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spoonitnow
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10-22-2008, 04:52 PM
Post subject: How Jesus Can Improve Your Game
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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"What's Villain's range?" -Jesus Christ
If you will answer this question, it will clear up like 75% of stuff you ever have to ask about.
You know how you new guys will have a question about a hand, and you don't really know where to get started? That's where to get started.
That is all.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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kingnat
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 827
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Thank you Jesus!
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So you click their picture and then you get their money?
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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Jesus didn't fold.
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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Don't fuck with the Jesus!
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fat-b
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 117
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where are you jebus. KK+
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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damn!! I usually ask Jesus after the hand.
"Jesus Christ?? What was he thinking?"
"Jesus Christ?? What the hell did I do to deserve that?"
and the most frequent...
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!"
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Lee Jones....uhhh I mean Jesus. I get the feeling he just doesn't like me very much  ...
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Robb
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,072
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LoL nh jyms
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sarbox68
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: wondering where the 3 extra chairs at my 6max table came from
Posts: 871
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WWJD
...for about 30K hands and first month at 6m w/ GrinderSchool it was more along the lines of "What Would Jyms Do".....
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by jyms
damn!! I usually ask Jesus after the hand.
"Jesus Christ?? What was he thinking?"
"Jesus Christ?? What the hell did I do to deserve that?"
and the most frequent...
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!"
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almost the same thing for me
but my favorite
"JESUS FUCKING CUNT CHRIST ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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sarbox68
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: wondering where the 3 extra chairs at my 6max table came from
Posts: 871
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
Quote:
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Originally Posted by jyms
damn!! I usually ask Jesus after the hand.
"Jesus Christ?? What was he thinking?"
"Jesus Christ?? What the hell did I do to deserve that?"
and the most frequent...
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!"
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almost the same thing for me
but my favorite
"JESUS FUCKING CUNT CHRIST ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!" |
... heretoforward to be referenced in posts and IC as JFCCAYFKM 
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bjsaust
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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Shorthand code for "oh my god, how many two outers are these guys going to river against me today?"?
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Just playing to improve.
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bigteif
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3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
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the answer is obviously God or Jesus to his question
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,449
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I pray to Lee Jones, to hell with you guys.
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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I pray to FSM
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Stacks
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by iopq
I pray to FSM
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And FSM = Fucking SheMales?
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JinxT4
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Flush
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 265
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by jyms
damn!! I usually ask Jesus after the hand.
"Jesus Christ?? What was he thinking?"
"Jesus Christ?? What the hell did I do to deserve that?"
and the most frequent...
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!"
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The first two made me lol pretty hard (especially #2). The third one = standard.
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[04:18] <+Bbickes> do u has teh agoraphobia?
[04:18] <+fat> im agressive yes
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al yell
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10-23-2008, 03:35 AM
Post subject: How Jesus Can Improve Your Game
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#18 (permalink)
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 515
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We, uh, copy a surgar's move. Join me.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by XxStacksxX
Quote:
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Originally Posted by iopq
I pray to FSM
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And FSM = Fucking SheMales?
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Never take the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a vain!  
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al yell
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10-23-2008, 04:01 AM
Post subject: How Jesus Can Improve Your Game
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#20 (permalink)
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 515
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We spun him cave ego joys? A rumor!
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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this thread became zero poker content, so i'm moving it.
{from bc}
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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It's goddamn ridiculous that there wasn't a single serious reply to this thread, and people wonder why I've stopped giving a shit about the Beginner's Circle.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Robb
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,072
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I disagree, Spoon. I took it seriously, fwiw. But what replies do you want from us? Either you agree or don't. There's not much to say. Then we noobies can either do it or not.
And the hijacks WERE hilarious.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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I disagree! Jesus can help bring warmth into your heart. Tilt is the tool of the Devil!
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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lolzzz_321
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NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
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Spenda get in this topic and tell us how you f33l.
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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"What Would Jesus Do?"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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lolzzz_321
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NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
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DaddyDeez
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Straight
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: missoula, MT
Posts: 113
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lol stupid
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I post nonconstructive piss
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
It's goddamn ridiculous that there wasn't a single serious reply to this thread, and people wonder why I've stopped giving a shit about the Beginner's Circle.
