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spoonitnow
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03-04-2008, 11:36 AM
Post subject: This is not a joke - a pm I got on 2+2 (screenshot)
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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First, I'm sort of flattered.
Second, I'm taking applications for best reply. Gogogo.
TAKE THAT BANKITDREW
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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"Do you have a Mac?"
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
"Do you have a Mac?"
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hahahaha
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
"Do you have a Mac?"
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That's the perfect answer coming from you.
It's a winner.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Silly String
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 1,434
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"I don't have a bot. Just a bunch of Venezuelan, illegal immigrant, midgets tucked into my apartment that play multiple tables and ask me to view their tough decisions. I am the overlord of the Venezuelan midget mafia.
I have too many right now due to breeding problems, so I can sell you some on the cheap, but you have to monitor them closely or they tilt off your money. Most importantly don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight."
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Playing live . . . thanks alot Bin Laden.
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silly String
"I don't have a bot. Just a bunch of Venezuelan, illegal immigrant, midgets tucked into my apartment that play multiple tables and ask me to view their tough decisions. I am the overlord of the Venezuelan midget mafia.
I have too many right now due to breeding problems, so I can sell you some on the cheap, but you have to monitor them closely or they tilt off your money. Most importantly don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight."
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Played a little too fast, but good concept. I liked the last 2 sentences.
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Fnord
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silly String
"I don't have a bot. Just a bunch of Venezuelan, illegal immigrant, midgets tucked into my apartment that play multiple tables and ask me to view their tough decisions. I am the overlord of the Venezuelan midget mafia.
I have too many right now due to breeding problems, so I can sell you some on the cheap, but you have to monitor them closely or they tilt off your money. Most importantly don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight."
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Played a little too fast, but good concept. I liked the last 2 sentences. |
last 2 sentences are gold. a bit over the top though overall.
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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"Nah, I don't use bots. But I can hook ya up with a reliable source of Adderall."
"Let me ask Bjorne if it's ok with him."
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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Get someone to program something quickly for you with
GUI and some number producing on the screen. Sell him the bot. See what it's worth.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Trainer_jyms
Get someone to program something quickly for you with
GUI and some number producing on the screen. Sell him the bot. See what it's worth.
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Hell I can do that myself, I want to see what he'll "offer" so I can really wave my e-dick around though.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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Someone make a program that shuts down his computer when he runs it.
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b-rabbit
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 207
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"I use the MikeSexton version 2.0 DUUUHHHH!!!11"
"Forget about bots for a second. Lets exchange naked pictures."
"Follow the white rabbit."
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do the right thing.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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fnords is good and brabbits #2 is nice.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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My only weaknesses are hungry, sleepy, and Patrik Antonius.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silly String
"I don't have a bot. Just a bunch of Venezuelan, illegal immigrant, midgets tucked into my apartment that play multiple tables and ask me to view their tough decisions. I am the overlord of the Venezuelan midget mafia.
I have too many right now due to breeding problems, so I can sell you some on the cheap, but you have to monitor them closely or they tilt off your money. Most importantly don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight."
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nah, with something like this you want to keep them thinking you actually have a bot and just kind of jerk them around a little. maybe try to get some money out of him? tell him you will send him a copy of your bot for $500 and just show your profit margins over like 30k hands where you ran good, and be like, you will make this money back + more in a week. hehe.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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My goal with this isn't to get any money out of it, but to have him flood the Internet with stuff about me being a bot for real.
Note his name also.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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/no strategy in bbv
I wouldn't mess with the whole bot thing. Just tell him you're not a bot and if he insists on it, ignore him. Telling a complete unknown on 2p2 that you're a bot can't be smart.
/carry on
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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My reply?
"Ok einstein how exactly did you figure out that I have a bot? To be honest, everything I do is intended to look as if I don't have one"
it's perfect because you don't actually admidt you have a bot, but can fall a little deeper down the rabbit hole.
Although TBH, Lukie might have it right. I'd hate to end up without my money, or my account because I told some new PS bot finding strategy I had a bot.
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here? 
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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brabbit u got everyone laughing here with #2
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
/no strategy in bbv
I wouldn't mess with the whole bot thing. Just tell him you're not a bot and if he insists on it, ignore him. Telling a complete unknown on 2p2 that you're a bot can't be smart.
/carry on
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Obv but I can still have some fun with it.
