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Poker Forum |
Over 1,246,000 Posts! |
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| Demiparadigm |
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Post all useless anecdotes here please. Let's see what we can come up with. |
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To win in poker you only need to be one step ahead of your opponents. Two steps may be detrimental.
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting! | ||||
| Greedo017 |
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I think we should turn this into a thread where members post naked pictures of themselves. Bonus points if you're aroused. |
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| Irisheyes |
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Quote:
 Next person post a joke with a camel in it. |
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| Tim Vecchioni |
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one hump or two? hahahahha
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back looking to make some moolah
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| hydroseeds |
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Threesome!
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| storm75m |
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"is it gay, to play, putt-putt golf with a friend, and watch his butt-butt when he tees off... but but I aint done yet... in football a quarterback yells out hutt hutt while he reaches in another grown man's ass... grabs on his nuts but just what gives, it was never meant, it was just an accident... but he tripped fell slipped and his penis went in, his teeny tiny little round hiney and he didn't mean it but his little weenie flinched just a little bit... and i don't need to go into anymore detail but... what if he pictured it as a females butt... is that gay? I just need to clear things up, till then I'll just walk around with a manly strut..." -eminem |
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Lack of Discipline and Over-Confidence... The root of all poker evil.
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| storm75m |
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"god dammit you little muther fukker if you ain't got nothin nice to say, then don't say nothin... uhhh.... fuk that shit bitch, eat a muther fukkin dick, chew on a prick, and lick a million muther fukkin cocks per second, i'd rather put out a muther fukkin gospel record... i'd rather be a pussy whipped bitch, eat pussy and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit-ring in my nose, than quit bringing my flows..." -eminem. (sorry guys, rough day - nothing like a little violent ass rap music to relieve some stress) |
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Lack of Discipline and Over-Confidence... The root of all poker evil.
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| Demiparadigm |
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| Ass Rape music? | |||
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To win in poker you only need to be one step ahead of your opponents. Two steps may be detrimental.
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| UG |
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| Things did not get off to a good start in here. | |||
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| Fnord |
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| PWNED! | |||
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| vqc |
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| FTRs longest thread has been locked after 9 posts. | |||
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| a500lbgorilla |
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And then unlocked after 10. LIVEBOON OR DIE TRYING -'rilla |
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray. You mean the revolver, sir? Precisely. |
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| hydroseeds |
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Get 'em, Rilla!
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| Tim Vecchioni |
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| BADABING! I LEARNED TODAY TO NEVER PLAY OUTSIDE OF YOUR BANKROLL UNLESS YOU WIN! | |||
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back looking to make some moolah
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| vqc |
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| that mask is so fucking scary. | |||
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| Fnord |
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| Bmxicle |
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Did you hear about the fire at the circus? it was INTENSE. STupid jokes sound even more stupid online. |
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| vqc |
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| his lack of clothing was disturbing. | |||
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| Miffed22001 |
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Do you know why im so fat? Its because every time i do your mum she gives me a cream cake  Oh and what do you call a scottish coat hanger? angus mccoatup   (thats bad) Edit : Never ass-ume mofo. Assumption is the muver of all fuck ups (under siege 2) and chance favours the prepared mind (same film) (i suppose its true) |
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| Miffed22001 |
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Oh yeah and the best random thing ive heard recently. (courtesy of fnord) GAMBooL !!!!!! :P :P :P :P |
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| a500lbgorilla |
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I like air conditioning. -'rilla |
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray. You mean the revolver, sir? Precisely. |
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| vqc |
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| not when its cold outside. | |||
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| Muxy |
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50-400 in 4 days baby!!! rofflecopter x2 |
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| UncleBuddy |
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Quote:
How effed up is that? To say that to a young man who hadn't begun his life story. What a beotch. She was such a cold heartless woman, evil even. She used to tell me how worthless I was, how I would probably end up a drunk rolling over homeless dudes for Boones Farm money. But as mean as that bitch was, I shed a tear when she died. Then I pulled the knife out and threw it in a ditch. |
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| ™ |
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Book Two: Kirijini “What am I? I am in your tongue, a samurai sword. Not some dosu trash like one such as yourself has expected. You have underestimated both me and my wielder. I dance in the darkness and I am rained on by the flames of the nearby fire. Your death will be your most beautiful moment. Duck! Weave! Ha ha! You can’t evade my steel forever! My master has filled his scabbard with jounin blinding powder; lets see how you fight blind! I see an opening! Come master! Find this spot in the upper abdomen! Send me to it, I shall do my task! Yes! I can feel your flesh tearing! I am inside of you. You’ve done your work master and now I shall finish him off by slicing through these frail organs. He shall die here by the fire, and in all this glory and bloodshed my heart weeps for him. For he was not able to witness the honor and glory of his death… aishou…” -End |
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| Demiparadigm |
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When I was twelve was the first time I french kissed a girl. It was weird. I guess its an aquired taste. I do it pretty regularly now. |
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To win in poker you only need to be one step ahead of your opponents. Two steps may be detrimental.
