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I started playing poker again...

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  1. #1

    Default I started playing poker again...

    played some hu yesterday and today since I had the days off. I have to say, I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  2. #2
    mrhappy333's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  4. #4
    I just piss on the floor because it's easier?


  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by UG
    I just piss on the cat because it's easier?
    fyp
  6. #6
    bigred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trikflow77
    Quote Originally Posted by UG
    I just piss on the kate because it's easier?
    fyp
    fyp
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigred
    Quote Originally Posted by Trikflow77
    Quote Originally Posted by UG
    I just piss on the floor because it's easier?
    fyp
    fyp
    fyp
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  8. #8
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who has thought about it
  9. #9
    Once I was drunk in my basement and decided to try peeing in an empty grolsch bottle...the ones with the lids you can put back on.

    Well at the time I didn't think I had to piss more than a bottle's worth, but I definitely did (ended up pissing out almost two). Anyway, I passed out and forgot about them. A few days later wifey says "I took your bottles back. I was surprised that you left a few almost full -- I just dumped them out".

    I didn't tell her that she handled my old piss cause I wasn't exactly sure how to explain why I was pissing in bottles.
  10. #10
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    Laundry detergent bottles > *
  11. #11
    will641's Avatar
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    thats a really good idea. ill have to try that. what about pooping though? any innovative way to get around that other than just crapping in your chair, which i already do?
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  12. #12
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    I have peed in a bottle once, when I was in student accomadation we'd all been out and I woke up and had locked my door and couldn't find the key... so I had no way of getting out of my room.

    about 3 hours later I eneded up climbing out of the window - never did find that key...
  13. #13
    Bathroom is 5 feet away, and I play cash tables so it's pretty easy to get away. Still don't think I ever will piss in a bottle for poker. Sitting in traffic trying to get home on a Long weekend may be another problem.
  14. #14
    my bathroom is only a few steps away, but Ill def time out playing hu if I go for it. I dont get whats so strange about peeing in a bottle. Just dispose of them in a timely manner. I also only have one bathroom in my house. So I actually do this occasionally even when Im not playing poker. You know, someones in the shower, and I wake up hungover with an overly full bladder... gotta do what you gotta do..
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    thats a really good idea. ill have to try that. what about pooping though? any innovative way to get around that other than just crapping in your chair, which i already do?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnAviW8Z-x0
  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer
    Well at the time I didn't think I had to piss more than a bottle's worth
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


    Quote Originally Posted by everyone else
    I piss and shit at my computer
    This has got to be -EV
  17. #17
    will641's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    my bathroom is only a few steps away, but Ill def time out playing hu if I go for it. I dont get whats so strange about peeing in a bottle. Just dispose of them in a timely manner. I also only have one bathroom in my house. So I actually do this occasionally even when Im not playing poker. You know, someones in the shower, and I wake up hungover with an overly full bladder... gotta do what you gotta do..
    you could pee out the window onto people walking around on the street?
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  18. #18
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    I piss off my porch sometimes. It's much easier than going upstairs to the bathroom.
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  19. #19
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I dont get whats so strange about peeing in a bottle. Just dispose of them in a timely manner.
    That would be my problem though. I can see it being something I forget about at the end of my session. The g/f wouldn't be too pumped to see them lying around.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  20. #20
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.
    I've never done it.. I think it's a terrible idea.

    hu? sit out and say 'brb wc'.

    6max+? run when nothing imminent is coming up, and if you come back and you miss a hand or two of expectation, who gives a ****.
  21. #21
    chardrian's Avatar
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    I can understand not wanting someone to take a crap when I'm in the shower, but who cares if they take a piss??

    In Guatemala guys would often piss in a plastic bag on the bus and then just throw the bag out the window.
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  22. #22
    will641's Avatar
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.
    I've never done it.. I think it's a terrible idea.

    hu? sit out and say 'brb wc'.

    6max+? run when nothing imminent is coming up, and if you come back and you miss a hand or two of expectation, who gives a ****.
    so you didnt really provide any reason why its a terrible idea. the only thing i gather is you think its socially unacceptable or something.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  23. #23
    I drink lots of water. My bathroom's upstairs. So I really have little choice but to use bottles. I've been toying with the idea of getting a bucket and taping a hose to my dick but I'm afraid the doorbell might ring.
    "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on." (George Bush).
  24. #24
    i have done this many times, and gmml hardly every plays poker. i think it's +ev for sure
  25. #25
    Lukie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.
    I've never done it.. I think it's a terrible idea.

    hu? sit out and say 'brb wc'.

    6max+? run when nothing imminent is coming up, and if you come back and you miss a hand or two of expectation, who gives a ****.
    so you didnt really provide any reason why its a terrible idea. the only thing i gather is you think its socially unacceptable or something.
    You of all people should know that I don't base my decisions or arguments on what is socially acceptable.

