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d0zer
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05-16-2008, 03:08 PM
Post subject: Wifey has left me for a week.
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#1 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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...with nobody to curb my beer intake or number of hours of poker per day, I'm potentially in a whole world of trouble.
Let's hope I run well ...
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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hookerxs!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
hookerxs!
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I'm thinking slutty high school girls cause they're cheaper (will work for weed & beer)
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WillburForce
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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my missus was away the last few days - bliss....beers, red wine, pizza,poker.
I was literally pushing her out the door - "Course I'll miss you, yes I love you too, no I won't stay up all night playing poker, no I won't drink the house dry, yes we'll talk every night, yep miss you too, yes I love you too, blah blah blah...for the love of god will you please just fuck off so I can start my 3 days of degenrate gambling and drinking?"
last bit was said under my breath obviously...
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
...for the love of god will you please just fuck off so I can start my 3 days of degenrate gambling and drinking?"
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I've already got gads of debauchery lined up. Tonight: SOOooOooft Home game ($20 drunken rebuy tourney)
Tomorrow night: Old "hardcore party-lifestyle" friend + house concert.
Sunday: 6 hours of poker
I'm like will farrell's character in old school when the ball & chain is temporarily removed 
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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so youre going streaking?
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
so youre going streaking?
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I'll probably spend the week in a kiddy pool full of ky, beer in hand just masturbating like a caged chimp.
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Pythonic
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In S-mart Swallowing Your Soul!
Posts: 586
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My wife has been out of town for a week already and she won't be back for another 3 weeks. Having the time of my life over here, lol.
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Never bet on a white man in the heavyweight division!
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
hookerxs!
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I'm thinking slutty high school girls cause they're cheaper (will work for weed & beer) |
Nice.
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Aces
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 832
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
my missus was away the last few days - bliss....beers, red wine, pizza,poker.
I was literally pushing her out the door - "Course I'll miss you, yes I love you too, no I won't stay up all night playing poker, no I won't drink the house dry, yes we'll talk every night, yep miss you too, yes I love you too, blah blah blah...for the love of god will you please just fuck off so I can start my 3 days of degenrate gambling and drinking?"
last bit was said under my breath obviously...
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ROFL. Sound like something I'd say.
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mrhappy333
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hartford, CT
Posts: 1,078
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Pythonic
My wife has been out of town for a week already and she won't be back for another 3 weeks. Having the time of my life over here, lol.
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doooooooood HOOKERZ
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
I'll probably spend the week in a kiddy pool full of ky, beer in hand just masturbating like a caged chimp.
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major sig material
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
I'll probably spend the week in a kiddy pool full of ky, beer in hand just masturbating like a caged chimp.
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major sig material |
you are correct sir
too drunk now to change
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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UG
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05-17-2008, 03:34 AM
Post subject: Re: Wifey has left me for a week.
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#14 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
...with nobody to curb my beer intake or number of hours of poker per day, I'm potentially in a whole world of trouble
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don't do both at the same time. I did that once and it didn't turn out well.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
so youre going streaking?
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I'll probably spend the week in a kiddy pool full of ky, beer in hand just masturbating like a caged chimp. |
Please remember to remove the kids from the pool first.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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d0zer
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05-17-2008, 11:20 PM
Post subject: Re: Wifey has left me for a week.
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#16 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by UG
Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
...with nobody to curb my beer intake or number of hours of poker per day, I'm potentially in a whole world of trouble
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don't do both at the same time. I did that once and it didn't turn out well. |
been there done that.
Speaking of which, I got drunk off my ass last night at the home game. Holy crap my friends are donks. Despite me being a bit of a spewtard I Won the tourney for $120, and was up $40 in the .25/.50 cash game. I played the tourney well, but by the time we got around to the cash game I was 10 beers deep or so, which led to some spewtarditude. AI with the doyle preflop vs a $20 stack? GREAT IDEA!
I probably could have been up $100 in the cash game. Ah alcohol...sigh.
Well...time to hop back in the kiddy pool. I needs me some wireless so I never have to leave it...