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| journey075 |
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rawr.
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| Sed |
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| my foot just fell asleep | |||
 No fear, go deep or go home! |
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| Greedo017 |
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| all the cool poker players wear depends y/n | |||
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i betcha that i got something you ain't got, that's called courage, it don't come from no liquor bottle, it ain't scotch
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| DoGGz |
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| It's not a matter if your young or old, its a matter if your stupid or not stupid. In the Bible, Eve was stupid, but she was setup. Both were punished (satan worse imo lol, even tho ours was not so fun either), however today, the media isn't punished. We all know how many problems the media causes and we all know how much we all hate them. What does the media say? They have a whole list of stupid excuses like "we can't report all the 'good' stuff that is going on, its just not possible" well bitches, at least try to put it into perspective so your not trying to inflict so much fear into people so they shit their pants. Ever notice that in tragic times and events, its almost like a competiton between the media to get the highest death toll numbers, and when they get the new death toll numbers do you notice how excited and almost happy they are to report it? The media is truly f*cking up this country. I believe the media is even more to blame than the government. The governemnt almost has no realistic choice but to play along and "fix" whatever the media purpetrates as "wrong" or there will be alot of angry soccer moms / stupid majority. Just like in the Bible how Pilate "had to" sentence Jesus to death, even though He did nothing wrong, and Pilate didn't even want to.. it was just cause the stupid majority wanted it.. Unfortunately the ratio for stupid/not stupid is very much offset. And in a place where the majority rule, we are all poured into the same cup whether we would like to be or not. | |||
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| Demiparadigm |
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Does anyone but me see a notable similarity between Ponius pilate and Paris in Romeo and Juliet? Ecxcept Paris died. Nevermind. |
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To win in poker you only need to be one step ahead of your opponents. Two steps may be detrimental.
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| Irisheyes |
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I wanna be better than oxygen So you can breathe when you're drowning and weak in the knees I wanna speak louder than Ritalin For all the children who think that they've got a disease I wanna be cooler than t.v. For all the kids that are wondering what they are going to be We can be stronger than bombs If you're singing along and you know that you really believe We can be richer than industry As long as we know that there's things that we don't really need We can speak louder than ignorance Cause we speak in silence every time our eyes meet. |
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| Demiparadigm |
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The media has a vey ddirect and specific job: To get the highest ratings, and thereby the most money. They choose the stories that they feel will bwst accomplish that task. |
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To win in poker you only need to be one step ahead of your opponents. Two steps may be detrimental.
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| Irisheyes |
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Quote:
Man who brings baby strollers to see things like this!? CANNON FODDER!!!!!! |
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| Irisheyes |
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Why don't we just copy and paste all other FTR threads into this one. That'll make it long. Yes, what a good idea. |
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| LMFAO1 |
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Ben Affleck in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back- "NOOO, Bullshit, cause I wasn't WITH a hooker today! Ahh Haa!" |
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| LMFAO1 |
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Paul Sr. from OCC talking about Paulie- "If shit were electricity, he'd be a powerhouse." |
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| LMFAO1 |
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Denis Leary in No Cure For Cancer- "Life sucks, Get a Fuckin Helmet." |
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| BobbySalami |
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| This thread is long | |||
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If you wanna turn your daddy parts ORANGE eat some cheetos and watch some porn!
Currently sucking at life! |
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| LMFAO1 |
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Homer Simpson- "Beer is the source of, and solution to, all of life's problems." |
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| LMFAO1 |
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| .....I'm working on it guys. We'll get this topic really long at this rate. | |||
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| Miffed22001 |
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Quote:
weeeeeeell kyles mams a bitch shes the biggest bitch in the whol wide world... (c'mon you know the rest its from southpark) 
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| LMFAO1 |
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Here is a funny sound clip, click the link to check it out. It's from a morning show in DC. http://www.theenseys.com/Bangbothofem.wav |
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"A man who looks down on another man for making a mistake, is looking down on the whole world."
