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will641
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11-03-2009, 04:07 PM
Post subject: morning wood
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#1 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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do you enjoy it? does it annoy you? discuss.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...
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Deanglow
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: lol
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nuisance
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,604
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11 inches.
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,447
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annoying,
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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Xianti
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: facebook.com/xianti
Posts: 5,289
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getting my swell on
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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glad i still got it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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my main problem with it is its hard to beat off for me when i just wake up. i guess my brain hasnt woken up yet and doesnt have full access to the spank bank.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,040
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indifferent. doesn't bother me.
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"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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I was cool with it when I had my own appartment. its annoying when ur living with someone else.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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sucks trying to take a piss
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,518
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I like it cuz I can slap my wife or my dogs with it to let them know who the pack leader is. When it's flaccid it doesn't have the same kinda "thwap"
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Annoying to piss out of, and it's annoying to beat off when you need to piss, which makes every morning a horribly confusing time.
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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arent you afraid your dog will just go...idk...chomp?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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It's great if you can just roll over and get some, its a more intense orgasam when you need a piss. Sucks if you don't have anything to do with it though.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Ive got no problems with it, but I never feel compelled to rub one out in the morning. If I ever do I just feel like such a degenerate for the rest of the day.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DanAronG
It's great if you can just roll over and get some, its a more intense orgasam when you need a piss. Sucks if you don't have anything to do with it though.
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Hmm, this is not my experience, I find sex or just knocking one out when I need to take a slash really shit.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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depends how bad you need to go. If I'm dying for a piss sex is the last thing on my mind, but if I just kinda need to go then I think it somewhat adds to it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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I can wait the two minutes to pee and then have sex. Peeing directly after sex is a miserable endeavor.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
I can wait the two minutes to pee and then have sex. Peeing directly after sex is a miserable endeavor.
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what?! best piss ever. Except for the occasional multiple streams.. that shit is hazardous.
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BennyLaRue
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11-03-2009, 11:44 PM
Post subject: Re: morning wood
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#20 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
do you enjoy it? does it annoy you?
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My wang does what it wants. Who am I to argue?
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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its great. srsly who can get mad at their own boner
i have no clue how anybody can get off in the morning. did it once to try but that shit takes forever and is awful payoff
and old guys not being able to get it up is a myth. grandpa doesnt need viagra, he needs a scantily clad 24 year old
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kingnat
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 827
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[x] your sister enjoys it.
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So you click their picture and then you get their money?
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Chelle
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Two Pair
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: in the kitchen
Posts: 40
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I love morning wood.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigspenda73
I'm scared of IRC, everytime I go in there Chelle tells me she's going to fuck my dad in the ass.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chelle
I love morning wood.
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I can confirm this.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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not a big fan, two reasons. I always have to pee in the morning and I like to sleep on my stomach.
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ATOTHEC101
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Full House
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,248
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Not a fan either, I'm never in the mood to toot my own horn first thing in the morning plus when you need to pee...
Even doing a shit becomes hazardous, you have to somehow bend your wang under the seat then hold it down with your hand so piss doesn't spray through the gap, it's happened before, I said the toilet must be leaking.
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"This sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catch phrase.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ATOTHEC101
Not a fan either, I'm never in the mood to toot my own horn first thing in the morning plus when you need to pee...
Even doing a shit becomes hazardous, you have to somehow bend your wang under the seat then hold it down with your hand so piss doesn't spray through the gap, it's happened before, I said the toilet must be leaking.
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I vaguely remember this happening to me when I was really young and I got my pants wet cuz they were around my ankles.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ATOTHEC101
Even doing a shit becomes hazardous, you have to somehow bend your wang under the seat then hold it down with your hand so piss doesn't spray through the gap, it's happened before, I said the toilet must be leaking.
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Hahahaha this. That fucks me off so much.
