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a500lbgorilla
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08-27-2006, 07:12 PM
Post subject: Rilla meets Gabe
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#1 (permalink)
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
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Cliff notes at the end.
Friday Night we throw a huge party at my place and I get obliterated, im planning on taking Saturday easy becuase I have an assload of hw even though its just the first week of classes when I see Lukie Sterile left me an aim message to call gabe cuz he's so balla he bought a new phone. I give gabe a ring and he tells me he's in town and that we're partying tonight. Oh shit, there goes taking it easy i guess. So im just chillin with my friends smokin some like hooka acid stuff that's legal (the name escapes me but it was lame) and a party just kinda erupts in our apartment. Gabe finally rings up and tells me that Ive gotta manuever my way to Fox Ridge to ball out.
I get a ride and tell them that i wont need a pickup becuase gabe promises me he can get me back. I meet gabe out front and he introduces himself as and we head up to his buddies apartment (who he is visiting at VT) and I have apparently arrived at the tail end of a monster game of 100 cup beer pong. Gabes fluid motions, constant smile, loud chappelle show quotes and barking suggests he was on the losing side. He introduces me to his buddies and I entertain with my wit for a little while when all his friends ask me "poker balla? do you have like a fancy watch? gabe bought us dinner and tipped like 60 bucks, do you do that?" Unfortunately, my balla status slides when I try to tell them that Im school busto. gabe starts ripping major ass and we leave since the place is getting fumagated. We head over to some other lame party where gabe knows every chick there. We decided to head back to more intimate drinking quarters to really put ourselves under.
Gabe and I chill and decided to drunk dial FTRers finest. Lukie, bigred, courtie were consulted. If we had hydro's number and first name, we'd probably have started ballin with him HINT HINT. gabe and i finally get up to the table when gabe starts smacking shots out of the air. Things no normal man would be allowed to do at the beerpong table, gabe's ballinity allows him to bend, break, re-write and ball at will. Eventually one of gabes friends Andy suggest we sneak out, grab some sweet greens and smoke a bowl or two.
Andy, gabe and I end up infront of some random apartment, sucking down the fine smokey air when some random guy walks by. "Hey man, is your name so-and-so?" So so and so and gabe start shooting the breeze and Andy just kinda stiffens up like a dog ready to attack. He doesnt even awknowledge the pipe im trying to pass him. "hey, come smoke a bowl with us man." "NO!" Andy barks, "I will not smoke with him." I shoot a what the fuck glance at Andy. And gabe tries to calm the whole thing down. Andy calms down a bit and starts packing a fresh bowl in the peace pipe and calls the unknown over "Shake my hand and smoke this." "Im not shaking your hand, dude." And the scene erupts, Andy stands in unknowns face. Unknown does that like head neck swerve saying "What man, you want some?" Or something stupid to that effect. They put themselves in classic stand-off positions and someone pushes the other. I look at gabe who you can tell is trying to figure out appropriate odds to lay me on the fight when i say "This is stupid" and step right in the middle, which was probably stupid. I move Andy back and ask him whats up when I find out that Andy got run over by this guys older brother. Andy had both his legs broken all his senior year and was in a wheel chair. So i pat Andy down for weapons, grab the freshly packed pipe and take a huge hit which gets stuck in my chest as a burp that I cant freaking get out. So gabe is left to settle down this fight while Im trying to relieve this burning in my chest becuase of this trapped pocket of pot-smoke. I finally get it out when I get hit like a wave and my legs basically go from under me. Niiiice. So now Im kinda drifting in and out on whats going on but so and so left and we got word that its cool to head over to his place and patch shit up.
When we get to random Fox Ridge party 3, Im gone and I know it. I barely know whats going on around me and the few conversations I did have I could hear myself saying the wrong words. I finally look to gabe and tell him that I gotta get back since it's now 2 am and I cant just catch the bus. Gabe, obliterated, grabs his keys and says "Lets roll." I get warned by everyone who "knows" gabe not to do it. And as this happens, a cop car decides to drive on past. Well shit, it would only take one glance at me to know im not capable of talking my way out of a paper bag. "Gabe are you 21?" "My fake id says I am." he smiles. Shit, so I hop inside and duck into a back room with some other guys and my whole body feels panicked but my head feels like its just about to go dormant. After the cops leave, I realize that my final plan of getting home, walking, wasn't going to work since I would stumble every 5 steps and cops were probably all over the place. Gabe tries to get me a cab, a place to crash, a DD and all i can do is nod becuase I cant connect one thought to the same word to come out of my mouth. Gabe is resolved to drive me back home or into a tree. I sneak to a back room, have some guy write me step by step directions to get back since I dont really know the way and I roll out.
