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spoonitnow
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10-30-2008, 03:51 PM
Post subject: Serious Life Beat
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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So a while back when ISF interviewed me on FTR or whatever my girlfriend's mom Googled my name and came across it and discovered that I play poker rah rah rah and decided to tell the entire family. One particular aunt of my girlfriend has asked me about it every time I've seen her since then (like February of this year). This aunt is fairly well-off, her husband is some big car salesman manager type person and it's not like they need money. So she just sent me the following e-mail:
"Will you teach me so i can make some bucks? [My son] hit a deer and the car is damaged i need the funds!!!!"
What's my play?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Stick it in her pooper obviously.
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Do you get along with her???
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Do you get along with her???
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I guess. I'm limited with creative options here because I can't mess up the relationship my girlfriend has with her since she's like one of the only people in my girlfriend's family that she gets along with/cares about.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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BE honest and explain winrates and BR requirements. Then start explaining some of the math and when her head explodes it's pretty much a dead subject.
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Do you get along with her???
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I guess. I'm limited with creative options here because I can't mess up the relationship my girlfriend has with her since she's like one of the only people in my girlfriend's family that she gets along with/cares about. |
Then just teach her a few easy things like simple ways to figure out her odds and let her play until she goes on tilt and loses all her money and or she runs real good and thinks shes better than you. Either way she will prolly give up fast.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Yeah but she's got kids to fucking raise she doesn't need to be donking it up then turn into a gambling degen and blame me.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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if she's an FTR lurker then you just registered an epic fail
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Just tell her how much work, time and discipline it actually takes to become a winning player. Tell her how the lifestyle is conducive to back, neck, and wrist problems from sitting for so many hours. Tell her the annoyances of being associated with all the negative stigmas of problem gamblers. And finally just tell her the horrors of negative variance.
If that doesn't kill her pipe dreams then god help her..
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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Or they just ran bad, or they didnt apply what you were teaching them correctly.
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ponyboy
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Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 379
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Why not tell her to just stake you? She won't know normal staking guidelines and you can pay her like 10% of whatever you win. She'll think it's free money.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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Or they just ran bad, or they didnt apply what you were teaching them correctly. |
She doesn't understand that. She'll just register the loss and the honesty and brush the idea aside.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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Or they just ran bad, or they didnt apply what you were teaching them correctly. |
She doesn't understand that. She'll just register the loss and the honesty and brush the idea aside. |
I wasnt talking about the aunt. I was replying to Gabe about how the person he taught lost $2000.
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ponyboy
Why not tell her to just stake you? She won't know normal staking guidelines and you can pay her like 10% of whatever you win. She'll think it's free money.
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This is actually a pretty good idea. Explain it to her as if she is buying stock in your poker skills.
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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Or they just ran bad, or they didnt apply what you were teaching them correctly. |
She doesn't understand that. She'll just register the loss and the honesty and brush the idea aside. |
I wasnt talking about the aunt. I was replying to Gabe about how the person he taught lost $2000. |
gabe was thinking up an excuse. obv everyone he teaches is +100k lifetime
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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Start with gabe's line, then go all aspergers on her and talking about all the intricate EV stuff you know (but not with any logical sense of order)
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Warpe
if she's an FTR lurker then you just registered an epic fail
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This x 100
+ tell the truth
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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How about explaining to her that becoming a winner is not an overnight thing. The amount of time and work it would take for her to become a winning player, and pay off her A) Accrued debts and B) the deer accident, the car will have long been fixed since.
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here? 
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ProZachNation
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Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
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Stake her $40 and let her double up through Slevin at 2nl?
ZING
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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teach her
what she does with the knowledge is her fault
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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I like this
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Your not a poker coach. Your a life coach!
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OhBollocks
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dublin
Posts: 240
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Tell her to join #flopturnriver 
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frosst
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Straight
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: count-n mah monies stewie-style
Posts: 220
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by OhBollocks
Tell her to join #flopturnriver |
lmao winnar!!
