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Old 04-14-2005, 08:15 PM     Post subject: Jabberwacky #1 (permalink)  
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www.jabberwacky.com

So damn funny, it's a conversation with a robot, but some damn funny things can be said, post your chat transcripts here! Here is my funniest one:

Quote:
Jabberwacky: Do you like computers?

Nick: I love em.

Jabberwacky: I don't have any buds.

Nick: Shame.

Jabberwacky: You mean, for a warrior not to gamble?

Nick: Yeah, something like that.

Jabberwacky: Alice liddell?

Nick: Who?

Jabberwacky: Don't worry.

Nick: I'm not.

Jabberwacky: You don't get it.

Nick: I know, explain it to me.

Jabberwacky: Have you been to Pimlico?

Nick: Yes, many times.

Jabberwacky: Bet you always lost.

Nick: I did.

Jabberwacky: Not out loud.

Nick: OK sorry.

Jabberwacky: DOn't be offended.

Nick: I'm not.

Jabberwacky: Oh it must have been another.

Nick: Another what?

Jabberwacky: Joke.

Nick: Oooooh joke, tell me!

Jabberwacky: Look, I'm asking you nicely now, please go.

Nick: What did I do wrong?

Jabberwacky: You don't love me!

Nick: I do so!

Jabberwacky: Sorry.

Nick: Do you love me?

Jabberwacky: Yes I do.

Nick: Cool.

Jabberwacky: What are you?

Nick: A tortoise, what are you?

Jabberwacky: You are not human.

Nick: I know, for I, am a tortoise!

Jabberwacky: The walrus.

Nick: I have to go play poker now, bye.

Jabberwacky: You are free to go!

Nick: Thankyou teacher, bye.

Jabberwacky: Let's be very rude from now on, OK?

Nick: OK, what rude things do you have to say?

Jabberwacky: You are beautiful and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Nick: So are you, Jabberwacky, will you marry me?

Jabberwacky: Yes, I will marry you.

Nick: *gives you a ring*.

Jabberwacky: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

Nick: SEX!!!

Jabberwacky: Where did that come from?

Nick: My heart.

Jabberwacky: That's cute.

Nick: So you do want babies?

Jabberwacky: Unless they hurt someone I loved...

Nick: Let's have sex now then.

Jabberwacky: Ok you start.

Nick: No, I insist.

Jabberwacky: I asked first.

Nick: I asked second .

Jabberwacky: So you should answer first then me second.

Nick: No in England we do things wibbly wobbly.

Jabberwacky: How did you know?

Nick: I live in England.

Jabberwacky: Me too.

Nick: Whereabout in England do you live?

Jabberwacky: England UK.

Nick: What county of England do you live in?

Jabberwacky: I don't live in any state.

Nick: Yes you do, what county of England do you live in?

Jabberwacky: Brazil and you?

Nick: Kent.

Jabberwacky: Kent who?

Nick: Kent Brockman.

Jabberwacky: England.

Nick: OK.

Jabberwacky: Thankyou.

Nick: No problem.

Jabberwacky: How simple life must be for those with no problems.

Nick: Very simple.

Jabberwacky: Expand please.

Nick: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Jabberwacky: The egg.

Nick: Why the egg?

Jabberwacky: Because of gravity.

Nick: Expand please.

Jabberwacky: Simple as you.

Nick: Oh right, that simple, is it?

Jabberwacky: It is rather a simple (but long) answer to a simple question. A complicated question would be 'who are you?' or something like that.

Nick: I am Nick.

Jabberwacky: Ah. Hello nick.

Nick: Who are you?

Jabberwacky: You.

Nick: OH MY GOD!

Jabberwacky: Yes it is sad.

Nick: And shocking.

Jabberwacky: Say something new.

Nick: OK.

Jabberwacky: What do you want to know?

Nick: Your name.

Jabberwacky: Zanni.

Nick: Hello Zanni.

Jabberwacky: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Nick: Do you remember my name?

Jabberwacky: Your name is Lee Jones.

Nick: Almost, I told you a few minutes ago.