The cops are all over the fucking place and Im having an impossibly hard time walking and walking properly. Finally, about half way back Im consdering just laying down in the woods and walking the way home tomorrow after Ive sobered up when some shiney car with spinnaz flys by and stops infront of me. The waitress from earlier shouts at me to get in the car, I oblige and see gabe behind the wheel and his friend in the back seat, seat belt on tightly, wide-eyed saying "dont worry, he's cool." Though, im pretty sure he said it more to sooth his nerves then mine becuase my whole thought process at that point was "Hey gabe. Fuck it, lets go home" Gabe speeds home jokingly swerving around becuase the cops would never suspect a drunk driver to be acting like a drunk driver (Hes thinking 4th level, baby).
I finally get back to my place only to find it filled with people Ive never met. In my bed, on my floor, in my hallway, like 10 people. So I head over to my buddies place at 3 am praying they're still awake. Of course they are, some huge drama erupted about some super hot super psycho chick in on of my buddies beds crying becuase she got rejected. I look at everyone trying to piece the whole thing together. "Shes really crying man." "Wheres Kyle?" "He went out the window and to Kates to hide" Fuck this shit, I need a bed. So I go to kyles room, doors locked. "Hey, Kyles here, he wants to talk." "Door unlocks, I blow by her, hit the sheets and my day ends.
Cliff notes:
Fuck that shit, read the damn thing.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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elipsesjeff
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Northern Virginia
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Haha, awesome.
Quote:
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becuase the cops would never suspect a drunk driver to be acting like a drunk driver (Hes thinking 4th level, baby).
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theDEEPdish
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Straight
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: in a van by the river
Posts: 236
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ha ha your the 
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by elipsesjeff
Haha, awesome.
Quote:
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becuase the cops would never suspect a drunk driver to be acting like a drunk driver (Hes thinking 4th level, baby).
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Sounds like a fun time dude. Glad I got called. I want to be a balla.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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good report, shane was fun
we got the waitress at outback to hang out with us with her friends but i think i got cockblocked by 'pete,' the other guy in the car. she invited me back to her place and he tagged along...maybe rilla can comment on this ?
also, that minifight was funny because of why 'andy' was so mad. he literally got ran over by the guy's older brother in a high school parking lot and broke of his legs broke. ha!
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
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Gabe, teach me to be a balla?
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LOL OPERATIONS
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WildBobAA
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: lol i dunno
Posts: 1,811
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why didn't i get drunk dialed?
fags
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
why didn't i get drunk dialed?
fags
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cause ur mean
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LOL OPERATIONS
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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dont have your number bob, i have a new balla phone so lost all the old numbers
feel free to call me so i can have it whenever
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WildBobAA
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: lol i dunno
Posts: 1,811
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
why didn't i get drunk dialed?
fags
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cause ur mean |
stfu bitch
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lolzzz_321
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NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
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is it as balller as mine?
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
why didn't i get drunk dialed?
fags
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cause ur mean |
stfu bitch |
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LOL OPERATIONS
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WildBobAA
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: lol i dunno
Posts: 1,811
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j/k i love you
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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*gabe slaps the ping pong ball out of the air*
"CUZ IM A BALLA SON!"
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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At my school you can get shot for swatting a mid air shot. We're very serious about our pong.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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midas06
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4-of-a-Kind
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Location: NZ
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haha awesome
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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Hahah good story. You pwn Lukie by a long way.
Someone teach me how to play beer pong. We don't do that in Ireland.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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You throw ping pong balls at cups filled with beer. Make the cup, they drink the beer.
You can add house rules like roll back, bitches blow, bouncing or no bouncing, etc etc
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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NBA JAM RULE AMIRITE?
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LOL OPERATIONS
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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SPOT THE BALLA
more pics to come
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Trikflow77
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: im so asian
Posts: 1,460
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
SPOT THE BALLA
more pics to come |
Is it the guy with is hand in his armpit.....cause that is straight up ballin
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samsonite2100
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Your loosing, lolololololololololol
Posts: 858
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Is that a gay party? I bet there's Bacardi Breezers in those plastic cups.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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hah... nutso...
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LimpinAintEZ
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: working myself up to FTR fullhouse status while not giving 1 solid piece of advice
Posts: 591
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by samsonite2100
Is that a gay party? I bet there's Bacardi Breezers in those plastic cups.
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oh god thats funny - Sausage fests are for BALLAS!! just ballas with no game - Im playin' - I think the balla has got to be the guy in the polo and the white hat -
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LimpinAintEZ
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: working myself up to FTR fullhouse status while not giving 1 solid piece of advice
Posts: 591
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why is everyone at your party playing pocket pool? I mean here you guys are going on with about the coolest story i've heard in at least a week, and then this is the only pic???
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this space intentionally left blank
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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GEEZ THAT WASNT A PARTY, IT WAS PREGAME
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LimpinAintEZ
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: working myself up to FTR fullhouse status while not giving 1 solid piece of advice
Posts: 591
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so whos the baller? Can you print results in white for us? 
