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spoonitnow
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08-28-2009, 08:53 PM
Post subject: My Latest Adventure With Michelle
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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My girlfriend had an operation done today to break up a kidney stone she’s had for a few weeks now. She’s still sedated from the procedure when I help her into the bathroom a few minutes ago. She has to pee into this funnel-looking thing with a strainer on the end to filter out chunks of whatever she pees out. So I’m thinking this will be kind of like when you put a bunch of dirt into the thing and put it into water and shake it and shake all of the dirt out and you’re left with whatever rocks and stuff were in the dirt, right? Wrong.
Bloody. Piss. Balls.
Where the stone had cut her insides there were lots of blood clots. The bottom of the filter is a circle about an inch in diameter, and the bloody pee was only going through like a drop at a time because there was so much clotted blood. It was like a really dark red jello or something, and you could see broken pieces of the stone in it. So using a Q-Tip with the end broken off, I just had to maneuver all of these bloody piss balls into a small test-tube type thing that has a cap on the end of it. I had to do it because Michelle was about to flip out and have an episode.
I just felt like sharing. Also, here are some pictures.
  
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Vinland
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Full House
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Between a couple of points.
Posts: 610
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I've had kidney stones 2x in my first 30 yrs of life. it sucks.....
after the last one i upped my water content by about 4 glasses a day.
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I confess in quicksand
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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My friend had a kidney stone a few years ago. He used to drink soda pop al the time. Not so much anymore.
I haven't had pop without liquor for nearly a decade. Actually that's a lie, sometimes I'll get a root beer as part of a fast food combo. Other than that, it's all water for me baybay!
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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lol @ someone other than Gator or Warpe referring to it as "soda pop".
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
lol @ someone other than Gator or Warpe referring to it as "soda pop".
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Why in the tarnation is that funny?
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DrivingDog
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 923
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
lol @ someone other than Gator or Warpe referring to it as "soda pop".
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Why in the tarnation is that funny? |
Never mind that consarned whippersnapper, dagnab it.
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"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on." (George Bush).
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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I was just going to call it pop like I usually do, but I wasn't sure if the Americans in here would be confused or not.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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You guys are a hoot.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
lol @ someone other than Gator or Warpe referring to it as "soda pop".
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hardy freakin har har.
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Gator's so hip that Warpe broke him
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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hahaha fucking old guys  
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kevster
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08-29-2009, 05:04 AM
Post subject: Re: My Latest Adventure With Michelle
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#12 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fold City
Posts: 758
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
My girlfriend had an operation done today to break up a kidney stone she’s had for a few weeks now. She’s still sedated from the procedure when I help her into the bathroom a few minutes ago. She has to pee into this funnel-looking thing with a strainer on the end to filter out chunks of whatever she pees out. So I’m thinking this will be kind of like when you put a bunch of dirt into the thing and put it into water and shake it and shake all of the dirt out and you’re left with whatever rocks and stuff were in the dirt, right? Wrong.
Bloody. Piss. Balls.
Where the stone had cut her insides there were lots of blood clots. The bottom of the filter is a circle about an inch in diameter, and the bloody pee was only going through like a drop at a time because there was so much clotted blood. It was like a really dark red jello or something, and you could see broken pieces of the stone in it. So using a Q-Tip with the end broken off, I just had to maneuver all of these bloody piss balls into a small test-tube type thing that has a cap on the end of it. I had to do it because Michelle was about to flip out and have an episode.
I just felt like sharing. Also, here are some pictures.
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No breakfast for me this morning then.
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- You're the reason why paradise lost
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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your moms
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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