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d0zer
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01-14-2010, 03:53 AM
Post subject: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#1 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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I was sitting at a local bistro, enjoying my spinach & goat cheese quiche, when I noticed a mother with her mentally challenged daughter sitting at an adjacent table, eying me. I smiled politely a few times, and after the mother finished her meal, she approached me. She explained how ever since she told her daughter about sex, it's all that's been on her mind. She talks about it obsessively, and wants more than anything to experience it.
The daughter was in her mid-20s, in a wheel chair for life, so she had very thin legs relative to her somewhat thicker upper body (huge gunners). She had that 'mentally challenged look' on her face, lip somewhat dragging, allowing for the occasional stream of drool, but overall -- somewhat attractive.
We went back to their house, the daughter displaying bursts of excitement that were only amplified when we were left alone in her room. I took things very slowly (perhaps TOO slow for her), and she was highly receptive at every stage. As she finished, she released what can only be described as a viking war cry, which pushed me over the top.
We briefly discussed our favorite color of play-dough, before I looked at my watch and indicated that I had to get back to work. As I left the house, her mother politely thanked me, and I was gone.
Kind of a surreal experience, but seriously -- who's gunna turn down a lunch shag 
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Penneywize
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01-14-2010, 04:48 AM
Post subject: Re: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#2 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 885
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
I was sitting at a local bistro, enjoying my spinach & goat cheese quiche ...
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I already don't believe you.
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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fwiw, the aforementioned quiche is quite delicious
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flomarilius
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High Card
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10
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kinda odd :/
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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wtf
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LOL OPERATIONS
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meeloche
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,131
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I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the line is on if this is real or not. I'm thinking 3/2 against. But I'm terrible at setting lines.
I'll start it at 3/2 and open it up to the free market.
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oskar
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
Posts: 2,452
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That's a good story. 
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The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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i'm in the mood to masterbate now.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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^5
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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Cool story bro. Made my morning
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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Cool story to tell your grandchildren one day
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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Icanhastreebet
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: In the big blind, cold calling your opens, making you tilt.
Posts: 995
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nh if true
wp if false
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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I know I'm posting again but seriously this has made my morning. Cool story well told imo
'bursts of excitement' and 'viking war cry' made me rofl
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Please be true
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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WillburForce
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01-14-2010, 12:44 PM
Post subject: Re: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#16 (permalink)
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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would have been funnier if you'd gone in the room with her so the mum thinks you're doing it, then written "Retard" on her forehead in permament marker. Had a quick wank and left.
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frosst
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Straight
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: count-n mah monies stewie-style
Posts: 220
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pics of retard for applause or shunning
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Was the Mom hot?
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Also, haha at you eating at a bistro alone, Daven.
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kingnat
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01-14-2010, 02:46 PM
Post subject: Re: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#20 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 827
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
She had that 'mentally challenged look' on her face, lip somewhat dragging, allowing for the occasional stream of drool, but overall -- somewhat attractive.
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hawt.
There is no mention of terts anywhere in this, so obviously fake.
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So you click their picture and then you get their money?
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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c'mon you'd have to at least make a deal w the mommy to get some milf lovin'... you fail
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
c'mon you'd have to at least make a deal w the mommy to get some milf lovin'... you fail
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EXACTLY!!!!
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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100% false. Was waiting to get prince rolled
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
100% false. Was waiting to get prince rolled
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Would you call shakespeare "false"?
*sigh*
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Montague or it didn't happen
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d0zer
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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You sorry sacks of shit can't see the forest through the trees.
It doesn't matter whether or not this happened -- it's a beautiful lighthearted story about romance, love, coming of age, play-dough, and the beauty of the human experience.
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oskar
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
Posts: 2,452
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You are quite the artist.
And Don Juan of the mentally handicapped.
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Warpe
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01-14-2010, 09:46 PM
Post subject: Re: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#28 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
...(huge gunners)...
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poetry
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d0zer
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01-15-2010, 04:09 AM
Post subject: Re: Made love to a mentally-handicapped girl at lunch...
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#29 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,521
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kingnat
Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
She had that 'mentally challenged look' on her face, lip somewhat dragging, allowing for the occasional stream of drool, but overall -- somewhat attractive.
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hawt.
There is no mention of terts anywhere in this, so obviously fake. |
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Warpe
Quote:
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Originally Posted by d0zer
...(huge gunners)...
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poetry |
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pl4ytime
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BANNED
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 49
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How old was her mom? She was probably laughing her ass off after you went into the room with her daughter
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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one of my friends had a few of us believing a very similar story but it had to do with a girl in a wheel chair and a fence post.
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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Check your logs d0zer, I actually said in IRC that it doesn't matter if it's true of not.
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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jjbish
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3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 84
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You had me at play doh. 
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NH, WP, GG, TY, Etc..........................
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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If it was true it would have been told via MSpaint, not prose. So in a sense it's more beautiful this way?
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