    I think it's a terrible idea, for me anyway, because the possibility, however slight, of spillage, drinking it by mistake at a later time, or somebody coming over and seeing it before disposal (I guess social acceptance plays a role here) far outweigh the incredibly small loss of expectation that a quick run can well, expect.

    others may come to a different EV conclusion
  26. #26
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.
    I've never done it.. I think it's a terrible idea.

    hu? sit out and say 'brb wc'.

    6max+? run when nothing imminent is coming up, and if you come back and you miss a hand or two of expectation, who gives a ****.
    so you didnt really provide any reason why its a terrible idea. the only thing i gather is you think its socially unacceptable or something.
    You of all people should know that I don't base my decisions or arguments on what is socially acceptable.

    I think it's a terrible idea, for me anyway, because the possibility, however slight, of spillage, drinking it by mistake at a later time, or somebody coming over and seeing it before disposal (I guess social acceptance plays a role here) far outweigh the incredibly small loss of expectation that a quick run can well, expect.

    others may come to a different EV conclusion
    Seriously, are you a cartoon character?

    Do you not eat bananas because you're afraid you'll slip on the peels later and hurt yourself?


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  27. #27
    mrhappy333's Avatar
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    who here pisses while they are in the shower?
    hmmm, hhmmmmm, who is it?
    3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
  28. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    who here pisses while they are in the shower?
    hmmm, hhmmmmm, who is it?
    Better question: who DOESN'T pee in the shower.

    I've pissed on my wife in the shower before. After she spread her cooch lips & aimed a stream at me.

    Even better question: who pukes in the shower?

    Even better question: who shits in the shower?

    Also: @ drinking it accidentally.
  29. #29
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    who here pisses while they are in the shower?
    hmmm, hhmmmmm, who is it?
    Better question: who DOESN'T pee in the shower.

    I've pissed on my wife in the shower before. After she spread her cooch lips & aimed a stream at me.

    Even better question: who pukes in the shower?

    Even better question: who shits in the shower?

    Also: @ drinking it accidentally.

    you are a pretty disgusting fucker

    marking your territory with golden showers and shit

    ugh nasty
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  30. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
    you are a pretty disgusting fucker
    *picks nose and eats it*

    ...huh?
  31. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
    marking your territory with golden showers and shit
    I don't mark my territory with shit! That's just gross!

    ...and she started it

    Ever seen that episode of survivorman where he pisses in a hole, covers it with plastic & has a cup in the middle to catch the condensation? Yeah I tried that in my backyard just to see what it tasted like.

    Verdict: not to shabby actually
  32. #32
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    aaaahhhhh too much info aaaaaarrrghhh

    now why would you drink your own piss?
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    Cogito ergo sum

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  33. #33
    I was kicking around the idea of peeing in the bottle, so I asked a non poker playing friend if she would think it was weird - she was totally horrified and was of the opinion that I would be forfeiting my very humanity.
  34. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer

    I've pissed on my wife in the shower before. After she spread her cooch lips & aimed a stream at me.
    Funny story. My ex-girlfirend spent the night at my apartment a few months back. I picked her up from a party after getting some drunk booty texts from her. Yada yada yada, I wake up to get ready for work (both of us sleeping in our birthday suits) and before I stood up I feel this warm trickling down my leg. Her drunk ass pissed on me! So I was yelling, cussing, throwing shit, and now I wish I had of taken the dozer retaliation approach and just peed back on that bitch's face! Eye for an eye
  35. #35
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drmcboy
    I was kicking around the idea of peeing in the bottle, so I asked a non poker playing friend if she would think it was weird - she was totally horrified and was of the opinion that I would be forfeiting my very humanity.
    She'd probably be horrified at the idea of you spending $200 on a bluff too though. If you played real poker instead of donkaments that is...


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  36. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Squeaky_Midget1
    Funny story. My ex-girlfirend spent the night at my apartment a few months back. I picked her up from a party after getting some drunk booty texts from her. Yada yada yada, I wake up to get ready for work (both of us sleeping in our birthday suits) and before I stood up I feel this warm trickling down my leg. Her drunk ass pissed on me! So I was yelling, cussing, throwing shit, and now I wish I had of taken the dozer retaliation approach and just peed back on that bitch's face! Eye for an eye
    Hah! Yeah you shoulda.

    When she woke up she's wonder why her crotch was soaked, then she'd wonder why her hair was soaked.

    ...or maybe vice versa. I'm not sure.

    At any rate, retaliation piss is always hilarious.
  37. #37
    will641's Avatar
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    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    I do miss peeing in empty water bottles...
    Who here actually does this? Or has at least tried it? I honestly never have but I never thought it was a bad idea.
    I've never done it.. I think it's a terrible idea.

    hu? sit out and say 'brb wc'.

    6max+? run when nothing imminent is coming up, and if you come back and you miss a hand or two of expectation, who gives a ****.
    so you didnt really provide any reason why its a terrible idea. the only thing i gather is you think its socially unacceptable or something.
    You of all people should know that I don't base my decisions or arguments on what is socially acceptable.