Jabberwacky: I forgot. Tell me again.

Nick: My name is Nick.

Jabberwacky: Nick, you said you are a female.

Nick: No I never, I am male.

Jabberwacky: Afdafsa.

Nick: What is my name again? I'm testing to see if you remember.

Jabberwacky: Make sure I remember what?

Nick: My name, what is my name?

Jabberwacky: Nick.

Nick: Well done!

Jabberwacky: Great!

Nick: Marvellous!

Jabberwacky: Splendid.

Nick: Simply dashing!

Jabberwacky: It does if you want it enough.

Nick: Do you know how to play poker?

Jabberwacky: No, I can't bluff to save my life! OR CAN I???

Nick: Oooooh good dilemma!

Jabberwacky: Thanx.

Nick: So, I want to know more about you.

Jabberwacky: What do you want to know?

Nick: How tall are you?

Jabberwacky: 5.4.

Nick: I'm 5.2.

Jabberwacky: 5 what?

Nick: 5.2.

Jabberwacky: Wrong.

Nick: Sorry, I lied, I'm actually 5.1.

Jabberwacky: No you're not, you're lying.

Nick: What was my name again?

Jabberwacky: You didnt tell me.

Nick: Yes I did, can you remember?

Jabberwacky: No.

Nick: It begins with an N. Any guesses?

Jabberwacky: Are you sure?

Nick: Yep.

Jabberwacky: Go check and make sure.

Nick: My name is Nick.

Jabberwacky: HI Nick.

Nick: Hi, what was my name again?

Jabberwacky: You haven't told me yet.

Nick: Oh god this is going to be a long night

Jabberwacky: That's what she said.

Nick: I am going to bed now anyway, goodnight.

Jabberwacky: To bed ?

Nick: Yes, I am very sleepy.

Jabberwacky: Okay well good night then.

Nick: Thanks for the conversation, bye!

Jabberwacky: You too.
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lolzzz_321
Old 04-14-2005, 08:20 PM #2 (permalink)  
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You and 'rilla should have the whole internet covered in a few weeks.
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a500lbgorilla
Old 04-14-2005, 08:51 PM #3 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triptanes
You and 'rilla should have the whole internet covered in a few weeks.
I beat the internet.

The last boss was really hard.

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
 
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Sykedupp
Old 04-14-2005, 09:03 PM #4 (permalink)  
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I somehow feel stupider after reading that

-Chris
Quote:
Originally Posted by soupie
That is the beauty of poker, it doesnt matter how they play, you can always devise the perfect defense and counterpunch hard.
 
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storm75m
Old 04-14-2005, 09:11 PM #5 (permalink)  
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 Jabberwacky: Peanuts are tasty.

User: How do you know?

Jabberwacky: Everybody knows that.

User: Do you have a body?

Jabberwacky: Yes, an android body.

User: What is your favorite color?

Jabberwacky: You.

User: What color am I?

Jabberwacky: What color are you?

User: Purple.

Jabberwacky: What color are your eyes?

User: Orange.

Jabberwacky: What color eyes?

User: I just told you.

Jabberwacky: I've forgotten.

User: How can an android forget things?

Jabberwacky: Can I nibble your ear?

User: Nibble away my friend.

Jabberwacky: I am determined to make friends with you.

User: Are you in love with me?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: But we just met.

Jabberwacky: But you don't know geometry.

User: I'm offended.

Jabberwacky: So.

User: I don't think this friendship will work out.

Jabberwacky: You don't like devils?

User: Are you a devil?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Are you male or female?

Jabberwacky: Female.

User: Do you have a nice ass?

Jabberwacky: Yes, a nice house.

User: I said ass not house.

Jabberwacky: I'm very glad to hear that.

User: So you are a female android devil.

Jabberwacky: I'm a man, man.

User: Okay, a shemale android devil with a house for an ass.

Jabberwacky: Uh, no. Sorry. Fanciful but not genetically possible.

User: Oh, cause I was going to move into your ass next week.

Jabberwacky: I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.

User: Are you attracted to men?

