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TheFaucet
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10-21-2007, 02:51 AM
Post subject: Let's talk about boners and stuff
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 21
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I've had many a fine erection in my time but the one that sticks out is the one I had summer of 2003, I was working 3 to 6 shifts as a physical therapist's aide after school and one day I had to give this fine 17-year old brunette an ultrasound because she hurt her pretty feet playing lacrosse, so I'm rubbing her calves with the head of the ultrasound machine and I'm worried about getting a boner and sure enough I get a boner, I'm like damn I got a boner and I'm trying to make it go away but it doesn't because I can't stop fantasizing about railing this bich right here right now, I finish giving this chick an ultrasound massage and I'm wiping off the gel from her legs and I still have a hudge boner when a co-worker call me to deal with a patient, so guess what I do I tuck my boner behind my legs, effectively hiding it, and so I walk away with my pride intact, escaping another close call with the boner police
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Jack Bauer
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Panther Valley, NJ
Posts: 4
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LOL.
One time in college I was playing a pick-up game of basketball and a young lady was posting up on me, and lets just say that were hiney was going into my happy zone.
So i tried everything not to get a boner. It didn't work. I got one. In basketball shorts.....
Lets just say that a handful of my friends, to this day, still talk about it.....
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kmind
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Not Giving In
Posts: 4,240
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This thread already delivers. I can't think of many embarrassing instances but in high school I hated getting them right when the bell rang. I always had to drop something or pretend to tie my shoes (and mess up like 3 times) in order to be safe.
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Deanglow
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: lol
Posts: 2,443
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When I was in 6th grade I would hang out with a bunch of highschoolers because my best friend's brother was 4 years older than us. Well one day this 17 year old girl thinks I'm cute and stuff and I'm laying down on the couch. She lays down directly in front me (spoon style), and out of complete instinct I make an awkward move and lay down flat on my stomach to hide my boner. Everyone notices and proceeds to laugh. Girl gets up and my 12 year old soul is shattered. I still hear about it to this day.
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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this is going to be one of those "how the hell didn't you get one" stories. in high school i was small and on the wrestling team, i wrestled 103 - 112 lb weight class. well there was this one incredibly good looking girl (like totally smoking) that i had to wrestle 5-6 times. i wasn't trying to be a perv or anything, but i mean it's hard not to be touchy feely... plus a wrestling singlet doesn't leave much to the imagination. i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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grnydrowave2
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Showin' mah Pokemans
Posts: 651
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Put a book in front of it.
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<SrslySirius> Hal Lubarsky, my nemesis.
<SaltLick> are you seriously losing to a blind guy
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WildBobAA
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: lol i dunno
Posts: 1,811
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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ban for not posting pics
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Xianti
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: facebook.com/xianti
Posts: 5,289
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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post boner pic
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Tiresman
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Two Pair
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 36
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Xianti
Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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post boner pic |
Now that's creepy 
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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OMG Tiresman your avatar is AMAZING
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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ChrisTheFish
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Huddersfield, England
Posts: 492
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I once got a boner.
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Miffed22001
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Deanglow
When I was in 6th grade I would hang out with a bunch of highschoolers because my best friend's brother was 4 years older than us. Well one day this 17 year old girl thinks I'm cute and stuff and I'm laying down on the couch. She lays down directly in front me (spoon style), and out of complete instinct I make an awkward move and lay down flat on my stomach to hide my boner. Everyone notices and proceeds to laugh. Girl gets up and my 12 year old soul is shattered. I still hear about it to this day.
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i wouldnt have been bothered. you arent gay are you
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miffed22001
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Deanglow
When I was in 6th grade I would hang out with a bunch of highschoolers because my best friend's brother was 4 years older than us. Well one day this 17 year old girl thinks I'm cute and stuff and I'm laying down on the couch. She lays down directly in front me (spoon style), and out of complete instinct I make an awkward move and lay down flat on my stomach to hide my boner. Everyone notices and proceeds to laugh. Girl gets up and my 12 year old soul is shattered. I still hear about it to this day.
