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BankItDrew
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07-27-2010, 06:04 PM
Post subject: "so I just got fired from my clown job"
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#1 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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BUFU GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!
Trip report required buddy 
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...
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Penneywize
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 885
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BankItDrew
BUFU GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!
Trip report required buddy |
Nao imo! 
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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I laff'd @ buddy
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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The female clown and I drive into Glen Island Park, an island north of The Bronx, to do our first party. We unload the car and she drives away to find parking in the parking lot. I am stuck with a large 50 pound black bin full of goodies, a 25 pound cotton candy machine, a cotton candy pan, and a laundry bag with an Elmo costume inside. I leave the cotton candy pan & laundry bag behind and begin to wheel the black bin & carry the cotton candy machine with me as I venture into the park section of the island that was about 200 yards away from where I was standing at the moment.
I begin to walk around the park section. There are families everywhere, barbecuing and staring at Bobo (BuFu) the Clown walking around aimlessly. Finally, I call the mother and am directed to the party under the white tent. I walk there (on the other side of the park) and say hello to the mother. I show her the contract, make her aware that the $362 is due before the party starts, and that she can pay the $75 tip upfront or after the party. I let her know that Bubbles (the female clown) is looking for parking and walk back to get Elmo and the cotton candy pan. Bubbles walks past me with the facepainting bin and bunny rabbit (for the magic show, ldfo) as I walked towards Elmo and the cotton candy pan. I hurry back with the supplies and set-up for the party. I collect the balance along with $80 in tip and hand it (and my phone) to Bubbles to put in her facepainting bin (standard procedure).
We do our introduction and the crowning ceremony for the child (he was crowned the "prince of the party"). Bubbles and I then run to our set-up. She begins to facepaint the kids while I make them balloons. Stephen, the prince of the party, got a dog with a leash. All the rest of the children either got swords or hearts (swords for males; hearts for females). I was doing balloons for about twenty minutes and the line basically died down. I then began doing cotton candy. As usual with park parties, it was a pain in the ass due to the humidity. The cotton candy would stick to the middle of the spinner while particles of super-heated sugar flew at my face. Either way, I got the job done. It was around this time that the sky got really cloudy. I thought nothing of it and figured I'd move everything under the tent if necessary. I started the bubble machine and had the kids jumping all around, etc. After two and a half minutes of the bubbles, I shut the machine off...then the storm rolled in.
This was no ordinary storm. As a matter of fact, it was classified an EF-1 tornado by the National Weather Service. Yes, a tornado hit. Anywho, it started to rain extremely heavily and began to get very windy (I read that it hit about 100 mph). Everything began to fly and everybody (including Bubbles) scurried under the 10 foot by 10 foot white tent. Imagine 70 sweaty Dominicans crammed into this small space. Of course, me caring enough about what I do, I grab the cotton candy machine and rush it under the tent. I then ran back for the bubble machine, radio, and surge protector. About five minutes later, I remember Elmo is an expensive costume and run back to get him. Five minutes after that, I remember that there is a bunny out there in the tornando. I find the bunny, in its upside-down cage, in a puddle of mud. Great. I leave him on the ground under the tent. I find Bubbles in the huge group of people standing on a chair as the ground under the tent has begun to flood. I talk to Bubbles for a bit and she asks me: "What about the bunny?" However, I heard: "What about the money?" My heart sank. I forgot about the money in the facepainting bin, all $440 of it.
I jet back into the storm to find the balloon and facepainting bin facedown in the mud. There are balloons everywhere along with painting supplies. This is where I find my Motorola Droid kissing a puddle of dirt. I become livid. Of course Bubbles ran under the tent empty-handed. Never mind empty-handed, she didn't even snap the bin shut. Way to go Bubbles, way to go. There is no sign of the money, none. I look everywhere for a sheet of folded white paper (the contract) with money inside. I am doing all this, mind you, in an EF-1 tornado. There is no sign of it anywhere. Basically, I'm screwed.
I run back under the tent, tell Bubbles I was unable to find the money, and begin to dry off my phone. It is here where she tells me: "I didn't say the money. I was asking about the bunny!" "Don't worry," I say, "the bunny is on the gro..." Oh shit, I left the bunny on the ground. Remember, the ground that was flooding? I shove my way through 20 or 25 Dominicans and find the bunny and its cage full of water. The bunny was up to its chin in dirty rain water. I tilt the cage to one side and let all the water out. I hand it to Bubbles to take care of, perhaps she can do something right.
