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hoaznod
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10-25-2005, 07:28 AM
Post subject: Table Arguements make my day.
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 50
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Every so often i find a guy at my table that is the pinacle of obsolute stupidity, and i can't stop myself from argueing/trash talking with them.
I was just wondering if anyone else has had any super hilarious e-fights with people.
my favorites include...
- some guy adament that his AKos was a 4:1 favorite against my 99 and that it was complete bs that i won.
- some guy who said that party poker was rigged and that he knows how to beat the system. He said that tons of real validated materials have been published about how online poker was rigged. I asked where you get that stuff and he said ebay. Mmmmmmm ebay and it's pool of knowledgeable sources....says he has "won more money than i'll ever get in my lifetime" at party poker yet he's playing in a 5.50 tourney.
- and a good old time at bodog where this guy kept saying that his flush draw had the advantage over his opponents AA. after a good 30 minutes of hilarious bouts of the classic "stfu" and "you're dumb" he of course beat my trip Kings AI after flop with a runner runner flush.
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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When someone says something stupid at the table like that, I try very hard to say something even more absurd yet still seem dead serious. It's a fun challenge.
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Greedo017
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: wearing the honors of honor and whatnot
Posts: 1,461
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i once had a guy berate me after i flopped a full house with T7, that I check in the big blind, and then won a big pot with. He wasn't even in the hand, he just starts going off about how pathetic I am and how I will lose all my money. I had a lot of fun egging him on, and I really think he convinced the table I was really laggy. It was even greater too because I called him preflop later with a suited connector, turned a straight, and he ended up putting half his stack in, in a ridiculous manner, and I pushed and he folded. he looked like quite the little bitch. It was capped off basically with him saying "i'm your daddy" and me responding "why because you give me money"? the end.
i only trash talk/argue when someone starts it with me.
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i betcha that i got something you ain't got, that's called courage, it don't come from no liquor bottle, it ain't scotch
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
When someone says something stupid at the table like that, I try very hard to say something even more absurd yet still seem dead serious. It's a fun challenge.
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I second this.. although sometimes people cross the line of sheer idiocy and I can't help but think to myself 'wtf..... he must be kidding'. I can usually keep my mouth shut, but I'm not going to lie.. sometimes I pull a Hellmuth. 
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vqc
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,427
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i turn off all chat becuase its -EV for me.
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AHiltz
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Coldbrook, NS
Posts: 1,589
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I love talking shit, when in the right mood.
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lamaros
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Flush
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 346
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I make a bit of money through my tiltesque table talk.
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
When someone says something stupid at the table like that, I try very hard to say something even more absurd yet still seem dead serious. It's a fun challenge.
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I third this. I want the entire table to think I'm an absolute idiot, not someone that actually knows a thing or two about poker.
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Monty9
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Flush
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: new jwesey
Posts: 255
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Yea, playing dumb is a blast especially with a bunch of whiners and complainers. One of my favorites is asking how much rebuys are after I loose a chuck of my stack in a regualar STG.
I do hate players that berate and insult the other players especially the fish, telling them they suck or to rebuy again. I ususlly make a note and try to crush these jerks when I get the chance. I figure we were all fish at one time or the other and why bite the hand that feeds you.
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Frizzle02
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 56
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My favorite argument was with a guy i took AI with the nut flush. He bought back in and started to insult me. Bout five hands later i was disconnected.
When i came back he said, "why did u leave...scared?"
I told him, "No, my computer realized i was playing a homosexual and kicked me."
Not another word out of his bitch ass...PWNED
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<------That was my chemistry prof.
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BIGandRICH
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Flush
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Jazz Club
Posts: 419
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whether or not i will argue changes depending on who i'm up against, if its 3 am and i'm playing low stakes i'll have a great arguement because i'm never going to see that guy again... i'm gonna start doing that say something even dumber thing, sounds fun.
Sometimes when i get one of those guys whos made some mistake, lost a stack and is now having a big whinge about it i give myself the challenge to shut him up with one well placed line... if he either doesnt reply, or replys with something like "shut up asshole" then i'm happy. That approach can be useful, sometimes tilting them further.
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villain goes AI
i call with a set (i have him owned)
i win pot
villain: **** this, this site is bullshit, ******* rigged, suck out ****
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chardrian
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I rarely,if ever, get pms
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,524
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backing up absolutely anything you say with the phrase "pot odds" always seems to work for me.