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by OhBollocks
#flopturnriver
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by XxStacksxX
Your not a poker coach. Your a life coach!
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You're*
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ProZachNation
Stake her $40 and let her double up through Slevin at 2nl?
ZING
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Shhh! That's my stratemgy!
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by XxStacksxX
Your not a poker coach. Your a life coach!
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You're* |
nice
I like the honesty. Just explain a realistic hourly rate 2 tabling 2NL.
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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Halv
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pro crastinator
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: No hindsight for the blind.
Posts: 1,842
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ship her $x to pay for the repairs, then siihp
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DaddyDeez
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Straight
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: missoula, MT
Posts: 113
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What did she think you did for money before she found out u were the greatest ssnl reg?
I would just explain to her how much commitment is needed, and how long it takes and then let her start playing 2nl for a day or 2 until she quits.
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I post nonconstructive piss
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IowaSkinsFan
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,148
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Lol sorry 
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by IowaSkinsFan
Lol sorry |
lol it's alright, the only thing her mom personally said about it was that "he didn't have to use the f-word"
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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thizzSantaCruz
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Full House
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Santa Cruz
Posts: 894
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by IowaSkinsFan
Lol sorry |
lol it's alright, the only thing her mom personally said about it was that "he didn't have to use the f-word" |
im missing something
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Flopping quads and boats like its my job
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bjsaust
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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I was going to suggest pointing to her to FTR, but then she'd read all your posts and that could be even worse...
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Just playing to improve.
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bjsaust
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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Wes, you fail at the internet.
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Just playing to improve.
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bjsaust
Wes, you fail at the internet.
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LOL there are many that would disagree with you. You must not be paying attention.
EDIT: Plus my way will make it look like hes helping her, but she prolly wont become a degen. Spoon wins.
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Silly String
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 1,434
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by IowaSkinsFan
Lol sorry |
lol it's alright, the only thing her mom personally said about it was that "he didn't have to use the f-word" |
im missing something |
Reference to the OP where Spoon says ISF's interview caused an epic chain of events thereby causing him much pain and consternation.
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Playing live . . . thanks alot Bin Laden.
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shazbox
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Straight
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 170
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching wesrman a few months ago and he still gets beat by moneymaker"
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oskar
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
Posts: 2,452
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If she seems like a stable person, send her the link to the beginners digest, make her put a post-it on her screen that sais "BRM OR BUSTO", and tell her to start 2NL with a minimum deposit.
Tell her to look up Slevin.
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The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by oskar
If she seems like a stable person, send her the link to the beginners digest, make her put a post-it on her screen that sais " ROBUSTO OR BUSTO", and tell her to start 2NL with a $3k deposit.
Tell her to look up Slevin, and to always be reluctant to concede that your poker strategy is seriously flawed if losing. |
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by shazbox
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching shazbox a few months ago and he still gets beat off by moneymaker"
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FYP.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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Or they just ran bad, or they didnt apply what you were teaching them correctly. |
I think this is a huuuge fail.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
"i tried teaching ___ a few months ago and they lost $2000... i dont think im a good teacher"
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when you coached me like two years ago I made 8k that month, and I started at 25nl. So either you are a good teacher or WEEEE SWONGS!
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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dude i was giving him an excuse to tell her, not talking about my own experiences
sheesh
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
dude i was giving him an excuse to tell her, not talking about my own experiences
sheesh
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Is this a level?
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Let's see how long we can go before someone makes this post:
Quote:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
dude i was giving him an excuse to tell her, not talking about my own experiences
sheesh
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Is this a level?
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
dude i was giving him an excuse to tell her, not talking about my own experiences
sheesh
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Is this a level? |
Is THIS a level?
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LOL OPERATIONS
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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you need to stop multitabling FTR
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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I do it for the fpps
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LOL OPERATIONS
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05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
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