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Serious questions are for fags ldo. 
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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I think that all christians should be offended and appauled by this nonsense.
all of you should be ashamed for the sins you have commited in this thread!
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Also LOL @ Spoon getting mad because people shit on his thread.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Also LOL @ Spoon getting mad because people bitch about him not posting good stuff in BC anymore but are too fucking sorry to give a fuck when he actually does
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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spoon why dont you poast anything good in BC anymore?
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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yah, ive noticed a big drop off in his content posting. Gotta polish up if you wanna be a mod.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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I don't remember the last time spoon contributed anything positive in the BC
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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wesrman
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Full House
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaf Nation
Posts: 654
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Also LOL @ Spoon getting mad because people bitch about him not posting good stuff in BC anymore but are too fucking sorry to give a fuck when he actually does
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You're missing the irony here. You think its ok when you do it to others, but when they do it to you, it bothers you.
Food for thought???
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
spoon why dont you poast anything good in BC anymore?
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There's no value in it. Why spend time and energy with something for people who don't care when I can have quality one-on-one time with people who do care when my time and energy won't be wasted?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Also LOL @ Spoon getting mad because people bitch about him not posting good stuff in BC anymore but are too fucking sorry to give a fuck when he actually does
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You're missing the irony here. You think its ok when you do it to others, but when they do it to you, it bothers you.
Food for thought??? |
You've kept trying to say this in like every one of my commune threads for the past 2 months like it's some sort of stroke of genius or something. Get a new gimmick?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BankItDrew
I don't remember the last time spoon contributed anything positive in the BC
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He made a good thread once
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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4 spades (commune)
2 spades (BC)
spoon and jesus don't mix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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al yell
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 515
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Not that I'd expect anyone to pay enough attention to notice, but the first two posts I made near the beginning of this thread are nothing short of genius.
Hats off to anyone who succeeds in posting one of their own.
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DaddyDeez
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Straight
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: missoula, MT
Posts: 113
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
4 spades (commune)
2 spades (BC)
spoon and jesus don't mix
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ez 5 if wes would fix some posts & add some sexy pics imo.
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I post nonconstructive piss
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
spoon why dont you poast anything good in BC anymore?
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There's no value in it. Why spend time and energy with something for people who don't care when I can have quality one-on-one time with people who do care when my time and energy won't be wasted? |
and you wanted to be mod of the BC. maybe courties job aint so easy!
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
spoon why dont you poast anything good in BC anymore?
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There's no value in it. Why spend time and energy with something for people who don't care when I can have quality one-on-one time with people who do care when my time and energy won't be wasted? |
and you wanted to be mod of the BC. maybe courties job aint so easy! |
courtiebee I sincerely enjoy talking to you and I think you're probably a good person so don't take this in a bad personal way or something because I mean absolutely nothing against you by this.
It's an easy job when you don't post any strategy and just lock or move an occasional thread. As a mod at least I would have motivation to give a damn outside of making the games harder for everyone.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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actually this is more sad than funny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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Thunder
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England
Posts: 561
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
You're missing the irony here. You think its ok when you do it to others, but when they do it to you, it bothers you.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wesrman
Also LOL @ Spoon getting mad because people bitch about him not posting good stuff in BC anymore but are too fucking sorry to give a fuck when he actually does
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You're missing the irony here. You think its ok when you do it to others, but when they do it to you, it bothers you.
Food for thought??? |
You've kept trying to say this in like every one of my commune threads for the past 2 months like it's some sort of stroke of genius or something. Get a new gimmick? |
[x] stroke of genius
[ ] needs new gimmick
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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al yell
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 515
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alright (sigh). They're anagrams. I rearranged the letters of the thread's title. nh me.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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ohhhhh
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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ssnaapppppppppppppp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by al yell
alright (sigh). They're anagrams. I rearranged the letters of the thread's title. nh me.
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lol, A+ for effort, Fail at getting noticed.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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