Originally Posted by Lucothefish

For those who would like to play in the ftr freerolls, you may have noticed that they are only open to qualified (i.e. respected) ftr members. Here's a quick guide on how to get that respect.

1/ Sign up to ftr only during the week before the freeroll tourney of your chosen site. Signing up outside of these 7 days will get you labelled as a freetroller.
2/ Make a short post introducing yourself in the 'poker tools' section of the forum. Use as little spelling, punctuation and grammar as you possibly can, but certainly include some sage bit of poker wisdom that you have acquired and would like to share. If anyone mentions a presentation, swear at them. For bonus respect points be sure to use the word 'freeroles' every third sentence.
3/ The admins love contributors, so post 6 topics in the beginner's circle asking either a/ wide, sweeping, unanswerable questions like 'is it ok to bet too much' or b/ extremely narrow questions like 'should I have raised KJ on this flop'. Never, EVER include an actual hand history, you'll just piss people off. The acceptable format is to write out your HH as if it were a story, again using as little spelling, punctuation and grammar as possible. If someone is able to actually answer your question, then you may have gone wrong somewhere.
4/ Find the event thread for your chosen freeroll and post in it twice. Once saying that ftr is the baddest mofo of all poker sites in the world and you love it, and a second post saying that you haven't had the password yet and is this a bug? This is the quickest way to get qualified, the mods love it.
5/ Post in the live poker forum about how silly it is that people come to ftr just for the freerolls. Quietly mention that you're not here just for the passwords but if-they-want-to-give-them-to-you-that-would-be-just-lovely. Include a recent tale of poker in the format I've already given.
6/ After these vital steps are included, for even more respect you need to start replying to other people's threads. Never use more than one sentence per reply as you'll be replying to every thread in the BC, so keep it short! Actually giving advice is to be generally avoided, unless shamelessly agreeing with every other poster in the thread.
7/ By now you should have been registered with FTR for at least 4 hours. It's time to start PMing the mods to ask for those passwords! If you don't receive a reply within 5 minutes it's perfectly fine to send another one. Try every mod you can for best results.
8/ Make a post in Sit N Go Tourney tactics asking if getting qualified is linked in any way to post count. Discover that you've just wasted 4 hours of your life because in fact, it is not. Ask what WPP means and accept the first answer given. Call out one of the mods and insult them to fast track you to qualification.
9/ 6 hours of hard work later and you should now have access to the freeroll passwords. Congratulations! If you still don't have the passwords by this point, then it's just those douchebag mods singling you out, so start pm-ing anyone on the forum who has shown you any kindness and ask them if they can tell you the password for this month's freeroll.
10/ If after all this hard work, dedication and commitment to ftr you still don't have the passwords, then you really should stop and ask yourself if you could have done things differently.

Originally Posted by Vinland

12) Write a tear jerking post saying how your english is poor b/c you live in europe, S. America etc...and then ask for the password.

Originally Posted by S1x

Do you know what three strikes is?

Originally Posted by bode

Originally Posted by XxStacksxX

15) Posts in the commune count double towards your post count.

Originally Posted by XxStacksxX

15) Posts in the commune count double towards your post count.

Originally Posted by Bbickes

TOO FUCKING LONG
DID NOT FUCKING READ.

ITT FAIL

Originally Posted by Lucothefish

I've read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy twice and didn't have any problems, but somehow this post is too long for you? Or were you saying that the words themselves were too long for you to understand because you haven't read a book since 'where's waldo' back in preschool? Or is it that your endless hours hunched over a computer screen jacking off to amputee porn has left you too blind to read the screen these days? Or perhaps your prowess in the bedroom led you to become impatient with anything that doesn't deliver satisfaction to you in 8 seconds or less? I'd hate to be the domino's delivery guy when you order a pizza. I'm guessing I could write anything I like at this point in the rant because, that's right, it's too long so you won't read it. I fart in your general direction, you stare at orange juice cartons for hours because it says 'concentrate' on the side of the carton, you have to measure your IQ on a color wheel, etcetera ad infinitum.

Originally Posted by Lucothefish

I'm going to shit my pants and then eat the pants.

Originally Posted by triumphant cracker

15) (b)...post really obviously dumb questions in feedback.

Originally Posted by UnknownFlush

Doesn't matter of this guide, don't feel like to reading but yeah it's going to take quite a bit of time since I doesn't have posts since today.

Originally Posted by Purple_Pwner

got a couple chuckles out of me with that post. Creative