The storm begins to calm down after about fifteen to twenty minutes of chaos. Bubbles and I begin our search for the lost money. For one reason or another, Bubbles chooses to walk around in the mud barefoot. As I prayed Bubbles stepped on a broken beer bottle, I looked around the barbecue grill for money. I find the contract, soaking wet and ripped, with no money inside. It is around this time that Bubbles finds a twenty-dollar bill. The barbecue man started bitching and moaning that he lost his GPS in the storm as well. I really wish I made it known to him how little I cared. The kids started a scavenger hunt for our money. I kept thinking to myself: "There is no way we're finding this money."
About ten minutes into the search, I chose to call the office. I tried to explain to the receptionist what had happened. I told her that it would be impossible to do the next party since Bubbles and I were soaking wet. The receptionist had the balls to suggest to "Try to come back here and change. From here, you can go to the next party." I told her, "I'll see what I can do," with no intent of doing any other parties that day. I made her aware of the lost facepainting bin and money. She told me she was going to ask the boss what to do.
I told Bubbles to quit the search and drive the car into the park so we can get the fuck out of there. Bubbles went to get the car, but the police did not let her into the park. Great. I had to walk all the fucking way back with all this soaking wet bullshit. I apologized to the mother and she said she felt really bad for the way things turned out. She apologized about the missing money and said, "I know this show would have been great." I wasn't in the mood to bullshit so I carried the heavy ass cotton candy machine and bin to the car while Bubbles did essentially nothing. We loaded up the car and drove back to the office (after waiting in a shitload of traffic due to downed trees and traffic light outages).
We arrive at the office soaking wet. Of course, the air conditioning has been blasting all day. It was freezing. Anyway, I brought everything upstairs and explained everything to the receptionist. She told me Adolph (our boss) would be back soon. I heard the office door shut shortly after and it was Adolph. He rolled in and asked, "What happened?" He then took back the need for any explanation and said, "Actually, I don't care what happened. I need compensation for the facepainting bin and the lost party or you're fired" (this was said to both Bubbles and I). I looked at him for a good three seconds with a "lolsrsly?" face and said, "Alright." I walked downstairs, walked out the door, and closed the door behind me. That was it.
I have no clue if they called or texted me after that as my phone was fucked. I went home. I was barely mad to be completely honest. I have been wanting to leave this job for a good time now. The only thing that was keeping me there was the $500/weekend I was making. I had one foot out the door and all I needed was a nudge to gtfo; here it was.
Anywho, that's really it. Here I am writing this. I will begin the job search in two weeks (after I get back from Pennsylvania).
tl;dr: A tornado hit the park where my party was located. I lost the cash that the mother handed to me. I was given an ultimatum: either pay the money or get fired. I chose to get fired.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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i enjoyed that story, thanks
gl with job search
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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The parts that made me laugh the most are the parts that are totally serious but are so funny to read for those of use who don't have clown related jobs.
And seriously who names their kid Adolph anymore? You don't see anyone with those funky little moustaches. I know the spelling of the name is different but people mostly hear your name anyway.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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Penneywize
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 885
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Pretty epic story man. I think that all things considered, you're a better man for having had the experience.
Play more poker?
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stonyman
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Two Pair
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 27
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What happened to the bunny?!?!?
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stonyman
What happened to the bunny?!?!?
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Bubbles was holding him and letting the kids pet him as I looked for the money and brought the shit back to the car.
We left him, soaking wet, in the freezing cold office.
He probably died since this company doesn't really take care of their bunnies.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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"As I prayed Bubbles stepped on a broken beer bottle"
I lol'd
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Micro2Macro
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: http://three-pair.com/
Posts: 4,463
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cool story bro
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"Once we reach a certain level of mastery, we see there are higher levels and challenges. If we are disciplined and patient, we proceed. At each higher level, new pleasures and insights await us--ones not even suspected when we started out. We can take this as far as we want--in any human activity there is always a higher level to which we can aspire."
Check out my blog here!
"You are a degenerate Gaam-balur"
http://www.philgalfond.com/lets-make-some-changes/
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Micro2Macro
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: http://three-pair.com/
Posts: 4,463
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seriously
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"Once we reach a certain level of mastery, we see there are higher levels and challenges. If we are disciplined and patient, we proceed. At each higher level, new pleasures and insights await us--ones not even suspected when we started out. We can take this as far as we want--in any human activity there is always a higher level to which we can aspire."
Check out my blog here!
"You are a degenerate Gaam-balur"
http://www.philgalfond.com/lets-make-some-changes/
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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n1
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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Well, at least you learned something: Never go to a party with Dominicans.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Damn dawg.. Can you make me a balloon sword?