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ProZachNation
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Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
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annoying I don't have time to deal with it usually, then it is all hard to piss no good no good
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Its awesome when you got a chick in bed, because I've yet to meet one that will say no once its in lol. Kind of depressing when you wake up and you got a raging hard on with nothing to do with it. :/ Kind of 50/50 whether or not its awesome or annoying I guess.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Anybody else feel like a morning ejac is the waste of an ejac
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Anybody else feel like a morning ejac is the waste of an ejac
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Yes, but I attribute it to the need to pee during ejac.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Anybody else feel like a morning ejac is the waste of an ejac
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Yes, but I attribute it to the need to pee during ejac. |
nah, it has nothing to do with that. Take a piss and then rub one out.. it still sucks. When I was on internship I worked with this kid (a cook) who claimed that he rubbed one out as part of his morning routine. This really baffled me. I mean its just bad to start off your day with such a peak. Unless you get some, or youre going sky diving or some shit, how can you hope to top that?
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 700
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I hate morning wood. So damn annoying.
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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kevster
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Full House
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fold City
Posts: 758
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by UG
not a big fan, two reasons. I always have to pee in the morning and I like to sleep on my stomach.
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Isn't it because you need to pee that you have morning wood?
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- You're the reason why paradise lost
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Annoying to piss out of, and it's annoying to beat off when you need to piss, which makes every morning a horribly confusing time.
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Hold on, I'm confused! You can piss when you have wood? I didn't think you were phisically able. Doesn't wood close off one tube and open up an avenue for something else?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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rong
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Beachside
Posts: 1,196
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problem solved
http://www.sexhax.com/peeing.html
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Micro2Macro
hey guys, if you ever make a snap call on the river when your opponent raises you're fucking retarded.
Fucking. Retarded.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,518
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DanAronG
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Annoying to piss out of, and it's annoying to beat off when you need to piss, which makes every morning a horribly confusing time.
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Hold on, I'm confused! You can piss when you have wood? I didn't think you were phisically able. Doesn't wood close off one tube and open up an avenue for something else? |
There's nothing quite like living out in the country where you can just walk out on your back deck in the morning naked with a raging bonar, hands on your hips, leaning back & making the perfect piss arch. 
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Quote:
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Originally Posted by DanAronG
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Annoying to piss out of, and it's annoying to beat off when you need to piss, which makes every morning a horribly confusing time.
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Hold on, I'm confused! You can piss when you have wood? I didn't think you were phisically able. Doesn't wood close off one tube and open up an avenue for something else? |
There's nothing quite like living out in the country where you can just walk out on your back deck in the morning naked with a raging bonar, hands on your hips, leaning back & making the perfect piss arch. |
awesome. im putting this on my bucket list, and if i never live out in the country again, then the neighbors will just have to watch.
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DanAronG
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Annoying to piss out of, and it's annoying to beat off when you need to piss, which makes every morning a horribly confusing time.
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Hold on, I'm confused! You can piss when you have wood? I didn't think you were phisically able. Doesn't wood close off one tube and open up an avenue for something else? |
That's what The Man will have you believe. I still remember being taught exactly that in health class when everyone was going through puberty, by a female teacher. We (well, the guys) were all exchanging sideways glances but nobody was bold enough to be like, "Bitch what? Every damn morning."
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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An over-filled bladder causes pressure on our veins. Our veins are what carries our blood to the heart. No blood leaving the penis = wood.
Ex-premed ftw.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,518
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BooG690
An over-filled bladder causes pressure on our veins. Our veins are what carries our blood to the heart. No blood leaving the penis = wood.
Ex-premed ftw.
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Actually, morning wood is caused by REM sleep, where there is increased blood flow to the genitals for both men and women. Check your woman for engorged labia.
In the morning, we have more REM sleep periods than we do at the start of our sleep cycle, so we're more likely to wake up with a woodie in the morning than we are earlier in the night.
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JL
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,095
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Is there a correlation between older men not getting morning-woods and them having to get up a few times during the night to pee?