IE: Sending him an installer that changes his wallpaper to the thong pic.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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btw i also bbv4lyfe'd this http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...d.php?t=146434
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Halv
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pro crastinator
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: No hindsight for the blind.
Posts: 1,842
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
IE: Sending him an installer that changes his wallpaper to the thong pic.
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OMG YES
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Jack Sawyer
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Old School
Posts: 2,535
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ITS A TARP
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My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...
Quote:
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VHS is like a book and a book is like a stack of kindles.
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Hey, I'm in a movie!
http://youtu.be/lGdnIrRKDTI
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euphoricism
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Your place or my place
Posts: 3,610
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lol BBV thread got lox0red.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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lol yeah i saw but i knew it would, was hoping prelock i would get a good reply in there
still no answer to the do you have a mac thing yet
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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a fat 2p2 mod locked your thread in BB4LYFE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
thats gotta be like, ultimate ownage right there
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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"I asked Bankitdrew if I could share his software and he said he required pics first."
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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mcatdog
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by b-rabbit
"Forget about bots for a second. Lets exchange naked pictures."
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I like this one. You could just send him a picture of your dick and say "Here's my bot, now show me yours."
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
a fat 2p2 mod locked your thread in BB4LYFE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
thats gotta be like, ultimate ownage right there
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lol i knew it would be, bot ~= poker == !bbvlyfe
(10:07:49 AM) spoonitnow: dude's reply to "do you have a mac?" was "I can get one easy enough."
(10:07:54 AM) spoonitnow: so i reply
(10:07:55 AM) spoonitnow: You're obviously not serious about this. There is no PokerStars client for Mac.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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allabout
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: VA USA
Posts: 277
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
a fat 2p2 mod locked your thread in BB4LYFE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
thats gotta be like, ultimate ownage right there
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lol i knew it would be, bot ~= poker == !bbvlyfe
(10:07:49 AM) spoonitnow: dude's reply to "do you have a mac?" was "I can get one easy enough."
(10:07:54 AM) spoonitnow: so i reply
(10:07:55 AM) spoonitnow: You're obviously not serious about this. There is no PokerStars client for Mac. |
I play at ps on a Macbook sometimes.
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Silly String
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 1,434
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
(10:07:49 AM) spoonitnow: dude's reply to "do you have a mac?" was "I can get one easy enough."
(10:07:54 AM) spoonitnow: so i reply
(10:07:55 AM) spoonitnow: You're obviously not serious about this. There is no PokerStars client for Mac. |
Nice level. Keep him wanting more.
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Playing live . . . thanks alot Bin Laden.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silly String
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
(10:07:49 AM) spoonitnow: dude's reply to "do you have a mac?" was "I can get one easy enough."
(10:07:54 AM) spoonitnow: so i reply
(10:07:55 AM) spoonitnow: You're obviously not serious about this. There is no PokerStars client for Mac. |
Nice level. Keep him wanting more. |
lol you're one of the only two people who have caught this
For everyone else, there is a PokerStars client for Mac.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
/no strategy in bbv
I wouldn't mess with the whole bot thing. Just tell him you're not a bot and if he insists on it, ignore him. Telling a complete unknown on 2p2 that you're a bot can't be smart.
/carry on
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you are such a hudge life nit.
Please give me one plausible scenario in which messing with this guy through 2+2 pms can result in a negative outcome.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
/no strategy in bbv
I wouldn't mess with the whole bot thing. Just tell him you're not a bot and if he insists on it, ignore him. Telling a complete unknown on 2p2 that you're a bot can't be smart.
/carry on
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you are such a hudge life nit.
Please give me one plausible scenario in which messing with this guy through 2+2 pms can result in a negative outcome. |
There's a difference between 'messing with' and 'openly admitting to being a bot (even though we aren't)'.
In either case, it's overwhelmingly likely that infact, nothing negative will come of it.
http://www.ps-cheaters.com/
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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no, there is no difference. If you think for a second that PS is going to use an easily edited and manipulated private message from a poker forum to...
jeez why am I even explaining this? You are stupid.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
no, there is no difference. If you think for a second that PS is going to use an easily edited and manipulated private message from a poker forum to...
jeez why am I even explaining this? You are stupid.
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I never even hinted at any possibility of this being someone from PS. Don't jump to conclusions son.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU "HINTING" AT?
do you even know?