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speedcake
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa
Posts: 434
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+1
I lol'd IRL
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your banner burned here
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Got to be a law against holding someone financially responsible for damaged equipment. I'd go back after Adolphs ass. (This is exactly why businesses have insurance)Also.. great story.
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here? 
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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I don't think anyone saw that story coming. Not even a little.
Anywho my unemployed friend, I'll paypal you $5 to make a baloon of said bunny and post a pic of it
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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Awesome read. lolled irl many times
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Tell me you didn't let Bubbles keep the $20.
Also, pics of Bubbles or ban.
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Hoopy
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Riverballs
Posts: 777
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Great story, sucks that you got fired but if you hated the job anyway it's probably not so bad.
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WillburForce
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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lolage
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D_Fray
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Two Pair
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Raleigh
Posts: 29
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Great story. Bad day!!!!
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Follow Me On Twitter!!!!!!! twitter.com/D_Fray
(Pokerstars) DFray919
(Absolute)DFray919
(FullTiltPoker)DFray919
PSN: LiLStomachAche
These Dude Are Talented But Im Gifted!!!!!!!
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Donachello
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: TROLOLOLOLOL
Posts: 849
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major lol. gl with the job search bufu
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[00:29] <daven> dc, why not check turn behind
[00:30] <DC> daven
[00:30] <DC> on my hand?
[00:30] <daven> yep
[00:30] <DC> because I am drunk
[00:30] <daven> nice reason
[00:30] <daven> no further questions
[00:30] <yaawn> ^^Lol
Problem officer...?
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Finally, someone's boss is actually Hitler
Why do I get the feeling that clowns are also furries
No pics is ban-worthy
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speedcake
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa
Posts: 434
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pics would take this story/thread to a whole new level. I concur.
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your banner burned here
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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haha, awesome, seriously fucking awesome.
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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StarGrinder
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UTG (aka USA)
Posts: 683
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Pics or gtfo.
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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Bubbles with said bunny. Enjoy.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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haha that sucks dude, cool story though, pics of bubbles please, maybe a bubbles wud hit thread?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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hahahahah
jesus fuckin christ.
is that you in a wig?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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Dude, I know it may be hard to admit it, and you may not feel proud, but don't worry, we've all been there, and we need to know. Did you fuck Bubbles?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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Sasquach991
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Rat Cheer
Posts: 1,012
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Ok if I share this story?
This is epic
I would also like to add that you are a brave man for posting any of your clown experience on this forum.
I also can't believe the mother didn't want her money back.
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"Just cause I'm from the South don't mean I ain't got no book learnin'"
Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
...we've all learned long ago how to share the truth without actually having the truth.
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mbiz
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Straight
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Orstraya
Posts: 178
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sometimes in life a mans just gotta carry the cotton candy machine
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanAronG
Dude, I know it may be hard to admit it, and you may not feel proud, but don't worry, we've all been there, and we need to know. Did you fuck Bubbles?
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Answers needed itt
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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LOL YES
penis (had to type something in lower case to make it so LOL YES was in caps  )
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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I'm like 85-90% sure that the above Bubbles pic is a level.
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dranger7070
penis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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thats also a nice story. pretty sure the bish ripped you off and spent it all on partying with adolph
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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I'm not sure whether I should believe this story or not, but whether its true or all made up .. I'm not sure it matters. So fucking awesome.
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TRimming1
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High Card
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Savannah,Ga
Posts: 8
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Good read . very funny stuff.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boost
I'm not sure whether I should believe this story or not, but whether its true or all made up .. I'm not sure it matters. So fucking awesome.
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It's gotta be true.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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I hope you got payment for your last day, especially considering how shitty it was. He has to pay you!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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triumphant cracker
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Straight
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!
Posts: 184
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galapogos
The parts that made me laugh the most are the parts that are totally serious but are so funny to read for those of use who don't have clown related jobs.
And seriously who names their kid Adolph anymore? You don't see anyone with those funky little moustaches. I know the spelling of the name is different but people mostly hear your name anyway.
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michael jordan has one of those little funky mustaches.
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CBAT
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 831
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epic thread.
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kfaess
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Flush
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 556
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HAHAHAHA
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XTR1000
thats also a nice story. pretty sure the bish ripped you off and spent it all on partying with adolph and stephen
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WHEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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demand pic of boog in a clown costume
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,449
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how did i m iss this the first time around.
LOL
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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I hate that my boss (GMML) asked me to post a pic. As an employee of FTR, I'm required to do this.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
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