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I didnt have class til 2pm on friday, so me and my buddy went to some bar that had 1$ pbr pints. I got shitfaced and barely made it to class, I got a lot of sleep but just was foggy. I wanted to just come home and sleep cuz I needed some rest. Same freind is like "yo, [lesbian from our class] is having people over, lets go." Im like, "uh yah.. never been to a lesbian party, sounds interesting." Some people from school are there, I go on a liqour run cuz they are all little kids. I spot a lone 4 pack of duvel, it was delicious. People are leaving so my freind is like "yo lets go to this bar to meet my freinds." The place is right by my house, so I decide to go and then walk home after a drink. This super alcoholic tags along who has a habbit of buying everyone drinks, then stealing the bill, or signing it "daffy duck" or some dumb shit. He 'buys' a buncha rounds. During this period I somehow forget my intent to just have one drink and head home. I remember it being decided that we were leaving to go to some upscale club downtown because we knew a guy that worked there. The bar we were at was called the double door, named because it has entrances on two streets on either end of the bar. We tried to exit through one of these doors and we almost got into a fight with some emo bouncer queer because I guess that door was only for band use that night. Can someone explain to me how youre gonna fight me with your emo bangs covering one of your eyes entirely? Anyways, I dont remember much about the club. Some guido fuck that reminded me of jordan berkowitz (alf) was talking to me for some reason and I guess I dissed him. He got kinda upset and started yelling that he was a real man and not on some gay shit, he just was saying whats up. I didnt like this guy so I just brushed him off. At some point I stumbled into my brothers guy, whos a huge club head, he got me in vip and bought me lots more drinks, but he didnt seem to know any girls... Anyways club is closing, so my brothers friend is gonna give me a ride home. We are just kinda out front and what not, and I ask the valet wher eI can take a piss. He nicely explains to me that there is one exact spot that the cameras dont cover as he points in that direction. I thank him stumbling off in that direction, I drunkenly pissed all over the two suv's I stood between not completely sure I was in 'the spot.' Somehow I met back up with the club head who was now with two pollacks. These guys were typical eurotrash and got in the ride with us. I had him drop me off because I was spinning a little. I informed the pollacks that I was too polish, if only a 1/4. Then I started talking to them about polish food, some of which they had no clue about, I probably was mispronouncing; "uzka?" "nie," "golumki?" "nie". Then I say something about nalesniki and that gets a rise out of them, "ahhh nalesniki, very good, dzien dobry!" Fucking eurotrash. Anyways we pull up to my place, I get out, thanking my clubbing freinds for the safe trip home and then stumble into my new neighbors. They invite me inside for a drink. I drink more, I dont remember much of this. All I can remember is one of htem had a freind visiting, him and his freind were fighting about something. My neighbor was a pretty big douche it seemed. I woke up in my bed, in my clothes, still drunk and confused. My mom and sister picked me up with my nephews, they took me to my grandmas were I cooked all day, still drunk at first, then hungover. Food was good cuz my culinary pimpitude is not affected by my level of intoxication.
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