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kevster
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Full House
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fold City
Posts: 758
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this thread is fucking brilliant. end of.
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- You're the reason why paradise lost
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FyrFytr998
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Milford,Ct.
Posts: 1,412
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My wife went away for a vacation. It would have been awesome for me, except she left the kids at home.
FTL.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by FyrFytr998
My wife went away for a vacation. It would have been awesome for me, except she left the kids at home.
FTL.
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It's times like this I'm glad I only have 3 dogs, 2 ducks, and a parrot...
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by FyrFytr998
My wife went away for a vacation. It would have been awesome for me, except she left the kids at home.
FTL.
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It's times like this I'm glad I only have 3 dogs, 2 ducks, and a parrot... |
It's times like this I'm glad I'm not a weirdo...
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
It's times like this I'm glad I didn't marry a weirdo...
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FYP
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thizzSantaCruz
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Full House
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Santa Cruz
Posts: 894
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by FyrFytr998
My wife went away for a vacation. It would have been awesome for me, except she left the kids at home.
FTL.
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It's times like this I'm glad I only have 3 dogs, 2 ducks, and a parrot... |
what do you do with pet ducks? do you have to cage em in or what?
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Flopping quads and boats like its my job
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
what do you do with pet ducks? do you have to cage em in or what?
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I f'n hate those stupid ducks. They're aggressive and lack basic social skills. I think I got the 'alpha male' to finally stop attacking me though 
Usually I don't have to deal with em', wifey puts them in their 'house' (a modified doghouse) at night so raccoons etc don't kill em'. During the day they just wander around the backyard and try to attack the dogs, who have been (mostly) trained not to kill them. There were a few close calls with our hound though. Can't blame the guy...he's a hunter at heart.
It's a long story as to how we got them, but short answer is that wifey's had outdoor birds since she was a kid, and loves them (god knows why). We've also got two chickens which I like a lot more cause they're confined to their coop, and do something useful like provide us with almost daily eggs.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
what do you do with pet ducks? do you have to cage em in or what?
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I f'n hate those stupid ducks. They're aggressive and lack basic social skills. I think I got the 'alpha male' to finally stop attacking me though
Usually I don't have to deal with em', wifey puts them in their 'house' (a modified doghouse) at night so raccoons etc don't kill em'. During the day they just wander around the backyard and try to attack the dogs, who have been (mostly) trained not to kill them. There were a few close calls with our hound though. Can't blame the guy...he's a hunter at heart.
It's a long story as to how we got them, but short answer is that wifey's had outdoor birds since she was a kid, and loves them (god knows why). We've also got two chickens which I like a lot more cause they're confined to their coop, and do something useful like provide us with almost daily eggs. |
eat them ldo.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
eat them ldo.
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trading sex for duckmeat is -EV
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
trading sex for duckmeat is -EV
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Depends. How big and juicy are the (duck) breasts?
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
what do you do with pet ducks? do you have to cage em in or what?
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I f'n hate those stupid ducks. They're aggressive and lack basic social skills. I think I got the 'alpha male' to finally stop attacking me though
Usually I don't have to deal with em', wifey puts them in their 'house' (a modified doghouse) at night so raccoons etc don't kill em'. During the day they just wander around the backyard and try to attack the dogs, who have been (mostly) trained not to kill them. There were a few close calls with our hound though. Can't blame the guy...he's a hunter at heart.
It's a long story as to how we got them, but short answer is that wifey's had outdoor birds since she was a kid, and loves them (god knows why). We've also got two chickens which I like a lot more cause they're confined to their coop, and do something useful like provide us with almost daily eggs. |
My parents actually used to have a pet duck. They said they'd get it drunk all the time by dipping bread in bear then feeding it to the duck. Have you done this? Is it cool?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
My parents actually used to have a pet duck. They said they'd get it drunk all the time by dipping bread in bear then feeding it to the duck. Have you done this? Is it cool?
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First thing I'm trying when I get home, but I think I'll use whiskey instead.
...just what I need...to make the damn thing wanna fight even more
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