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| hydroseeds |
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//import statements //import.* public class Game extends JFrame { private Container content; private LayoutManager layout; private JPanel center, south; private JLabel array[][], label1; private JTextField texts[]; private ActionListener listener; private JButton button; private int turn=1, top=3, mid=5, bot=7, amount=15; private boolean win=false; public Game() { listener = new Handler(); content=getContentPane(); layout=new BorderLayout(); content.setLayout(layout); texts=new JTextField[3]; array=new JLabel[3][7]; for(int x=0;x<3;x++) for(int y=0;y<8;y++) { if(y==7) { texts[x]=new JTextField(0); center.add(texts[x]); } else { array[x][y]=new JLabel(); array[x][y].setText("I"); center.add(array[x][y]); } } array[0][3].setText(" "); array[0][4].setText(" "); array[0][5].setText(" "); array[0][6].setText(" "); array[1][5].setText(" "); array[1][6].setText(" "); content.add(center,BorderLayout.CENTER); south=new GridLayout(1,2); label1=new JLabel(); label1.setText("Player 1's turn"); south.add(label1); button=new JButton("End Turn"); button.addActionListener(listener); south.add(button); content.add(south,BorderLayout.SOUTH); } public class Handler implements ActionListener { public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e) { if(win==false) { if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[0].getText()))); { if(num<top) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } if(num>top) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--) { array[0][x].setText(""); top--; amount--; } if(amount==1) { label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!"); win=true; return; } if(turn==1) { label1.setText("Player 2's turn!"); turn=2; } if(turn==2) { label1.setText("Player 1's turn!"); turn=1; } return; } if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[1].getText()))); { if(num<mid) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } if(num>mid) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--) { array[1][x].setText(""); mid--; amount--; } if(amount==1) { label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!"); win=true; return; } if(turn==1) { label1.setText("Player 2's turn!"); turn=2; } if(turn==2) { label1.setText("Player 1's turn!"); turn=1; } return; } if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[2].getText()))); { if(num<bot) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } if(num>bot) { label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!"); return; } for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--) { array[2][x].setText(""); top--; amount--; } if(amount==1) { label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!"); win=true; return; } if(turn==1) { label1.setText("Player 2's turn!"); turn=2; } if(turn==2) { label1.setText("Player 1's turn!"); turn=1; } return; } } } } public static void main(String[]args) { Game window = new Game(); //window stuff; window.setVisible(true); } } |
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| hydroseeds |
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Quote:
I listen to him every morning. Funniest thing ever. |
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| hydroseeds |
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1. What steps would you follow to start and move a car with automatic transmission? Put gear in park, select automatic choke, and turn the engine on. Step on the brake and put the car into drive or reverse. 2. How would you use your brakes to slow and stop a car with automatic transmission? How would you stop in an emergency? Check your mirrors, tap your brake pedal, and apply steady pressure to the brake pedal. 3. How is manual transmission different from an automatic transmission? Change forward gears by manually shifting up or down. Automatic shifts for you. 4. What steps would you follow to start and move a car with manual transmission? Set parking brake, push clutch to the floor, step on the brake and shift into neutral, and turn the engine on. Release parking brake and shift into first. To stop the car, press the clutch to the floor and move your right foot to the brake. 5. How would you use the forward gears of a vehicle that has a manual transmission? First gear sets the car in motion, second is used for speeds 15 to 25, third gear is used for speeds over 25 or speeds up to 30 or 40, fourth or fifth gear is used for driving at higher speeds. 6. What is acceleration? How are acceleration and speed related? Acceleration is an increase of speed, the more acceleration you have, the more speed you get. 7. What procedures would you follow to steer a car straight ahead? To turn? Steer towards a point in the center of path of travel. Look beyond the turn to the point you want to reach. 8. How do you back a car? Look over your right shoulder, place left hand at top of the steering wheel, and steer in the direction you want the car to move. |
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| BobbySalami |
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I'll add 17 minutes to this thread..... In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey, Don't you know that I love you? In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby, Don't you know that I'll always be true? Oh, won't you come with me And take my hand? Oh, won't you come with me And walk this land? Please take my hand! [Repeat] [Solos] [Repeat] |
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If you wanna turn your daddy parts ORANGE eat some cheetos and watch some porn!
Currently sucking at life! |
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| Geography sucks. | |||
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| Miffed22001 |
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| hydroseeds |
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Quote:
Oh. |
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| Latest Poker News | |
| KoRnholio |
05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
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| According to an email sent out by Mark Bryan, a gaming analyst at Merrill Lynch, the Australian government plans to legalize online poker sometime in the next six to 12 months. This move will coincide ... | |
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