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Men are from mars women are from......

  
 
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Muxy
Old 09-28-2005, 08:26 PM     Post subject: Men are from mars women are from...... #1 (permalink)  
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
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STIdrivr
Old 09-28-2005, 08:52 PM #2 (permalink)  
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LOL
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a500lbgorilla
Old 09-28-2005, 08:56 PM #3 (permalink)  
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Women are the rubix cube of life. All different colors.. and in a cube that you have to shift around forever and never get to line up quite right so you just smash the thing and reasssemble it as a finished monotone sided cube. That's woman alright...

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
 
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LeFou
Old 09-28-2005, 09:11 PM #4 (permalink)  
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I've had pretty good luck just peeling off the stickers and putting 'em on different places.
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boost
Old 09-28-2005, 09:40 PM #5 (permalink)  
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hhhhhhhhollly shit.. taht was the funniest post in a long long time... wow... WOW!!!!
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Aces
Old 09-28-2005, 10:37 PM #6 (permalink)  
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ROFL...good one mux
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ilikeaces86
Old 09-28-2005, 10:39 PM #7 (permalink)  
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 I hope you have a stong forearm. Cause your gonna be using it a lot for the next few weeks.
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Aces
Old 09-28-2005, 10:51 PM #8 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikeaces86
I hope you have a stong forearm. Cause your gonna be using it a lot for the next few weeks.
nh
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jmontis
Old 09-28-2005, 11:14 PM #9 (permalink)  
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Hah, way to go man, I can't believe she had the nerve to ask for a tennis bracelet when she isn't even acting like YOUR woman in the bedroom, that's a load of bs.

I'm glad you had the backbone to do that, she is fucking with your head for sure.
take your ego out of the equation and judge the situation dispassionately
 
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Old 09-28-2005, 11:20 PM #10 (permalink)  
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Haha, that's funny stuff.
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lolzzz_321
Old 09-29-2005, 12:04 AM #11 (permalink)  
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Muxxy is in HS? y/n
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LeFou
Old 09-29-2005, 12:41 AM #12 (permalink)  
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um ... Muxxy is it time to come clean, maybe? This story sounds vaguely familiar.
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Muxy
Old 09-29-2005, 02:24 AM #13 (permalink)  
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I didnt post this as a personal story it is a joke on the inter-web!
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DoGGz
Old 09-29-2005, 03:01 AM #14 (permalink)  
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what is even better is that people didn't see that it was a

JOKE

and thought muxy himself would have the balls to do something fun like this.

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bigred
Old 09-29-2005, 03:11 AM #15 (permalink)  
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LOL OPERATIONS
 
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Trikflow77
Old 09-29-2005, 03:15 AM     Post subject: Re: Men are from mars women are from...... #16 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Muxy
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.
I bet it was walmart............
 
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boost
Old 09-29-2005, 04:43 AM #17 (permalink)  
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trik haha

yah I figured it was just a joke, the wording was too good to be written as an acount of something that happened the other day. Just seemed well scripted and what not.. also muxy aint that old..
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Tim Vecchioni
Old 09-29-2005, 02:12 PM #18 (permalink)  
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Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
back looking to make some moolah
 
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Miffed22001
Old 10-03-2005, 04:31 PM #19 (permalink)  
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 I dont have this problem with my woman
I wonder why?

Muxy you are obviously short of something you filth
:P
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