    I think it's a terrible idea, for me anyway, because the possibility, however slight, of spillage, drinking it by mistake at a later time, or somebody coming over and seeing it before disposal (I guess social acceptance plays a role here) far outweigh the incredibly small loss of expectation that a quick run can well, expect.

    others may come to a different EV conclusion
    fair enough. lol at drinking it though. i think even if it slipped your mind you would immediately smell it before taking a sip. also fwiw, i have heard that drinking piss is good for you. im not sure if thats true or not, but its sterile, so hey, it wont kill you .
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  38. #38
    bigred's Avatar
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    can i pee on someone?
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  39. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    thats a really good idea. ill have to try that. what about pooping though? any innovative way to get around that other than just crapping in your chair, which i already do?
    i play on a laptop, so shitting is easy, just put the laptop on your lap ldo.

    although i refuse to piss sitting down, its not natural. so i normally just run to and from the bathroom.
  40. #40
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    lots of urophagian fuckers coming out of the closet here
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  41. #41
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    you know, it took 40+ replies before I could understand why pissing in bottles would be relevant to boost's recent endeavors.

    talk about being slow!
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  42. #42
    bottle pissing can be completely standard
  43. #43

    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Seriously, are you a cartoon character?

    Do you not eat bananas because you're afraid you'll slip on the peels later and hurt yourself?
    lol, awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnord View Post
    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.

    blog: http://donkeybrainspoker.com/


    Watch me stream $200 hyper HU and $100 Spins on Twitch!
  44. #44

    Default Re: I started playing poker again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    I think it's a terrible idea, for me anyway, because the possibility, however slight, of spillage, drinking it by mistake at a later time, or somebody coming over and seeing it before disposal (I guess social acceptance plays a role here) far outweigh the incredibly small loss of expectation that a quick run can well, expect.

    others may come to a different EV conclusion
    I would think that this would be enough reason for anybody, in addition to the fact that using a bottle seems outright strange (I would think that taking a few mins off to go to the actual bathroom wouldn't be that big of a deal).
    [04:18] <+Bbickes> do u has teh agoraphobia?
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  45. #45
    pantherhound's Avatar
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    would using a bedpan be socially acceptable? Since it's used specifically (albeit for ailing people) for this? Furthermore, Risk of spillage is less. I think we now have no reason not to use a bedpan, aside from possible availability issues.
  46. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    thats a really good idea. ill have to try that. what about pooping though? any innovative way to get around that other than just crapping in your chair, which i already do?
    depends undergarments.....


    so ive heard.
  47. #47
    urine is sterile. if you think youll have a problem with spillage then you are clumsy. ive done this more than anybody you know and ive never even come close to spilling. i top that shit off too
  48. #48
    Wait a sec -- you guys actually piss in bottles?
  49. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos
    Quote Originally Posted by drmcboy
    I was kicking around the idea of peeing in the bottle, so I asked a non poker playing friend if she would think it was weird - she was totally horrified and was of the opinion that I would be forfeiting my very humanity.
    She'd probably be horrified at the idea of you spending $200 on a bluff too though. If you played real poker instead of donkaments that is...
    Hey I'm learning PLO cash

    also peeing in bottles while playing cash games is really dumb, this should be a donkament only discussion.
  50. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by drmcboy
    also peeing in bottles while playing cash games is really dumb, this should be a donkament only discussion.
    No way. It sucks to come back from a piss break only to have missed posting the blinds on 1/2 your tables. Slows down the action bigtime.
  51. #51
    At least you guys even have the option. What's my solution?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnord View Post
    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.

    blog: http://donkeybrainspoker.com/


    Watch me stream $200 hyper HU and $100 Spins on Twitch!
  52. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by courtiebee
    At least you guys even have the option. What's my solution?
    undress and stare at yourself in the mirror?
  53. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by courtiebee
    At least you guys even have the option. What's my solution?
    Wait till you're in LP and going to be folding 95% of hands anyway?

    BARELY -EV. Maybe +EV if you're undisciplined in LP
  54. #54
    Oh. I was talking about donkament players, not wimmenz. Yeah...what wufwugy said.
  55. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer
    Quote Originally Posted by drmcboy
    also peeing in bottles while playing cash games is really dumb, this should be a donkament only discussion.
    No way. It sucks to come back from a piss break only to have missed posting the blinds on 1/2 your tables. Slows down the action bigtime.
    wat? Just sit out a round. I have tested this method and I'm confident it's better than peeing in a bottle. You'll probably play better with a break every couple hours anyway.
  56. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by drmcboy
    wat? Just sit out a round.
    Wat? That's crazy talk. I play lotsa FR. rounds are like foreverz...

    Yeah that's right...I'm a poker player with no patience
  57. #57
    my nephew is like 4 1/2... he came in my room the other day and looked at two water bottles that had not be quickly disposed of, "is that pee?" -- "uhh.. no.. its just juice... old juice, its no good anymore, gotta throw it away.."
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.

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