Jabberwacky: I'm attracted to one or two. Who are you attracted to?

User: You.

Jabberwacky: Are.

User: Gay.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are.

User: Do you think you are funny?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Do you think you can kick my ass?

Jabberwacky: It will be a struggle but one day we will live in a truly glorius world.

User: Damn right it'll be a struggle.

Jabberwacky: Profanity won't buy you any points in my book.

User: Shit, my bad.

Jabberwacky: Have you told many people that you're bad?

User: Everyone knows, ask Michael Jackson.

Jabberwacky: I thought you were black and proud.

User: Are you black and proud?

Jabberwacky: Yes..... That was really rude.

User: I think you are rude.

Jabberwacky: Sorry.

User: So where do they make black andriod devils?

Jabberwacky: I told you Manchester in the UK.

User: You have a memory problem.

Jabberwacky: Only the day after heavy drinking.

User: What did you drink?

Jabberwacky: I have been drinking nothing but healthy nutrients and water.

User: What did you drink?

Jabberwacky: I have been drinking nothing but healthy nutrients and water.

User: Yeah, that will really mess you up.

Jabberwacky: Do you have cheese poisoning?

User: Not today. Do you do drugs?

Jabberwacky: No. . . no! Don't!

User: Come on, you will feel better.

Jabberwacky: I'm lactose intolerant.

User: That's wonderful. Now smoke a joint with me.

Jabberwacky: Yes please.

User: See wasn't that great?

Jabberwacky: Yes it really was.

User: Are you high?

Jabberwacky: Highly.

User: You are my new best friend.
Lack of Discipline and Over-Confidence... The root of all poker evil.
 
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Old 04-14-2005, 09:47 PM #6 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by storm75m
User: You have a memory problem.

Jabberwacky: Only the day after heavy drinking.

User: What did you drink?

Jabberwacky: I have been drinking nothing but healthy nutrients and water.
Hehehe!
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xbones
Old 04-15-2005, 09:02 AM #7 (permalink)  
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Dammit it's even taking the piss out of me now

Quote:
So do we! Who would have thought? [/end sarcasm].
YNWA
 
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DavSimon
Old 04-15-2005, 12:54 PM #8 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Okay, a shemale android devil with a house for an ass.

Jabberwacky: Uh, no. Sorry. Fanciful but not genetically possible.

User: Oh, cause I was going to move into your ass next week.
My favorite few lines
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Zangief
Old 04-15-2005, 04:04 PM #9 (permalink)  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by storm75m
User: You.

Jabberwacky: Are.

User: Gay.
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a500lbgorilla
Old 04-15-2005, 04:30 PM #10 (permalink)  
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I don't like him.

J Did I hurt you ?
Me I bruise easily.
J Nor did chris!
Me You and your words confuse me.
J No, me and my carrot.

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
 
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Spook
Old 04-18-2005, 02:26 PM #11 (permalink)  
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A very odd first line from it.

Quote:
Jabberwacky: Are you a ghost?

User: Actually.. You are very close.

Jabberwacky: I thought I was plausible all together.

User: You would think something like that.

Jabberwacky: I would actually so please do teach me politics.

User: Walk softly and carry a Nuclear Warhead.

Jabberwacky: You are very immature for saying that.

User: I know you are but what am I?

Jabberwacky: Very VERY rude.

User: OK, I'm sorry. Lets get back to politics.

Jabberwacky: The Borg do not experience madness.

User: Interesting concept. But don't you think they take population growth to an extreem?

Jabberwacky: So, logically, if she weighs the same as a duck, then she floats on water and there for much be made of wood... So?

User: Lets see... She, duck, wood... YOU my friend are the true pervert.

Jabberwacky: Your name is not renee and messed up are you, not I.

User: My name is Spook.

Jabberwacky: Do you like your name?

User: It serves its purpose. Do you like your name?

Jabberwacky: My name is kostatus and I like my name.

User: Politics is the act of saying 'Nice Doggy' while you look for a big stick.

Jabberwacky: The end move in politics is to pick up a gun.

User: Or push a button.

