|
spoonitnow
|
10-23-2007, 08:59 PM
Post subject: Most Redneck Shit Ever
|
#1 (permalink)
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
I saw a guy get hit in the face with a log this weekend.
I saw a guy try to fuck two of his cousins in the same night.
Guy #2 also shot one of his aunt's cows with an AK-47 this past weekend.
I'll easily win this thread, but post your most redneck shit ever.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
|
|
grnydrowave2
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Showin' mah Pokemans
Posts: 651
|
|
lol, I live in Texas and I never see shit like that. Sorry I have nothing to contribute.
|
|
<SrslySirius> Hal Lubarsky, my nemesis.
<SaltLick> are you seriously losing to a blind guy
|
|
Hawk
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 367
|
|
How about a redneck tanktop?
|
|
|
|
UG
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
|
|
|
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by gabe
|
Fucker.
Yeah I've seen underwear made into tanktops like that a few times before, but mostly for kids.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
lolzzz_321
|
|
NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
|
|
[x]can guess who author was just by looking at the title
[ ]FTR admin besides Xianti
[ ]lynch Pelion
|
|
|
|
lolzzz_321
|
|
NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
|
|
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
My best friend since like 2nd grade, and his girlfriend, in his mom's trailer.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
p.s. yeah we like em big
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
also he's the guy who got hit with the log
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
lolzzz_321
|
|
NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
|
|
[x]triple posting is blowing up your Blackberry with email notifications
|
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Triptanes
|
just got back from my first ever country music concert, can you tell?
hint: the shirt, the hat, and the dumbfounded look
|
|
|
|
Renton
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Posts: 5,991
|
|
in chattanooga when i go out drinking with my mom, she takes me to these honky tonk pieces of shit.
Let me tell you something about these bars. They don't even sell liquor. They just sell bud and bud light and that is all. But what they do let u do is "brown bag" it. Brownbagging it is when you go and get some liquor and bring it into the bar and drink it.
I had never heard of brownbagging it before because here in civilized urban settings bars actually sell booze.
|
|
|
|
Frink
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida gulfcoast
Posts: 33
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Renton
in chattanooga when i go out drinking with my mom...
|
I stopped reading there. 
|
|
I have no sig. Quit looking down here.
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Renton
in chattanooga when i go out drinking with my mom, she takes me to these honky tonk pieces of shit
|
That's pretty redneck. You bone her?
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
you never heard of brown bagging in it??? wtf
it doesnt even have to be liquor, people on the corner always just have 40s or 22s in some brown bag
|
|
|
|
bigred
|
|
PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
|
|
I once took the subway instead of a cab
|
|
LOL OPERATIONS
|
|
Renton
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Posts: 5,991
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by gabe
you never heard of brown bagging in it??? wtf
it doesnt even have to be liquor, people on the corner always just have 40s or 22s in some brown bag
|
well yea obv, i've just never heard of bars that let you bring it in because they suck too much to have a liquor license.
|
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
also, in chicago there are tons of places like that because its so hard to get a license there. they do it for beer and liquor.
|
|
|
|
flomo
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
|
|
holy crap!!!!!!! this thread is funny
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
|
|
|
Deanglow
|
|
10-24-2007, 04:42 AM
Post subject: Re: Most Redneck Shit Ever
|
#22 (permalink)
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: lol
Posts: 2,443
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Guy #2 also shot one of his aunt's cows with an AK-47 this past weekend.
|
Wow for a split second I thought you were talking about a hand in Omaha and said wtf?!
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
10-24-2007, 12:55 PM
Post subject: Re: Most Redneck Shit Ever
|
#23 (permalink)
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Deanglow
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Guy #2 also shot one of his aunt's cows with an AK-47 this past weekend.
|
Wow for a split second I thought you were talking about a hand in Omaha and said wtf?! |
You're not very redneck then. 
I've said this before in another thread but it deserves its spot here as well:
When I was 4 or 5 (just remember it was pre-kindergarten) my dad would ride around in his truck with a 6-pack of Budweiser and when he finished one he would hand me the bottle to throw out the window at signs or mailboxes or whatever.
I've got a ton of these stories but I've gtg atm so I'll tell more later.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
WillburForce
|
|
Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
|
|
Living in London i've never seen either a cow or an AK-47...
however when i did some work expeirence in a place called Bridgewater, peoples medicals records kept having NFB written on it.
It meant Normal For Bridgewater. Loads of the locals have extra toes/fingers amputated or genrally being a bit slow....fucking inbreds
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
In high school we caught this guy Scott eating out his sister on a pool table. He was 17, she was 15.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
The state junior rodeo championships kind of shit were held about 3 miles down the road from here.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
givememyleg
|
|
WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
In high school we caught this guy Scott eating out his sister on a pool table. He was 17, she was 15.
|
hmm
|
Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by givememyleg
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
In high school we caught this guy Scott eating out his sister on a pool table. He was 17, she was 15.
|
hmm |
Before you even say it, no I don't have a sister.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
how did you just "catch" him? it doesnt seem like they were hiding it
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
He didn't know anyone else was there I guess. When his dad found out, he beat the living shit out of both of them.
I don't advocate racism but this next one needs to be told.
There are a lot of hispanics who live around here because of the farming, etc. A lot of people I know call them "Taco Niggers".
Is that not some of the dumbest shit ever?
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
bigred
|
|
PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by givememyleg
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
In high school we caught this guy Scott eating out his sister on a pool table. He was 17, she was 15.
|
hmm |
BS?
|
|
LOL OPERATIONS
|
|
Miffed22001
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
|
|
id love to post that joke from AIM, but that will result in banaments
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by givememyleg
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
In high school we caught this guy Scott eating out his sister on a pool table. He was 17, she was 15.
|
hmm |
BS? |
Give me a day or two and I can probably get pics of both of them.
FWIW I'd fuck his sister, so can't blame him. Except for the he's a sick fuck part.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
gabe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
|
|
was he banging her too or just eating her out? god damn
|
|
|
|
EzDuzIt
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Green Bay
Posts: 915
|
|
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
guy who was trying to fuck his cousin(s)
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
mrhappy333
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hartford, CT
Posts: 1,078
|
|
I host the Swamp Yankee Olympics here at my house when I get VERY Wasted.
Some of the games: Including-but not limited too:
The Clothes line crawl
( I broke the line Halfway out and fell on my Ass)
my wife was pissed
The Deck Toss
( I got the dog house off the deck and about 40' away after it rolled down the hill, this was brand new and for our 110lb lab)
my wife was pissed
The Loudest Gas Fireball
pour as much gas into fire pit and lite it, makes a HUGE wooosh
Fire pit Jump
after fire is lit, run and see who can jump over the tall flames
|
|
|
English
Deutsch
Español
Français
Italiano
Nederlands
Pусский
Svenska
05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
Linear Mode
