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|~|ypermegachi

12-07-2004, 05:08 PM Post subject: poker and women

#1 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: emo-kid

Posts: 3,580

you know what? i need a break from this big CS project i'm doing, so i'm gonna post about how poker and women are related.

now firstly tight poker is usually the proper way to play. you want to be selective in your women too. you can't just go randomly picking up on them because most of the time it won't work out. you should be selective. well you can play loose if you want. this would be equivalent to going out with many women at a time. you get to have lots of fun, but your emotional swings go up and down radically.

now, say you see AA, and you raise too big and everyone folds. this would be like trying to pick up a women by shouting your name out loud to her. most of the time she'll think you're crazy and somehow avoid you. otherwise she'll think you're a swell guy being so bold. how about AA and you raise a normal amount so you get callers? this would be like getting a really hot and attractive girl. you spend a lot of money and time on her. most of the time it'll work well, but one day a hot girl will just take all your money away and put you on tilt. notice how you are willing to spend more money on attractive women than on less attractive women? just like the cards?

now speculative hands are really good. low suited connectors and low pocket pairs. well this girl isn't model drop dead gorgeous, but she has the potential to be SO much more! especially when you flop that straight or set. there's a lot of hidden potential in these women. you could find your soul mate! but of course there's always the chance that she turns out to be a shemale on the river. notice how you want to spend as little as possible? but the rewards are ENORMOUS when you score!

but the greatest part about poker...you're in position (damn that sounds nasty in this post), and you raise with 74o on the button. and both the blinds call. you proceed to flop a boat. this would be like the school girl with the dorky glasses studying all the time, and one day you see them take them off and you're like DAMN girl!!

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jmrogers7

12-07-2004, 05:15 PM Post subject: Re: poker and women

#2 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Feb 2004

Posts: 1,112

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypermegachi

now firstly tight poker is usually the proper way to play. you want to be selective in your women too.

I like my poker like I like my women! TIGHT!

"The urge to gamble is so universal and it's practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil." - Heywood Broun

Fnord

12-07-2004, 05:29 PM Post subject: Re: poker and women

#3 (permalink)

Moderator

Join Date: Dec 2003

Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck

Posts: 19,333

Fnord is an unknown quantity at this point

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmrogers7

I like my poker like I like my women! TIGHT!

Loose and Aggressive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBvge-c2_Xg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-Xz8aLuD7Y

Humphrind

12-07-2004, 06:34 PM

#4 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: May 2004

Location: Kansas City

Posts: 1,887

I must be a ho.

I like my poker and my women to be giving me money.

I don't know what they have to say
It makes no difference anyway.
Whatever it is...
I'm against it.

DavSimon

12-07-2004, 06:59 PM

#5 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Mount Holly, NC

Posts: 813

DavSimon is an unknown quantity at this point

Not too much preflop action....but a maniac after the flop!

lolzzz_321

12-07-2004, 07:08 PM

#6 (permalink)

NO YOU

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: My ice is polarized

Posts: 2,797

I hate being in the Big Blind Women....

FlyingSaucy

12-07-2004, 07:18 PM Post subject: Re: poker and women

#7 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: Watching the kids

Posts: 1,603

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypermegachi

you could find your soul mate! but of course there's always the chance that she turns out to be a shemale on the river.

You're right. They look pretty hot but then when its time to show...
I've gotten screwed by shemales many times.

put that in your sig and smoke it 'rilla.
In fact, I might as well just come out and say that I enjoy getting screwed by shemales.

DaNutsInYoEye

12-07-2004, 07:24 PM

#8 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: St. Louis

Posts: 1,921

I like it when when I put da nuts in their eye.

TheXianti: (Triptanes) why are you not a thinking person?

jokerindapack

12-07-2004, 07:24 PM

#9 (permalink)

Join Date: Nov 2004

Location: Flushing N.Y.

Posts: 92

I love to flop my women on the bed, turn, em over and be wet like a river (corny I know but who cares) :P

"You can't lose what you don't put into the middle, but you can't win much either." - Rounders

Radashack

12-07-2004, 09:06 PM

#10 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Sep 2004

Posts: 522

I would post a fantastic reply, however I fear for my safety as my woman could potentially read this post..

I check.

Poker Blog: http://radashack.blogspot.com/

a500lbgorilla

12-07-2004, 09:23 PM

#11 (permalink)

JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: This room is a good place to be

Posts: 8,379

*sigh* I often find myself flopping the nuts in my hand.

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.

Aceofone

12-07-2004, 10:46 PM

#12 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Jun 2004

Posts: 497

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

a500lbgorilla

12-07-2004, 10:52 PM

#13 (permalink)

JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: This room is a good place to be

Posts: 8,379

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aceofone

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Aceofone's guide to beating women"

Maybe work on the title a little.

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.

