The radio hisses, "Roger Alpha Hen, this is squad leader JKDS reporting in. We have the enemy freighter in sight. Red squadron, report in."
"500 pounds of gorilla Red 2 reporting in, sir."
"Uh....uh...is this thing on? Can you guys hear me? This is Boog, Red 3."
"Roger that, Red 3," says JKDS, "we read you loud and clear."
"Oh...ok...good," whimpers Boog, "because someone installed my control panel with Chinese characters. I asked for Korean! I can't read anything!"
"Uh, repeat that Red 3."
"My console, my buttons, all of it," says Boog, "it's all in Chinese. I don't know which button is for fire, which is for thrust..."
"But Red 3," shouts JKDS, "You're supposed to be the primary freight bomber. How the hell did you take off from our hangar, enter light speed, and arrive here without realizing your ENTIRE CONSOLE IS LABELED IN A LANGUAGE YOU CAN'T READ?
"Um, I have an AHK script that controls the ship until I get to our target's destination..."
"You have a...dammit. Regardless of language, Red 3 I command you open fire on that freighter."
"I COMMAND YOU OPEN FIRE ON THE FREIGHTER!"
30 seconds goes by without any signs of attack on the freighter.
"Red 3? Red 3?!?!? Why aren't you....ohhhhh crap," says JKDS as Boog goes floating by in his space suit waving. "That idiot hit the eject button. "Ok, Red 2, engage the freighter and destroy it!"
"Yes sir!" exclaims Rilla. He sets his computer on the target and unloads a huge armada of missiles and lasers. There are tons of explosions and once the space dust clears the target is gone.
"Uh, red 2..."
"Yes, red leader?"
"Why did you use all your weapons on that asteroid passing by?"
"Oooh," says Rilla, "that wasn't the freighter? I get things all mixed up sometimes!"
"God dammit," mutters JKDS, "uh, Alpha Hen. We have a problem."
"Go ahead, red leader," says Command.
"Red 3 ejected himself and Red 2 blew up an asteroid instead of the freighter. We're all out of weapons."
"Red leader, please use your space craft to carry out the mission yourself"
JKDS' face turns red. "Uh, that's a negative, Alpha Hen. I uh, being an officer and all, had all the weapons removed to make room for my officer's frappucino machine."
"You did what?" says Command, "hold on..." JKDS hears a few voices muttering in the background.
"They what....ejected...asteroid...frappucino...idiots.. .uh, Red Leader. Please report back to base for debriefing...idiots."
Mission was a failure
There were 2 success votes and 1 failure vote