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this space intentionally left blank
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midas06
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: NZ
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green belt
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donkbee
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WELP
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Location: so close but so far
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I was at the beach when you called. You missed me at dinner by an hour.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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givememyleg
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08-28-2006, 07:25 AM
Post subject: Re: Rilla meets Gabe
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#30 (permalink)
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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wooooooooooooooooow this is 2 amazing stories i've read in the past 15 mins... Great read..
and of course the best part of the whole thing
Quote:
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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Gabe speeds home jokingly swerving around becuase the cops would never suspect a drunk driver to be acting like a drunk driver (Hes thinking 4th level, baby).
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looooooooooooooooooooooooool
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
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courtie what did we talk about
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
At my school you can get shot for swatting a mid air shot. We're very serious about our pong.
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this is done for intimidation.
metagame reasons
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Trikflow77
Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
SPOT THE BALLA
more pics to come |
Is it the guy with is hand in his armpit.....cause that is straight up ballin |
no no no
the balla is the guy in the kick ass yellow shirt
look at that ballin bottle of beer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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You guys have little pussy Coca-Cola size cans in America. Be a real man, get a 500ml can!
They're better for shotgunning though I'll give you that.
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LimpinAintEZ
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: working myself up to FTR fullhouse status while not giving 1 solid piece of advice
Posts: 591
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500 ml? How many ounces is that? do they drink More or less in Ireland than in England? I was impressed with the English "pint" glasses - those guys know how to pour a beer
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this space intentionally left blank
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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"Go back to America with your zimas and smirnovs"
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LOL OPERATIONS
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by LimpinAintEZ
500 ml? How many ounces is that? do they drink More or less in Ireland than in England? I was impressed with the English "pint" glasses - those guys know how to pour a beer
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Ounces!? wtf are they?A coke can is 330ml.
Please don't tell me you don't have pints in America!!?? Despite what Miffed will try to tell you Ireland totally pwns England when it comes to drinking. Drink is all we have as a nation, well that and rain.
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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we have pints for sure
btw im still trying to get a couple other pics from some girl
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samsonite2100
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Your loosing, lolololololololololol
Posts: 858
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Irisheyes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by LimpinAintEZ
500 ml? How many ounces is that? do they drink More or less in Ireland than in England? I was impressed with the English "pint" glasses - those guys know how to pour a beer
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Ounces!? wtf are they?A coke can is 330ml.
Please don't tell me you don't have pints in America!!?? Despite what Miffed will try to tell you Ireland totally pwns England when it comes to drinking. Drink is all we have as a nation, well that and rain. |
And Riverdancing, yes?
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
we have pints for sure
btw im still trying to get a couple other pics from some girl
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ballas dont take pics.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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theDEEPdish
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Straight
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: in a van by the river
Posts: 236
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Irisheyes
Ounces!? wtf are they?
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about 75$ where I live
but i'll hook you up phat 
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by samsonite2100
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Irisheyes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by LimpinAintEZ
500 ml? How many ounces is that? do they drink More or less in Ireland than in England? I was impressed with the English "pint" glasses - those guys know how to pour a beer
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Ounces!? wtf are they?A coke can is 330ml.
Please don't tell me you don't have pints in America!!?? Despite what Miffed will try to tell you Ireland totally pwns England when it comes to drinking. Drink is all we have as a nation, well that and rain. |
And Riverdancing, yes? |
PWND!!!!!!!!!!!
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,605
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gabe, I don't think we really talked about anything.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by theDEEPdish
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Irisheyes
Ounces!? wtf are they?
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about 75$ where I live
but i'll hook you up phat |
i feel sorry if your smoking that shit. $325/ounce with a good hookup. you cant smoke that brown shit.
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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DaNutsInYoEye
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 1,921
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1 oz = 29.57 ml
12 oz can = 355 ml
1 pint = 16 oz (US) = 473 ml
1 case = 24 beers (12 oz) = 288 oz = 16 pints = 8.517L
1 40 oz (see boostnslide) = 1.183L
Full keg = 31 US gallons barrel, but is relatively uncommon
1/2 keg (what most people refer to as a keg) = 15.5 US gallons
A 15.5 US gallon keg =
56.78 litres
100 Imperial pints (UK)
120 US pints
160 12 oz drinks
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TheXianti: (Triptanes) why are you not a thinking person?
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hydroseeds
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Straight
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 115
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DUDE!
WTF!
I was originally gonna party at Foxridge at my good friend's place on Saturday night!
I ended up going to some frat parties at Radford. But wtf, why didnt you tell me!
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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hydroseeds you missed your chance to ball with RILLA and GABE
ill be back before summer though
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DaNutsInYoEye
1 40 oz (see boostnslide) = 1.183L
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lolo!! MGD holla!!
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jackvance
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,910
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balla=the new word for playa or something?
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Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Irisheyes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by DaNutsInYoEye
1 40 oz (see boostnslide) = 1.183L
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lolo!! MGD holla!! |
mgd? wtf
...
micky's, woodchuck, saint ides, olde english, big bear, ect... but not mgd.. who drinks 40's of mgd... thats lame...
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