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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no that's a prostrate problem
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Alexos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Montreal
Posts: 2,766
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
I like it cuz I can slap my wife or my dogs with it to let them know who the pack leader is. When it's flaccid it doesn't have the same kinda "thwap"
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loool
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Nine to five is how to survive - I ain't trying to survive / I'm trying to live it to the limit and love it a lot //
Can offer RB deals on most sites, PM me.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Actually, morning wood is caused by REM sleep, where there is increased blood flow to the genitals for both men and women. Check your woman for engorged labia.
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Super funny sentence.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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OP
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Straight
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Iso'ing Iso's
Posts: 117
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
Actually, morning wood is caused by REM sleep, where there is increased blood flow to the genitals for both men and women. Check your woman for engorged labia.
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Super funny sentence. |
Yeah, I never knew Daven was so funny!
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bjsaust
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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I miss it 
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Just playing to improve.
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Jack Sawyer
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Old School
Posts: 2,535
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
Quote:
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Originally Posted by ATOTHEC101
Not a fan either, I'm never in the mood to toot my own horn first thing in the morning plus when you need to pee...
Even doing a shit becomes hazardous, you have to somehow bend your wang under the seat then hold it down with your hand so piss doesn't spray through the gap, it's happened before, I said the toilet must be leaking.
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I vaguely remember this happening to me when I was really young and I got my pants wet cuz they were around my ankles. |
hahahaha this exact thing happened to me as well when I was a lot younger.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bjsaust
I miss it |
I know exactly how it would feel. Anyone who thinks morning wood is a niusance should have to endure a whole week of ED just to see what they would then think about it.
This not aimed at you bjsaust, but is just general advice to help men fulfill their roles in life.
As you age, your natural T-levels will drop, and you should do something about it before its too late (like hypogonadism or something even worse). Low T-levels in men have all kinds of adverse effects on the health and general well being of the subjects, obviously undesired.
No morning wood does not necessarily mean you are on your way to ED (or things for which ED is an indication of, such as notoriously diabetes or even high cholesterol), but you should keep your cardiovascular system and T-levels in check. Fuck the sedentary lifestyle, and get really active, take your oils (fish, flaxseed, olive and also safflower at the very least to get enough Omega's) and vitamins (at least a b-complex, vitamin C at discretion taking care not to have so much that you get diarrhea from it, skip the iron), cut smoking and limit drinking, and do good old fashioned heavy compound exercises to get your T-levels through the roof naturally. You'll be back to your 20-year old self in no time.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
When I was on internship I worked with this kid (a cook) who claimed that he rubbed one out as part of his morning routine. This really baffled me. I mean its just bad to start off your day with such a peak. Unless you get some, or youre going sky diving or some shit, how can you hope to top that?
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I dunno, but masturbation is such a selfish endeavor. Pussy (and the accompanying ass and mouth) is just so many times unbelievably better imo. The thought has never even crossed my mind to jerk off in the morning because of the wood.
That guy is probably in love with his hand, just like the guy in The Big Hit. It wouldn't surprise me if he wouldn't find fucking a woman as pleasurable as his own hand, either (and would prefer the hand instead of, say, Mariana Davalos the chick in my sig and av).
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My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...
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VHS is like a book and a book is like a stack of kindles.
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Hey, I'm in a movie!
http://youtu.be/lGdnIrRKDTI
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Celticsman
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 19
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My wife has a hard and steadfast rule....Morning wood belongs to her! She does not care what time or where. If I wake up and dont supply the morning wood....I am on the shit list. I laugh cause I am just along for the ride....gotta love it!!!
As for peeing with morning wood.....Screw it! run the shower and cut loose!! Just watch your aim....Yeah Gross I know...Better than Pissing through the gap in the toilet seat and spending ten minutes cleaning up.
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Play Smart. Change Stratagies. Play the Streaks. Quit while you are ahead.
See Donk bet
See Donk raise
See Donk get lucky on the river and bust your AA with a 27 off suit
See Donk get shot in a live poker room
Dont be a DONK!
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