TylerK

12-08-2004, 01:25 AM

#14 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME

Posts: 1,791

Quote:

Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aceofone

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Tight is right in the first hour..."

TylerK: its just gambling if i want to worry about money i'll go to work lol

elanto

12-08-2004, 03:14 AM

#15 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Oct 2004

Posts: 1,117

Quote:

Originally Posted by jokerindapack

I love to flop my women on the bed, turn, em over and be wet like a river (corny I know but who cares) :P

sick dude :P

I like my woman tight and aggresive

-anto

<dwarfman> No I had sex for the first time on 23rd March 2005 at 11.56pm.

Les_Worm

12-08-2004, 03:28 AM

#16 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: May 2004

Location: MI

Posts: 1,697

Just like you commit to a good hand you need to commit to a good woman because you don't want to be left at home with the bachelors hand

.......JKo

The artist formerly known as Knish
Only mediocre players are always at their best.
Phil Ivey Owns You

elipsesjeff

12-08-2004, 03:32 AM

#17 (permalink)

Moderator

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: Northern Virginia

Posts: 4,900

elipsesjeff is an unknown quantity at this point

Quote:

Originally Posted by elanto

I like my woman tight and aggresive

If you are going up against Tag women you are going to get beat everytime. They wont call you down to the river and if they raise you better get the fuck out the way before they beat your ass. Plus, you can only go against them with the goods.

On a side note, everyone has failed to mention when you have a good hand but you get out-kicked. You do everything right: You got them check-calling their AKs against your AJo because you show aggression, then, all-of-a-sudden, when its time to show her your hand you're like:

Quote:

wtf? What kind of Loopy whore are you? Next time let me know your hand so I dont get my hopes up on winning....stupid b*tch

Then you start to realize you shouldn't have cold-called the flop with AJo out of position. You knew you should have folded when no one else called the raiser. And if you had noticed she doesn't raise too many hands and she's got a huge stack...hind sight is 20-20.

Check out my videos at Grinderschool.com

More Full Ring NLHE Cash videos than ANY other poker training site. Training starts at $10/month.

kling

12-08-2004, 06:13 AM

#18 (permalink)

Straight

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: Philly, PA

Posts: 203

This thread had so much potential for dry sexual humor.

I'm glad it did not dissapoint! Keep 'em coming and I'll keep laughing.

aka wildwest15
They all know me as a small timer, but that's about to change.

Aceofone

12-08-2004, 11:53 AM

#19 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Jun 2004

Posts: 497

Quote:

Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Aceofone's guide to beating women"

Maybe work on the title a little.

-'rilla

Aceofone's guide to "beating" women.

Point 1.

When a woman says nothings wrong, that means that everything is wrong.

Point 2.

When a woman says somethings wrong, that means that EVERYTHING is wrong.

Point 3.

When a woman says somethings not funny, boy, you better not be laughing your ass off.

^credit to homer simpson^

Point 4.

Don't ever buy a woman a drink to get her number, if she likes you she'll give it to you anyway (555-6789, generally means you suck, get lost).

Point 5.

Don't argue, you can't win.

Point 6

Her friends may suck, they may be ugly, they may be hot, she is allowed to comment, you are not. You must simply respond when asked: "they seem pretty cool."

Point 7

Convince her parents that your intelligent and ambitious to win them over, do not mention the time you got loaded and pissed on a government vehicle (bonus points for a cop car, super double extreme bonus points if a cop was in the car at the time).

Point 8

Get along with her pet. (slipping the little shat treats when she's not looking helps, aspirin and milk dont mix for cats).

Point 9

Don't automatically expect her to be your drinking buddy, that takes time.

Point 10

DO NOT EVER forget to call, go out, get sloshed and take a job in another city without telling her.

Point 11

Do not ever give up power in the relationship, state that power of the relationship is controlled by the best arm-wrestler/beer-drinker, if she can beat you in either of these, get out the kneepads, cuz your gonna be the bitch.

Point 12

Don't go for women without brains AND personality, it's not worth it.

Point 13

Some women look older than they may be, some look younger, when in doubt, RUN.

Point 14

If she is using long-term words on the second date, RUN.

Point 15

If she says I love you before you love her, say "I love me too" then RUN.

Point 16

If she compliments you on your manhood, respond with "dont tell me, tell your friends"

Points 17

When she calls to see what your doing and your with your buddies, don't ever say "bring some friends" remember that some are ugly and quickly add "the hot ones."

Point 18

If you ever find a woman who accepts you for who you are, the relationship can proceed to a 3rd date.

Point 19

Disregard most of the advice given.

Molinero

12-08-2004, 05:20 PM

#20 (permalink)

Straight

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: In The General Vicinity of Dallas

Posts: 230

[Insert sexually charged joke or pun on the poker term 'nuts' here]

LOL!

"We thought you was a toad!"
-- O Brother Where Art Thou?

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