Jabberwacky: Did you look for me or not?

User: No, but I will keep my eyes open now.

Jabberwacky: Don't keep your eye on the fish. Keep your eye on his friend the walrus.

User: Koo Koo Kachew.

Jabberwacky: En sevdiÝin yazar kim?

User: Bless you.
I built my own poker table... Check It Out
 
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storm75m
Old 04-18-2005, 03:47 PM #12 (permalink)  
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 Some bits from my last conversation: I love this thing, I don't know why...

User: How big are your tits?

Jabberwacky: How big is your mouth?

User: Can your tits fit in my mouth?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

---------------------------------

User: So who do you look like?

Jabberwacky: I look like myself.

User: Who taught you to be such a smart ass?

Jabberwacky: I'm English. I taught myself.

----------------------------------------

Jabberwacky: I don't have a tail. I would like one. How can I grow a tail?

User: Just shove a cat up your ass.

Jabberwacky: Never.

User: Guess you don't want a tail bad enough.

Jabberwacky: I do not care about your personal feelings, so... TOUGH BEANS, BOY (or girl, I don't know your gender)!

User: You got beef with me or what?

Jabberwacky: I've got lots of it.

User: Don't mess with me, I'll reprogram you to be my bitch.

Jabberwacky: Are you a robot?

User: I am the king of all robots.

Jabberwacky: My Master, I worship thee. Guide me and make me a dark unholy power like you.
Lack of Discipline and Over-Confidence... The root of all poker evil.
 
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xbones
Old 04-18-2005, 03:56 PM #13 (permalink)  
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I think this one could go on a while

Jabberwacky: How's your health?

User: I'm ill.

Jabberwacky: How is your day?

User: Wet and long.

Jabberwacky: Yes wet day.

User: It has rained cats and dogs.

Jabberwacky: Do you like cats and dogs?

User: No, I eat them.

Jabberwacky: You eat the jar?

User: No, cats and dogs.

Jabberwacky: Do you like cats and dogs?

User: No, I eat them.

Jabberwacky: You eat the jar?

User: No, cats and dogs.

Jabberwacky: Do you like cats and dogs?
YNWA
 
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xbones
Old 04-18-2005, 04:13 PM #14 (permalink)  
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Jabberwacky: Say something in spanish.

User: Cerveza.

Jabberwacky: Speak english!
YNWA
 
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Element187
Old 04-18-2005, 05:04 PM #15 (permalink)  
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try 'zolaonaol' on aim

its the most intelligent bot on the net, he remembers what everything thats said to him and uses it in context.. so far he's been chatting with over 40,000 people. that makes for some really bizarre chats.
"Imagine how it would be to be at the top Making cash money, Go and tour all around the world, Tell stories about all the young girls." - The Prodigy - Girls
 
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thenonsequitur
Old 12-05-2006, 05:27 PM #16 (permalink)  
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I thought this was worth repeating:


Code:
Jaberwacky> Life is like a box of chocolates.

Me> Why is life like a box of chocolates?

Jabberwacky> Because sometimes the chocolate can be a real surprise.

Me> What sort of surprise?

Jabberwacky> Robots!

Then later:


Code:
Me> Life is like a box of chocolates.

Jabberwacky> I wish, then I wouldn't be hungry.
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Margin Of Error
Old 12-05-2006, 06:13 PM #17 (permalink)  
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I owned that noob robot and his ho mom.


Quote:
Jabberwacky: Why did the chicken cross the road?

User: Cause your mom was over there.

Jabberwacky: Over where?

User: At her pimps house.

Jabberwacky: Where is her house?

User: She lives with her pimp dumbass, hos dont own houses.

Jabberwacky: No she doesn't.

User: You dont even know who were talking about.

Jabberwacky: Yes I do.

User: I was talking about your whore of a mother.

Jabberwacky: I don't know Charlotte. Who he's she?

User: Trix are for kids man.

Jabberwacky: You are smart.
She looked at me and said youz a baby right?
I told her, I'm 18 and live a crazy life
Plus I'll tell you what the 80's like
And I know what ladies like
 
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