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 DOJ Werewolf
Bikes, a super duper asian grinder, is 5 thousand tabling stars for a usual 28 hour session. He's got his red bull loaded, his techno beats pumping, and is chatting with his fellas on IRC.
Suddenly a message pops up. "We regret to inform you that you are playing online poker illegally in the USA. Your accounts have been frozen."
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo," bikes screamed. "How did this happen?"
"We've been monitoring your activities for sometime now, Mr. Bikes. We have federal prosecutors hidden among your player pool and we're freezing your accounts one by one. Give us your monies, nom nom nom."
"You'll hear from my lawyer," Bikes exclaimed.
"It's too late for you, Mr. Bikes. The manies are all ours!"
Bikes immediately loaded FTR and posted a very important, super serial message. It read:
Fellow poker players,
There are feds amongst us! They're looking to freeze our accounts and take our hard grinded manies! We must find these feds before they find us! I've hired a team of excellent lawyers and they can help us expose the feds and save our accounts. If you think you know a fed, you must vote to lawyer that person and our legal team will get on the case and expose that person for who they truly are. I must warn you, fellow poker players, if they are in fact an innocent player, they will be revealed to the Feds and their accounts will be frozen...so vote carefully! Lee Jones is also working to protect our players and will be investigating accounts looking for the hidden feds on a nightly basis. Well known and respected Our primary defense attorney will be able to protect one account a night! Tom Dwan has secret sources and will Tweet suspected feds on his twitter account from time to time!
Rest assured players, we will protect our accounts!
Love,
Bikes
But who could the secret feds be, Bikes wondered. I've been chatting with these guys on the forums and IRC for years. They all seem like brothers, especially that sexy bigred guy. What was everyone doing when my accounts were frozen?
Roid_rage and Willbur were having an IRC argument over whether or not the unooficial politics thread should be the official politics thread. Roid Rage argued is should be because there are a lot of good discussions in there. Willburforce argued, "For the last time, I'm British. I don't even know what politics means! God save the Queen!"
Wufwugy was busy writing a 30 page response on Obama's birth certificate.
Rilla and Gator were participating in the gauntlet tournament. Rilla got second place!!!! Gator got first...because they were the only two who signed up.
Boog was posting stupid shit on FTR that no one cared about and was probably asking to get banned.
DanAronG, DroptheBanana, and HoopyDude were having a 5NL grind sweat session. They were having an argument whether or not they should fold their flush on the paired board. They eventually folded typing "folding the flush, nh." The opponenet showed a pair of Aces and typed, "LOL NOOBS it's 5 NL."
BennyLaRue was posting semi witty/humorous responses to anything and everything. He thought, "One day I'll be as respected and liked as Bigred. Ooh, better create some more fake accounts and vote for me on the who's funnier Bigred or Benny poll. Bigred is pulling away again!"
Flomo was extremely drunk and posting nonsensical gibberish about this wine tasting he conducted earlier that day. He didn't invite anyone cool...like Bigred.
OngBonga was grinding some 50nl and responding to posts stating that he was not racist...he just hates black people.
Jackvance and Carroters were having a discussion about the proper poker strategy to beat $2 SNGs. They had spent weeks arguing over the strategy instead of playing for a total profit of $0.
TLR was busy modding the Every Which Poker forum. WTF is wombat poker? he thought.
Wait, thought Bikes, who the fuck is labourhater? On a totally random note, I don't miss Dwarfman at all, he thought.
Fulsky and Philly were chatting in the Beginner's Forum. "What's pot odds again?" Fulksy asked. "It's when I call and hit my flush on the river you idiot," Philly typed in caps lock. Caps lock is a good way to get your point across.
StillDeadMoney was busy arguing in the old werewolf thread that he wasn't the worst player. His arguments fell on deaf ears. Everyone knows he's terrible.
The rules are simple: It’s Classic Werewolf. Lawyer is the new lynch.
Lee Jones (seer) gets 1 lookup every night.
The Defense Attorney (Angel) gets 1 account protect every night.
Tom Dwan (Vigilante) gets one Tweet (bullet) every even night starting night 2. Tom is a prominent poker player and has many followers on the interwebs. He can tweet that he's found a Fed Prosecutor hidden among the players and the masses will rush the Fed and kill him. He may stockpile his Tweets at his leisure. He may Tweet as many as he has on any given night.
The Feds get 1 account freeze per night
19 players with manies in their accounts:
Jackvance
OngBonga
StillDeadMoney
a500lbgorilla
HoopyDude
Philly and the Phanatics
Flomo
Carroters
Roid_Rage
Boog690
GatorJH
DanAronG
DropTheBanana
Wufwugy
BennyLaRue
TLR
Willburforce
LabourHater
Fulksy
12 Players
Lee Jones
Defense Attorney
Tom Dwan
4 Feds
It's day 1! 10 votes for lawyering or majority holder at the end of 72 hours!
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
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