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Fortune 500
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06-16-2006, 05:17 PM
Post subject: Open Letter to FTR
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#1 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bluffalupagus
Posts: 1,261
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Hello All,
First let me apologize for my sort of abandonment of the forum. I posted several weeks back that I had fallen ill with pneumonia. I came back and was ready to go with things...
Then, I had to clear my bankroll out to pay some bills. Not medical ones... I have insurance for that, but other things to make up for the time I lost at work. It was disheartening to say the least.
Between my illness and having my bankroll obliterated, I just kind of gave up on poker. I've never been a high stakes player (or even a very good player) but I've managed to build up 3 buyins of less than 100 bucks each to fairly large sums, and had some life event wipe them out. I've never gone broke from poker, but rather from outside expenditures. It is very disheartening to find yourself having to drop back to playing $2 SNGs rather than 20+2s. At that point, you wonder why you even bothered in the first place.
So I unceremoniously and kind of quietly walked away from the game, deciding to give it up. It was the right move at the time for me (I assure you, I was in no mental state to play the game).
What I've felt bad about was leaving FTR. This forum has been great to me, and Xianti and co. Gave me full license to do the book club thing. I totally f'ed that up. I wasn't motivated to do it when I wasn't playing, adn didn't really want to come on here and admit my failure in front of everyone. So I just kind of slinked off and disappeared.
It was a very classless thing to do on my part, and I'm here to ask forgiveness from the forum. I'm not here to make promises about the book club I won't keep.
But I realized that walking away from the poker altogether was wrong. It is incredibly frustrating to bang your head against the wall and not get anywhere... but then I realized that suffering through these low stakes games and grinding up these small bankrolls actually helped me. What if I didn't have that money to fall back on? How screwed would I have been then?
I took a very negative and pessimistic view, only considering that I had to step back. I never really considered how far I've actually come.
I need poker, and frankly, I need FTR. It's the reason I succeeded at all in the first place, but if I betrayed FTR by bailing out when I did, then I could understand why you all wouldn't want me.
I'd like to be back (I don't really care if the book club thing happens, or if I'm unmodded...). I just want to be back learning the game and getting better. I know my hard times will eventually pass and I'll make SOMETHING out of this game at some point... So what do you say, FTR?
Forgive me?
Fortune 500.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Happens to us all at one point or the other.
When does the makeup sex begin?
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LOL OPERATIONS
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geoffm33
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Straight
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 166
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It's all good.....Welcome Back man
Glad you're feeling better and getting back into poker...
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dzeanah
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Statesboro, GA
Posts: 95
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Sounds like poker saved you from bankruptcy/really-bad-times.
Maybe thinking about it differently will fix your mindset?
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Poker isn't about making hands, it's about making hands that get paid off. -- Rondavu
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Miffed22001
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
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pnemonia is the shits
Hope youre ok
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miffed22001
pnemonia is the shits
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nope, that's diarrhea...
Welcome back, Fortune!
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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I  your avatar. One of the best sequels ever.
Did you know it was cool movie character month?
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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Miffed22001
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Warpe
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miffed22001
pnemonia is the shits
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nope, that's diarrhea...
Welcome back, Fortune! |
A+ on the science test sir
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Fortune 500
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bluffalupagus
Posts: 1,261
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by swiggidy
I your avatar. One of the best sequels ever.
Did you know it was cool movie character month? |
Me? No, I did not. I've had that as my Av for a while now.
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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Quote:
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I've never gone broke from poker, but rather from outside expenditures. It is very disheartening to find yourself having to drop back to playing $2 SNGs rather than 20+2s. At that point, you wonder why you even bothered in the first place.
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I was going to point out that you may be missing a very valueable point in these words.
Quote:
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But I realized that walking away from the poker altogether was wrong. It is incredibly frustrating to bang your head against the wall and not get anywhere... but then I realized that suffering through these low stakes games and grinding up these small bankrolls actually helped me. What if I didn't have that money to fall back on? How screwed would I have been then?
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Then you said this when I was so ready to say the same thing.
