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ZwiFT
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03-08-2009, 12:13 AM
Post subject: mom and dad saw me doing iiiit
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#1 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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so today, i came home drunk... started undressing and loading up some porn... in th emiddle of evruyting... dad came in... he closed the door fast.. what shall i say in the morning.... lol drunjk but
WHAT THE FUCK shall i tell em
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thizzSantaCruz
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Full House
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Santa Cruz
Posts: 894
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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
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Flopping quads and boats like its my job
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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if they bring it up tell them that at least they now have some solid proof that youre normal, and not some weird asexual clown
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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They are more afraid of you bringing it up. Don't say a thing and it will go away. Nothing will be more embarrassing to your parents than talking about it unless they have strong religious beliefs that make them think you need help.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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woman naked is OK
trouble if you had dudes on the screen
dad will now be doing it on your comp, so he can blame you
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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Reidak
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 566
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About a year ago I changed out my door hardware and got a knob with a lock on the inside. I'm a student and I live at home still.
My mom asked me why I did this and the exact words were as follows... me: "do you really need to ask?... mom: "do you think we are looking through your stuff or something?" .. me: "no, not that at all, what the fuck" "well then why do you need a lock on your door?"
"I don't want you to see me fucking bitches"
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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tell them you were just jerking off to jesus' love imo.
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BoondockSaint
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,844
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Ha this reminds me of when I was in like 1st grade or at some super young age and was playing with my female neighbor under our guest rooms bed and we were both naked. My mom finds us, obviously has us get out from under the bed, takes her home, Im so young I dont really know why what we did was so bad, but my mom never mentions a word of it to me after the fact. I still wonder to this day if she told my neighbors mom about it or just walked her to the door and dropped her off. Pretty funny.
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Boondock the Bot-Slayer
-'rilla
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ATOTHEC101
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Full House
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,248
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LOL, unlucky, better for your dad to walk in than your mum imo.
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"This sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catch phrase.
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ZwiFT
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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oh my god oh my god..
Worst part is that i had my fulltilt cowboyhat on while doing it!
wtttfi cant go upstairs now
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kmind
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Not Giving In
Posts: 4,240
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is this a joke dude?
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ZwiFT
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kmind
is this a joke dude?
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No
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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you had your ftp cow boy hat on? uh.. is this standard practice for you?
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ZwiFT
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
you had your ftp cow boy hat on? uh.. is this standard practice for you? |
No i was fucking smashed =D
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Sounds like a blasty-blast!
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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wow, cant believe I/no one else thought o ask this yet....
did you finish?
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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I thought it was pretty obvious. Fulltilt cowboy hat wearing ballers don't let minor inconveniences like parents walking in mess up their flow! Same goes for individuals who masturbate while wearing, or into, a pokerstars beanie!
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Pig_Vomit
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Straight
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 165
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nah mum i was "shaking up a chocolate milk" honest.
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ZwiFT
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
wow, cant believe I/no one else thought o ask this yet....
did you finish?
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Nope, I went to bed. Finished it in the morning =D Was damn scared one of them came in again
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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dad shouldn't even tell mom imo
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ZwiFT
oh my god oh my god..
Worst part is that i had my fulltilt cowboyhat on while doing it!
wtttfi cant go upstairs now |
lol hilarious wtf
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ZwiFT
Worst part is that i had my fulltilt cowboyhat on while doing it! |
this is fucking hilarious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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sil693
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 609
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ask your dad if he's seen your fulltilt cowboy hat recently.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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this thread is worthless without pics
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LOL OPERATIONS
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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How ballas do it
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ATOTHEC101
LOL, unlucky, better for your dad to walk in than your mum imo.
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I dunno..
is your mum hot?
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here? 
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
wow, cant believe I/no one else thought o ask this yet....
did you finish?
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I believe the answer you may have been expecting is:
Jesus fucking christ dude. Don't you have any couth? There are just some things you don't talk about!
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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Halv
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pro crastinator
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: No hindsight for the blind.
Posts: 1,842
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excellent FFFFFFFYYYYYEEEAAAAAAH swiggs
now make a FFfffFFFUUUUUUuu one of how the op actually played it :P
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
wow, cant believe I/no one else thought o ask this yet....
did you finish?
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I lul'd fer realz!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by ZwiFT
Was damn scared one of them came in again
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After wat they saw?
y?
are they into you?
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
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5 spades!
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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my dad once told me that beating your pud is not a sin
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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ZwiFT is Andy Bloch?
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bennylarue
ZwiFT is andy block?
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?
vv
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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dev
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: swonging and swonging
Posts: 1,550
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My dad actually walked in on me and my first girlfriend, he stared at her tits for a second before closing the door.
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Check out my self-deprecation here!
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
5 spades!
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you got that motherfucing right!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we need more spasdaes
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffyyyyyeaaaaaaaaahhhh hhhhh!!!!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by dev
My dad actually walked in on me and my first girlfriend, he stared at her tits for a second before closing the door.
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wow, your dad is a balla
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sinister1
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Straight
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 235
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by dev
My dad actually walked in on me and my first girlfriend...
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Same here. The experience actually taught my dad how to knock, something I did not think was possible.
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WildBobAA
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: lol i dunno
Posts: 1,811
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ZwiFT, same thing happened to me like 3 years ago. My dad hasn't said a word about it ever.
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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yeh but were you wearing a cowboy hat?
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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ZwiFT
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Valuebet/fold
Posts: 778
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
ZwiFT, same thing happened to me like 3 years ago. My dad hasn't said a word about it ever.
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This is my experience aswell. He didn't say shit. I've had a similar experience when i was younger tho;
When i was out of toilet paper, i used to blow my load into socks.. And i was to lazy to do anything about them so i just put them in my Tray. At a point there was like 15-20 of them there, and when i came home one day from school. I looked in my tray, and they were all clean lol. . Mom had washed em up
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ZwiFT
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
ZwiFT, same thing happened to me like 3 years ago. My dad hasn't said a word about it ever.
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This is my experience aswell. He didn't say shit. I've had a similar experience when i was younger tho;
When i was out of toilet paper, i used to blow my load into socks.. And i was to lazy to do anything about them so i just put them in my Tray. At a point there was like 15-20 of them there, and when i came home one day from school. I looked in my tray, and they were all clean lol. . Mom had washed em up |
I just stick them in the clothes hamper 
Also, this thread has made definitely made my day and week; more than likely month, and quite possibly year.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFYYYEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Brag: (beat?)
I've never been walked in on having sex or beatin it. This could be due to one of two things:
1.) I pick excellent times to do either.
2.) I finish too fast 
Dear God, let it be #1.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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3) Virgin, jack it in shower.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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virgin no, shower yes
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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you guys have internets in the shower?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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lol just take your laptop in the shower, dumbass. What are you, 40?
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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vennix
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Derby City
Posts: 31
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lmao nice and i wouldnt worry about them saying anything unless they are real religious. But be careful cuz u might catch ur dad next time hahaha
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giumary
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4
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wowwwwwww  nice wufwugy
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,449
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Who the hell jacks it in the shower? Uncomfortable imo.
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by giumary
wowwwwwww nice wufwugy |
lol, I couldn't figure out why this one randomly picked out wufwugy.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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