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hoaznod
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 50
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Frizzle02
My favorite argument was with a guy i took AI with the nut flush. He bought back in and started to insult me. Bout five hands later i was disconnected.
When i came back he said, "why did u leave...scared?"
I told him, "No, my computer realized i was playing a homosexual and kicked me."
Not another word out of his bitch ass...PWNED
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now that's just great.
i only start things when they either complain about how rigged the hand was even though they lost because they played like a donk, or just think they are the greatest poker player at the low limits.
how i love making fun of the luck box donks.
too bad i usually lose to them.
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lolzzz_321
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NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
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I like saying that s00ted makes u ahead of ne thing.
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chardrian
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I rarely,if ever, get pms
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,524
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Triptanes
I like saying that s00ted makes u ahead of ne thing.
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It does - pot odds.
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by chardrian
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Triptanes
I like saying that s00ted makes u ahead of ne thing.
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It does - pot odds. |
Funny you mention that. It's EXACTLY what the B&M guys say when they call 3 cold with something like 97s.
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gabe
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10-25-2005, 07:42 PM
Post subject: Re: Table Arguements make my day.
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#17 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by hoaznod
Every so often i find a guy at my table that is the pinacle of obsolute stupidity, and i can't stop myself from argueing/trash talking with them.
I was just wondering if anyone else has had any super hilarious e-fights with people.
my favorites include...
- some guy adament that his AKos was a 4:1 favorite against my 99 and that it was complete bs that i won.
- some guy who said that party poker was rigged and that he knows how to beat the system. He said that tons of real validated materials have been published about how online poker was rigged. I asked where you get that stuff and he said ebay. Mmmmmmm ebay and it's pool of knowledgeable sources....says he has "won more money than i'll ever get in my lifetime" at party poker yet he's playing in a 5.50 tourney.
- and a good old time at bodog where this guy kept saying that his flush draw had the advantage over his opponents AA. after a good 30 minutes of hilarious bouts of the classic "stfu" and "you're dumb" he of course beat my trip Kings AI after flop with a runner runner flush. |
i say stuff like this all the time to try to get the semi-aware players off their game.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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I just tell people I'm dwarfman from FTR and they call my every bet.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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My favorite (when said be me).. only cuz they were s00ted..
When you take down a huge pot with a flush with a hand like J2s and say that, it genereally sparks a lot of table controversy.
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cartilago77
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Tijuana Donkey Show
Posts: 180
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I think I am the only one who actually likes to give them the proper odds/stats/prob on hands. They seem to get even more upset when they see just how wrong they are and start calling me "professional" and "hellmuth" and then they try to snap me off so they can show me who the real genious is.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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[quote="cartilago77"]I think I am the only one who actually likes to give them the proper odds/stats/prob on hands. They seem to get even more upset when they see just how wrong they are and start calling me "professional" and "hellmuth" and then they try to snap me off so they can show me who the real genious is.[/quote
Giving lessons to fish....good idea....]
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LOL OPERATIONS
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yeardley
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Frizzle02
When i came back he said, "why did u leave...scared?"
I told him, "No, my computer realized i was playing a homosexual and kicked me."
Not another word out of his bitch ass...PWNED
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your computer is a bigot right-wing fascist piece of &^$%
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hoaznod
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 50
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by cartilago77
I think I am the only one who actually likes to give them the proper odds/stats/prob on hands. They seem to get even more upset when they see just how wrong they are and start calling me "professional" and "hellmuth" and then they try to snap me off so they can show me who the real genious is.
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yeah i love that.
they come up with brilliant one liners such as "wow you have no life" and "wow what a pro, you loser"...
mmmmmmm.
reminds me of all the 12 year olds i argue with when i play counterstrike sometimes when im' too angry at poker.
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cartilago77
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Tijuana Donkey Show
Posts: 180
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[quote="bigred"]
Quote:
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Originally Posted by cartilago77
I think I am the only one who actually likes to give them the proper odds/stats/prob on hands. They seem to get even more upset when they see just how wrong they are and start calling me "professional" and "hellmuth" and then they try to snap me off so they can show me who the real genious is.[/quote
Giving lessons to fish....good idea....]
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These are definitely not lessons. Lessons are for those that are capable of learning. Donkeys as ignorant as these are never going to use any of the info and the few times I have seen them try they grossly misuse it.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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sometimes like someone else said I just am feeling the mood to talk crap. And this mood normally comes with a certain play style that comes out of nowehre, and It works so well together. When I get in this mood I can verbally tilt people so easily its just hilarious. My favorite is plain and simple, put someone all in and say "I dare you." Depending on how youve set them up you can expect a call or a fold depending on which you want.
