of the poker forum.

Yes, the commune, I'm sure you'll find lots of encouragement and positive feed back there.

Children: other options exist, including adoption. Wife: stop doing whatever she says (in particular stop listening). Parents/school: the past. Future: Get some counselling, post non-poker stuff in the commune.

This is made up rubbish. Don't give it the time of day.

Originally Posted by DanAronG

Yes, the commune, I'm sure you'll find lots of encouragement and positive feed back there.

This. Everyone at the commune has been so good to me.

Everyone has a sob story, it's in your power to make your life worthwhile. I grew up in kids homes and foster homes, got bullied at school for being a "home boy", found it difficult to talk to girls until I was in my twenties, always had shit jobs with no prospects, the list goes on and on. But fuck the past, my life is awesome, I have great friends who suit my personality, rather than me having to pretend to be someone else to be popular.

Stop being a doormat. Grow a pair of bollocks and be yourself. Stop blaming the past for the sorry state of your life. Stand up for yourself, and people will respect you.

It's in your power to make your life worthwhile.

so you can run and tell that, home boy home home hooome boy.

I'm neither a child nor a home boy anymore. If you want to make me cry, then come and steal the paintings on my wall and scratch all my records.

I do appreciate the assumption that I'm such a dick that I was trying to make you cry by making fun of the upbringing you had no control over, but I actually wasn't.

You're not trying to make me cry? Here's me thinking I'm so awesome and important that others simply try to knock me down a peg to boost their own ego. Now I know I'm not that important, I'm crying. Well done, I hope you feel terrible now.

Originally Posted by numisirow

Let's see...School: Check; Parents/Family: Check; Work - Check my other story "damned if you do..."; That leaves married life.

I don't have to tell you about my love life, use your imagination under these circumstances. I met my future wife and eight years later we got married. Best and fastest day of my entire life. I later found out that my marriage isn't a partnership, but a domination. She's the dominating one, I'm the dominated one.

you can NOT let women run the show in a relationship unless you want to get walked all over, and have no say in anything from finances to sex.

Originally Posted by kickass

I'm depressed now. Take up poker it's another great way to get kicked while you down.

if u aren't on some sort of anti-depressant medication you should probably get on that because poker isn't going to be a good time for you

You reap what you sow. That's right, I started post with a ridiculous saying. Your life basically consists mostly of good decisions, bad decisions or lack of decisions (which can also fall under good/bad category, but are presented here to shape your passive behavior in more then one dimension). So you made more bad ones then good ones. Boo hoo. Now, grow some balls, and start making some good decisions. Its really simple as that. As soon as you break all those obstacles that prevent you from making good decisions (like being a crybaby, having no courage, etc). Start by simple things, slapping your wife and saying fuck off to your parents is a great way to break the ice, and is also every mans duty given to him at day of his birth.

Originally Posted by Micro2Macro

if u aren't on some sort of anti-depressant medication you should probably get on that because poker isn't going to be a good time for you

This. Horrible depression issues in my family history. When I was on something I played so much better.






I'm calling my doctor...

Speaking of medicaments, a very few times under severe stress I dared to take a Valium equivalent (anti-anxiety drug, also causes your muscles to relax). Had most tilt-free sessions ever. Didn't experiment enough to see if there is downside to it, but since its muscle relaxant it sometimes makes you sleepy. And shouldn't be used without prescription (especially if u have breathing problems).

My mate snorts valium. Last time I saw him he had blue bogies. I can see how such drugs would stop you tilting, you wouldn't give a fuck if your house was on fire.

Originally Posted by DanAronG

Yes, the commune, I'm sure you'll find lots of encouragement and positive feed back there.

lol'd quite heartily

To OP.

Everyone fucks up, LAWDY KNOWS I HAZ, but man at some point you got to pick yourself up off the ground by your nutsack and do something about it.

think this was somebody ghosting

Going to drugs is a bad idea, including legal shit. You have some deep underlying issues that aren't going to solved by drugs. In the end I think suffering is the best way to go, cause that's the only way you grow. Drugs should be for recreation only.

life begins at 40 or so i was told
if op is only 30 then make the most it was all done hill for me at 40

Originally Posted by !Luck

Going to drugs is a bad idea, including legal shit. You have some deep underlying issues that aren't going to solved by drugs. In the end I think suffering is the best way to go, cause that's the only way you grow. Drugs should be for recreation only.

I'll roll a spliff to that.

Originally Posted by !Luck

Going to drugs is a bad idea, including legal shit. You have some deep underlying issues that aren't going to solved by drugs. In the end I think suffering is the best way to go, cause that's the only way you grow. Drugs should be for recreation only.

illegal drugs are a bad idea for someone with such issues. legal prescription drugs advised by a qualified doctor aren't.

Ya, I'm sure others have done this already but I googled a random sentence from the OP and this exact post showed up on a ridic number of other forums and blogs and stuff.

Still, rather touching, I can't help but wonder if the original post was genuine... but I don't have the time or wherewithal to find out.

/thread imo