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ilikeaces86
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03-06-2006, 09:21 AM
Post subject: Hilarious story about a high school drop out poker pro.
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#1 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,141
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Disclaimer- I did not write this.
its my senior year and school just got back in session.
i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power.
its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far.
one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world.
to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly.
harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better.
he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future.
i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown.
he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky.
I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa.
I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say.
He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class.
I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party.
i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...=0#Post3240518
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lolzzz_321
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NO YOU
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: My ice is polarized
Posts: 2,797
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lol, link to original or is this part of ur auto bio?
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spino1i
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: 25/50's f'in hard!
Posts: 893
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The original link..
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...0&fpart=1&vc=1
Im not sure I believe it though.. from the same poster:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...0&page=10&vc=1
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BR now: $106900
Playing now: $10/10/20 - $20/40 NL live, $10/20 NL full ring online, $10/20 NL 6-max online, $20/40 FL 6-max online, $100/200 FL live
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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holy shit... that second link is THE funniest thing Ive seen concerning zeejustin.
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metaxy6
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Flush
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 328
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as if the story didn't scream false in the first place (the teacher motioned to the jesus on his desk? the kid slapped a deck of cards down on the desk??), that other post shattered his credibility.
lolz @ "you could easily write an episode of tilt..."
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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dude the second post is fucking godly. The switch from seriousness to down right ridiculous is so fast that you dont even have time to realize its a joke. And its such an elaborate and well done way of simply saying "ZeeJustin is a faggit cheater"
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metaxy6
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Flush
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 328
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eh? i guess. that's a lot of effort at being ridiculous.
which is pretty much how i saw the first post.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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umm.. in my last post I was tlaking about the second thread where he pretends to be a 35 year old man that has had sexual relations with zeejustin, and is also a multiaccounter...
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metaxy6
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Flush
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 328
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exactly. at least you can say the 2nd post had a point.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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LOL OPERATIONS
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
If I ever teach a High School math class I am going to put a picture of David Sklansky on my desk. I don't care what they say about no religion in schools.
PairTheBoard
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
If I ever teach a High School math class I am going to put a picture of David Sklansky on my desk. I don't care what they say about no religion in schools.
PairTheBoard
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lmao
I don't think non 2+2ers are going to get this though...
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa.
I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say.
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