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edudlive
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: 100NL 6max
Posts: 623
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I just say "glub glub eaw eaw" when I bust them from a dumb move a few times and leave it at that.
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(16:02:25) Fleece: u think ur liked now?
(16:02:31) Fleece: that u got real life friends
(16:02:48) Fleece: enjoy ur real life friends
(16:03:08) Fleece: ur e-friends dont wanna knwo about u anymore
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Les_Worm
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2004
Location: MI
Posts: 1,697
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
Quote:
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Originally Posted by chardrian
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Triptanes
I like saying that s00ted makes u ahead of ne thing.
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It does - pot odds. |
Funny you mention that. It's EXACTLY what the B&M guys say when they call 3 cold with something like 97s. |
Thats funny, I saw a thread on another site last night of a guy who called 4 bets cold on the button w/ 35s because he was getting implied odds...lmao.
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The artist formerly known as Knish
Only mediocre players are always at their best.
Phil Ivey Owns You
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Frizzle02
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 56
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by yeardley
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Frizzle02
When i came back he said, "why did u leave...scared?"
I told him, "No, my computer realized i was playing a homosexual and kicked me."
Not another word out of his bitch ass...PWNED
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your computer is a bigot right-wing fascist piece of &^$% |
BAHAHAH, ROLF, LMAO!!!!
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<------That was my chemistry prof.
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ekillian
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Straight
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 235
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Greedo017
It was capped off basically with him saying "i'm your daddy" and me responding "why because you give me money"? the end.
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FUCKING ROFL. That's the funniest shit ever.
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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On PS, s&g final table, 5 players left, everyone in the money, a middle-aged guy with a pic of himself with a ballcap on backwards as his avatar say to me, "ur a loser, sucka".
Me: "maybe, but tomorrow I'll be a winner and you'll still be ugly"
lols and lmaos all round
Winston Churchill was the best.
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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Oh...same guy...
"do I intimidate you warpe?"
"no, not really. I'm not homophobic."
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chardrian
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I rarely,if ever, get pms
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,524
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I had fun with chat on Dise last night. I requested my HH's but for whatever reason never got them, so I can't cut and paste. But here's the gist of it...
I get put at a table with P5er BigGunX. He has two railbirds cheering him on - JoeChicago, and some other guy.
Joe tries to get to me by saying "my notes on chardrian just say he sucks"
His cohort than makes some comment about sucking him off, etc.
I respond by saying "cut it off guys, you're going to make me tilt"
Maybe they thought I was serious, cuz they then start the whole I'll tilt you over my couch string blah blah blah.
I respond with - "for reals guys, I need to concentrate here. I am p5er baby!!!!!!!!! gank OWNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! - JoeChicago you're gonna be ranked soon baby! - P5s rules!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was expecting that to really set them off and was hoping others at the table might bet annoyed. Instead they just shut up.
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Kiriath
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Straight
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Denmark
Posts: 216
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lol, I love letting shit out, I just love arguing that a9s or some shit like that is a preflop fav vs jacks and stuff like that, some of the math idiots around can go completely bonaza when u start throwing random sentenes like, I had potodds, implied odds, I felt lucky, I knew I would hit and stuff like that.
So funny when ppl start telling u how to play ur cards =)
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Chicago_Kid
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Full House
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: People let me tell you about my best friends...
Posts: 1,132
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Sometimes I'll just repeat "COME ON...BRING IT!" over and over until I get a call or they fold or when someone else chats anything at all. If I mix this with a bunch of random AI's and show huge bluffs, EVERYONE at my table has a good time...
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"Been gone so long, forgot how to poker"
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SuperDave9x19
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Straight
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Delaware USA
Posts: 114
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by AHiltz
I love talking shit, when in the right mood.
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I agree. It's poker. How can there NOT be trash talk.
I am always nice, but occasionally i let myself be 1/4th the jerk some other jerk is so I can go off a bit on the jerk.
I never actually argue, tho. Arguing takes thought and i don't wanna be distracted.
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Been playing money poker for 34 years and decided in 2002 to try that TX Holdem game on TV. Then found Pokerstars in Summer 2005. Still not an overall winner but i am on a good trend and nearly there.
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Andy Holt
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Flush
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: They were suited!
Posts: 336
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I like Omaha, the pots get really really big bro
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