|
Muxy
|
11-02-2005, 07:56 PM
Post subject: Your FIRED!
|
#1 (permalink)
|
|
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canadian LOLUH'S AND AMERICAN LOLUHS
Posts: 1,529
|
|
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hope my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possible have a present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve hear all day. Let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all signing “Happy Birthday.”
And I just sat there… On the couch… Naked.
|
|
|
Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
|
|
STIdrivr
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Southern california
Posts: 580
|
|
lololol
|
|
|
|
ProZachNation
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
|
|
I have heard that one before, its a good one.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
|
|
|
hydroseeds
|
|
Straight
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 115
|
|
LMAO.
NH Muxy
|
|
|
|
rubixstreub
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 887
|
|
Dear Abby:
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancée’s mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test. Abby, should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought their “little test” was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
|
|
|
|
ProZachNation
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
|
|
lmao, MILF
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
|
|
|
Lukie
|
|
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
|
|
lmao.. I didnt even see it coming.. either one for that matter..
|
|
|
|
jdubs
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: California
Posts: 949
|
|
lmao..good stuff
|
|
|
|
UG
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
|
|
LOL. These were pretty good, not like the usual garbage jokes posted on here.
|
|
|
|
tom
|
|
Straight
Join Date: May 2005
Location: ATX
Posts: 158
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ultimate George
LOL. These were pretty good, not like the usual garbage jokes posted on here.
|
what does a pirate do when he goes to Las Vegas?
he plays pokARRRRR
|
|
|
|
gutshot
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: lemonade was a popular drink and it still is
Posts: 608
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by tom
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ultimate George
LOL. These were pretty good, not like the usual garbage jokes posted on here.
|
what does a pirate do when he goes to Las Vegas?
he plays pokARRRRR |
You're fired.
|
|
-jay
"i think the biggest leak in my game is using 2nd level thinking against players who can't think on the first level." -Renton
|
|
Seabass
|
|
Straight
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: trying not to die
Posts: 205
|
|
LOL
|
|
|
|
arkana
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,109
|
|
For the UK people:
The Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to add to his squad.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 mins left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 mins and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. " I played for 20 mins t oday, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, " Let me tell you about my day.
Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
|
|
|
|
LeFou
|
|
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 2,361
|
|
nh arkana
|
|
|
|
ProZachNation
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
|
|
In America we call it Soccer....
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
|
|
|
tom
|
|
Straight
Join Date: May 2005
Location: ATX
Posts: 158
|
|
you guys show no appreciation for the pirate joke. Any time you need a quick laugh they never let you down! Add in a little hook w/ your fingers and you got people literally amazed by your wit, and it's well deserved too cause you probably just made it up right on the spot.
what sport do pirates play IN AMERICA?!
soccARRRRRRRR
|
|
|
|
Miffed22001
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
|
|
GO MUXY
i liked it
|
|
|
English
Deutsch
Español
Français
Italiano
Nederlands
Pусский
Svenska
05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
Linear Mode
