Won't You be My Enemy?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rondavu

I would like to invite anyone interested to fill the position of my arch nemesis. Previously this position was filled on an intellectual level by none other than Fnord. This fell through when I realized how poker stupid I am compared to Fnord, and that he Pwns. Also, he banged my mother. This makes him somewhat of a father figure to me now. He is disqualified. At least until he stops banging my momsicle. I say momsicle to make her sound more falic, which would then make Fnord sound kind of gayish to be banging someone who's name closely resembles popsicle. That is all. Fnord da man.

As part of your position, you will be responsible for bad mouthing me absent of my presence, harrassment general and specific, taunting, namecalling, and all kinds of general humiliation directed towards me. It can not be directed towards a crowd I occupy such as "Hey you guys are stupid Rondavu". It must be directed towards me specifically, in the form of a vendetta, which is a very nice and fancy word for "plan to eat my liver with fava beans and a nice chianti". You need to be creative. I've had enough of "You're a douchebag". I'm very used to this by now, and thus immune to any and all unoriginal derogitory statements such as "Asshole", "Piece of shit", "Ben Dayho", "Marty Cone", "Honky", "Cracker", and occassionally "Cuntbelly", which I liked for a while.

In light of recent polarizations between certain veteran FTR members, I find it essential to "join the action". I promise to make myself an easier target. One thing I do that is really fucking lame is I put way too many things "in quotes". You'll find this out if you read some more of my "stupid fucking posts". It won't be all easy however. I have a thick skin, but surely a soft underbelly. One thing that really gets me going is when I have a bad poker session which one of you witnesses, and then you point it out for everyone to see. This is what originally polarized Fnord with me, but then I got over it because he's really smart and I began stroking his ego with a pair of rubber gloves. He seemed to enjoy it.

So please, come one come all. Post your resumes, or just say "hey I'm willing to work" as a wetback might say to opportunistic farmers near the Mexican border. I have nothing against immigrants, but they did swim across the Rio Grande, which is actually not so grand in some spots. Is anyone able or willing to do this small favor for me? God bless you asscheese.