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wufwugy
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12-23-2009, 02:22 AM
Post subject: ITT wuf explains all the secrets he knows about women
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#1 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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24 Secrets to Romance!
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for p*ssy's and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words f**k you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a jigaboo eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
22. If you are listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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I do all of these things and still can't get laid.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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You have obviously not been providing them with enough jigaboo eyes
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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Maybe my spontaneous punches to the face are too predictable.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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goddamn I wish I could go back in time and do #17, too late we live together!
WHERE IS 21 MAN I FEEL SHORT CHANGED!
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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#25 Grow a massive terrorist beard on your face, girls think guys with facial hair are bad ass, and everyone knows more of a good thing is always better.
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,449
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hi im wufwugy
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bbickes
hi im wufwugy
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um know, I am
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by swiggidy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bbickes
hi im wufwugy
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um know, I am |
wufwugy here. wufwuf to my bitches. Keeps 'em interested, barking like dogs.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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enough messing around
this is actually one of my other accounts(i use this one for trolling and giving myself spades)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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Im surprised wuf has developed some kind of humor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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WillburForce
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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kinda related... how to treat your ex and make her feel bad after she tried to make you feel bad....
I was out with my ex and our child walking in the park last summer.
Some fat bird was lying in a bikini getting a tan and I said along the lines of "erghhhhh girls like that should put it away"
Ex "Whats wrong, been a while since you saw a womans body?"
Me: "No, I just don't wanna see a fat body. Which is why we split up"
She nearly cried. Brilliant. That'll learn her.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by XTR1000
Im surprised wuf has developed some kind of humor
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The internet's a funny place. The alteration of communication platform appears to also alter apparent personalities
Humor is what I do best. No joke. IRL it's easy stuff, but the internet doesn't suite my style well at all.
On top of that, my apparent bookish personality on the forums doesn't carry over that much IRL. It's there, but it takes on an entirely different form.
I didn't type up the OP in case anybody was wondering. Just cut n paste
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,449
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i dont know what you're talking about wuf.
the hi im wufwugy brings endless joy into my life.
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
kinda related... how to treat your ex and make her feel bad after she tried to make you feel bad....
I was out with my ex and our child walking in the park last summer.
Some fat bird was lying in a bikini getting a tan and I said along the lines of "erghhhhh girls like that should put it away"
Ex "Whats wrong, been a while since you saw a womans body?"
Me: "No, I just don't wanna see a fat body. Which is why we split up"
She nearly cried. Brilliant. That'll learn her.
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I lul'd.
My greatest moment was probably after me and my gf split up in my Senior year in HS. She started dating this other guy, but me and her were still doin the dirty, and I told him a couple times about it, but he didn't believe me. So I told him after I fucked her the next time I'd leave the used rubber somewhere and tell him to find it. Next time comes around, I stuff it in her bottom drawer (so gross lol). Two days later he comes to school, sees me, gets all redfaced and his welled up with tears. Probably one of hte best days of my life. Ldo they're still together today.
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by dranger7070
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
kinda related... how to treat your ex and make her feel bad after she tried to make you feel bad....
I was out with my ex and our child walking in the park last summer.
Some fat bird was lying in a bikini getting a tan and I said along the lines of "erghhhhh girls like that should put it away"
Ex "Whats wrong, been a while since you saw a womans body?"
Me: "No, I just don't wanna see a fat body. Which is why we split up"
She nearly cried. Brilliant. That'll learn her.
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I lul'd.
My greatest moment was probably after me and my gf split up in my Senior year in HS. She started dating this other guy, but me and her were still doin the dirty, and I told him a couple times about it, but he didn't believe me. So I told him after I fucked her the next time I'd leave the used rubber somewhere and tell him to find it. Next time comes around, I stuff it in her bottom drawer (so gross lol). Two days later he comes to school, sees me, gets all redfaced and his welled up with tears. Probably one of hte best days of my life. Ldo they're still together today. |
You two are pretty awesome people.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BankItDrew
Quote:
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Originally Posted by dranger7070
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
kinda related... how to treat your ex and make her feel bad after she tried to make you feel bad....
I was out with my ex and our child walking in the park last summer.
Some fat bird was lying in a bikini getting a tan and I said along the lines of "erghhhhh girls like that should put it away"
Ex "Whats wrong, been a while since you saw a womans body?"
Me: "No, I just don't wanna see a fat body. Which is why we split up"
She nearly cried. Brilliant. That'll learn her.
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I lul'd.
My greatest moment was probably after me and my gf split up in my Senior year in HS. She started dating this other guy, but me and her were still doin the dirty, and I told him a couple times about it, but he didn't believe me. So I told him after I fucked her the next time I'd leave the used rubber somewhere and tell him to find it. Next time comes around, I stuff it in her bottom drawer (so gross lol). Two days later he comes to school, sees me, gets all redfaced and his welled up with tears. Probably one of hte best days of my life. Ldo they're still together today. |
You two are pretty awesome people. |
I concur.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bbickes
i dont know what you're talking about wuf.
the hi im wufwugy brings endless joy into my life.
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http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/5869841/
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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hi im wufwugy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Hi im wufwugy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
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LOL
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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LMFAO
this thread is great
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by dranger7070
Quote:
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Originally Posted by WillburForce
kinda related... how to treat your ex and make her feel bad after she tried to make you feel bad....
I was out with my ex and our child walking in the park last summer.
Some fat bird was lying in a bikini getting a tan and I said along the lines of "erghhhhh girls like that should put it away"
Ex "Whats wrong, been a while since you saw a womans body?"
Me: "No, I just don't wanna see a fat body. Which is why we split up"
She nearly cried. Brilliant. That'll learn her.
|
I lul'd.
My greatest moment was probably after me and my gf split up in my Senior year in HS. She started dating this other guy, but me and her were still doin the dirty, and I told him a couple times about it, but he didn't believe me. So I told him after I fucked her the next time I'd leave the used rubber somewhere and tell him to find it. Next time comes around, I stuff it in her bottom drawer (so gross lol). Two days later he comes to school, sees me, gets all redfaced and his welled up with tears. Probably one of hte best days of my life. Ldo they're still together today. |
Next time, just write on the underside of the toilet seat with lipstick. A women will take forever to find it and a man will find it the next time he's there.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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clevar
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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finding condom: omg, she did do it and lied to me about it...also she couldnt come up with an excuse
finding lipstick: omg, he was here! but i still am sure you arnt doing my gf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JKDS
finding condom: omg, she did do it and lied to me about it...also she couldnt come up with an excuse
finding lipstick: omg, he was here! but i still am sure you arnt doing my gf
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haha hit the nail on the head imo
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by dranger7070
Quote:
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Originally Posted by JKDS
finding condom: omg, she did do it and lied to me about it...also she couldnt come up with an excuse
finding lipstick: omg, he was here! but i still am sure you arnt doing my gf
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haha hit the nail on the head imo |
i usually just tell him to suck my cum out of his girly's cunt, but it is probably better than kissing her cuz i go ass to mouth with her also
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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wow tmi
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ensign_lee
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The University of TEXAS at Austin
Posts: 2,237
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Haha I like what this thread has become.
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Halv
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pro crastinator
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: No hindsight for the blind.
Posts: 1,842
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Lipstick thing is kinda cool because she will be wearing toilet seat on her lips and he will be kissing those lips.
atm thing still a tad grosser tho
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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there is sooooo much awesomeness in this thread.
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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