YOURE POSTS ARE WORTHLESS YOU NITASTIC NITOHPHILE.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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p.s. <3
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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My biggest concern would be something like, idiot psycho spams this all over the interwebs, or creates a website (like the one i linked too before everything was changed) degrading your name, whatever. Then pokerstars is forced to investigate you, nothing will come of it, but why deal with the hastle? Respected players will know you're not a bot, but will the fish who need an excuse as to why they are losing know? Why deal with the hastle? Is there a tiny outside, remote chance that somehow this gets sent to stars as a screenshot ADMITTING to being a bot, why deal with the hastle? Hey, like I said, it's overwhelmingly likely that nothing comes of it, REGARDLESS of what spoon says. I just don't like messing with stuff like that. I guess that makes me stoopid.
<3
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU "HINTING" AT?
do you even know?
YOURE POSTS ARE WORTHLESS YOU NITASTIC NITOHPHILE.
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i always liked plain old 'nit', or nitzilla, or king nit, or nit kong, but nitastic nitohphile is BRILLIANT
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
My biggest concern would be something like, idiot psycho spams this all over the interwebs, or creates a website (like the one i linked too before everything was changed) degrading your name, whatever. Then pokerstars is forced to investigate you, nothing will come of it, but why deal with the hastle? Respected players will know you're not a bot, but will the fish who need an excuse as to why they are losing know? Why deal with the hastle? Is there a tiny outside, remote chance that somehow this gets sent to stars as a screenshot ADMITTING to being a bot, why deal with the hastle? Hey, like I said, it's overwhelmingly likely that nothing comes of it, REGARDLESS of what spoon says. I just don't like messing with stuff like that. I guess that makes me stoopid.
<3
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I would <3 this outcome tbh
Being up there with empire would be balla in training material
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU "HINTING" AT?
do you even know?
YOURE POSTS ARE WORTHLESS YOU NITASTIC NITOHPHILE.
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i always liked plain old 'nit', or nitzilla, or king nit, or nit kong, but nitastic nitohphile is BRILLIANT |
tyty.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
My biggest concern would be something like, idiot psycho spams this all over the interwebs, or creates a website (like the one i linked too before everything was changed) degrading your name, whatever. Then pokerstars is forced to investigate you, nothing will come of it, but why deal with the hastle? Respected players will know you're not a bot, but will the fish who need an excuse as to why they are losing know? Why deal with the hastle? Is there a tiny outside, remote chance that somehow this gets sent to stars as a screenshot ADMITTING to being a bot, why deal with the hastle? Hey, like I said, it's overwhelmingly likely that nothing comes of it, REGARDLESS of what spoon says. I just don't like messing with stuff like that. I guess that makes me stoopid.
<3
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I would <3 this outcome tbh
Being up there with empire would be balla in training material |
haha ok. Personally I wouldn't like that outcome but different strokes for different folks.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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brabbit, pm me sometime hun
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LOL OPERATIONS
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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I'm pretty sure legit guys have been investigated and wrongly busted due to a 'bothunter' spamming the web and creating a website.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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LOL OMFG THIS GUY IS TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME
Quote:
Obviously I overestimated you. I know PS doesn't make a client for a mac. I thought you might be using a windows emulator on a mac. But if you don't even know such a thing exists...
Yes, I'm very serious. I datamine PS and use poker tracking software to locate bots. I've only been using it for this purpose since the first of the year. I haven't found many good ones for NLHE on PS. The bot you use is one of the more profitable ones I've seen. I had found one about the same but I could not find its host and I just turned him in. It took about a week, but I no longer see that ID on PS. Basically, I'm done playing games here. I want a copy of that bot as you run it compressed either .rar or.zip. If your ready to send it to me and I'll set up a place for you to email it. Otherwise...
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Dude like holy fucking shit this is soooo funny. I'm going to email PokerStars support just to be safe while I think of a fun way to reply.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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F U SPOON
I was in the middle of drinking some tea with a raging case of the man-flu and I just snotted in it
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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*sound of can of worms opening*
As much fun as this is, don't let it go so far that your account gets locked temporarily. E-mailing PS support is a good idea.
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dalecooper
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,107
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This. is. AWESOME.
Here's what you do: PM him back -
"Sorry man. OK I understand now. I will send it to you, please don't get me busted, OK? What's your e-mail address?"
Then e-mail him a file. The file will be this: a .rar file containing another file with no extension. When he extracts it he'll PM you and ask wtf? and you say, "Sorry, that was just a precaution - rename it to filename.jpg and it will show you the link where you can download the bot."
In actuality, the jpg is from lemonparty.
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05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
Linear Mode