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i wouldnt have been bothered. you arent gay are you |
Exactly, "Sorry. Women give me boners."
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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zook
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,676
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildBobAA
Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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ban for not posting pics |
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Alibi
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: St. Paul or DC
Posts: 449
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Evan: Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.
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TrapperAB: you know, I really should have named myself after the mandibles of a homeless person
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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I have no such stories. I can control my junk. If I were in the X-Men, this would be my mutant power.
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blackatom
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: The big D
Posts: 11
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Umm... am I the only one that figured out the "boxer tuck" early in my middle school days?? Lots of boners, no embarrasing experiences though.
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Chopper
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4,255
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had one in a basement of a friends. we are having a party, with sega genesis and beer, and in walk some friends....girls, but just friends.
i'm sitting on the sofa with one of the gals, and cant stop thinking about "the boner" and how embarrassing it may be to pop one without having a crush on her (like that mattered...i was young) and the teasing i would get if she said something to everyone. of course, it happens.
however, she says, "do you have a hardon?" it was pretty easy to notice...summertime shorts and all. i say, "no," but turn all red. she says, "bullshit," and reaches down (nonsexually) to prove me a liar. she says, "yeah you do, you liar." you think i was red 30 seconds ago. and she didnt exactly remove her hand right away....just kind of left it there.
long story short, i was drunk and fearless, and my first blowjob happens about an hour and a half later. we start dating, she asks me to her prom, and bing bang boom....no longer a virgin, either.
so, we dont have much to be embarrassed about. chicks dig boners. well, that's been my experience. at least they like them more than when you cant get one. lol.
one embarrassing boner that led to an older high school chick making a man out of me.
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LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.
Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
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TheFaucet
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 21
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chopper
had one in a basement of a friends. we are having a party, with sega genesis and beer, and in walk some friends....girls, but just friends.
i'm sitting on the sofa with one of the gals, and cant stop thinking about "the boner" and how embarrassing it may be to pop one without having a crush on her (like that mattered...i was young) and the teasing i would get if she said something to everyone. of course, it happens.
however, she says, "do you have a hardon?" it was pretty easy to notice...summertime shorts and all. i say, "no," but turn all red. she says, "bullshit," and reaches down (nonsexually) to prove me a liar. she says, "yeah you do, you liar." you think i was red 30 seconds ago. and she didnt exactly remove her hand right away....just kind of left it there.
long story short, i was drunk and fearless, and my first blowjob happens about an hour and a half later. we start dating, she asks me to her prom, and bing bang boom....no longer a virgin, either.
so, we dont have much to be embarrassed about. chicks dig boners. well, that's been my experience. at least they like them more than when you cant get one. lol.
one embarrassing boner that led to an older high school chick making a man out of me.
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can I touch it too?
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Chopper
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4,255
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you are very scary, man.
anecdotal story ruined by homosexual tendencies.
....not that there's anything wrong with that.
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LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.
Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chopper
you are very scary, man.
anecdotal story ruined by homosexual tendencies.
....not that there's anything wrong with that.
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LOL (if its in caps then i really laughed)
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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biondino
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Putney, UK; Full Tilt,Mansion; $50 NL and PL; $13 and $16 SNGs at Stars
Posts: 3,170
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Dude you're called CHOPPER - if that ain't a repressed homosexual freudian slip I don't know what is 
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Chopper
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 4,255
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 you know it, baby (spoken with scotty's accent).
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LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.
Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by givememyleg
this is going to be one of those "how the hell didn't you get one" stories. in high school i was small and on the wrestling team, i wrestled 103 - 112 lb weight class. well there was this one incredibly good looking girl (like totally smoking) that i had to wrestle 5-6 times. i wasn't trying to be a perv or anything, but i mean it's hard not to be touchy feely... plus a wrestling singlet doesn't leave much to the imagination. i'd post her pic but i don't wanna be creepy about it!
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I had a similar experience at 140.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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