It's not where your poker is because of your circumstances, It's really where your circumstances are now because of poker. I'm sure from your words you seem to have figured it out but I just wanted to re-itterate that had it not been for the poker and bankroll in the first place where would you be now. Maybe penniless because of extended absence from your job and zero dollars to fall back on. I don't claim to know your situation or how you are feeling, but I would like to think that the poker is not just about the money, but you had to of enjoyed it enough to get that good and it's very hard to turn your back on something that gives you so much. Hell, don't appologize to us, get better and come back when your ready, It's about you, family, friends, poker then FTR in that order. Good luck and welcome back.
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ttanaka
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,184
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Hey man, no apologies necessary. Hope you're doing ok. We're happy to have you back.
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Xianti
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: facebook.com/xianti
Posts: 5,289
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Hi!
Good to have you back, Fortune. Are you still interested in leading the FTR Book Club?
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Xianti
Hi!
Good to have you back, Fortune. Are you still interested in leading the FTR Book Club?
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I'll join if we can meet at starbucks and talk about literature over orange mocha frappucinos.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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NewJack33
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 18
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hey, didn't know where you went.. hope things start going better for ya and welcome back.
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Eric
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: on my laptop
Posts: 1,782
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Fortune, I'm glad you're active in the forums again. We have a lot of cool stuff to talk about with the wsop coming up. 
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Fortune 500
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bluffalupagus
Posts: 1,261
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Xianti
Hi!
Good to have you back, Fortune. Are you still interested in leading the FTR Book Club?
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Yes.... if we can reload it and do it right. The old way got about as much reaction as paint drying.
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Xianti
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: facebook.com/xianti
Posts: 5,289
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fortune 500
Yes.... if we can reload it and do it right. The old way got about as much reaction as paint drying.
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Splendid. Let me know what you want me to do (via PM). You'll still be moderator of that forum.
Thanks.
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euphoricism
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Your place or my place
Posts: 3,610
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Yes. PLEASE ANNOUNCE IT TO US THIS TIME. I wanted to be there, but I never knew it started!
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midas06
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: NZ
Posts: 2,196
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Xianti
Hi!
Good to have you back, Fortune. Are you still interested in leading the FTR Book Club?
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I'll join if we can meet at starbucks and talk about literature over orange mocha frappucinos. |
lol
welcome back fortune
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chardrian
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I rarely,if ever, get pms
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,524
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we need to get that gabe kaplan guy on here as our next celebrity chat (maybe he'd actually show) and get him to sing his "welcome back Kotter" theme song.
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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You are an awesome contributer of this forum, I've always had a ton of respect for you and your advice. You definitely didn't need to apologize for any absence, we're just glad you're back 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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ItDepends
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Straight
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 142
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The fact that you think you need to appologize is amuzing. It's just an internet forum, nobody is going to care if you just get up and leave (unless you are rilla).
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Pelion
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,206
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
You definitely didn't need to apologize for any absence, we're just glad you're back |
yup
Welcome back 
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gabe: Ive dropped almost 100k in the past 35 days.
bigspenda73: But how much did you win?
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arkana
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,109
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Welcome back
Like others have said you it looks like you fail to see how much poker have helped you by giving you some emergency funds. You just need to get to the point where you are making enough so that these withdrawals dont cripple your bankroll everytime and you are forced to start from scratch, which is very frustrating and unnecessary.
Rebuilding from $2 sngs is a waste of your time if you are a proven winner, find someone to stake you if you are comfortable with being staked.
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Fortune 500
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bluffalupagus
Posts: 1,261
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ItDepends
The fact that you think you need to appologize is amuzing. It's just an internet forum, nobody is going to care if you just get up and leave (unless you are rilla).
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Well, if I hadn't made the commitment to the Book club, you're probably right. I didn't apologize for leaving as much as I did shirking my responsibilities.
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ville18
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Straight
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Yo mama
Posts: 223
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i'm hot
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vqc
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,427
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hi
i like fortune
he is cool
that is all.
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