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Reidak
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04-06-2009, 05:34 PM
Post subject: help me fix my english
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#1 (permalink)
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 566
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On a essay I wrote i got hammered a few times for using the 'passive sentence' (or passive voice) and my prof asked me to rephrase them as active constructs.
The invasion of Iraq was initially scheduled to be a short term interception of weapons of mass destruction.
It is important to keep in mind that at this time, policy makers still did not have definitive proof of Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction
It is also possible that close ties between senior Bush administration figures such as Vice President
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Reidak
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 566
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the bold is fail; I put in bold what was underlined on my paper.
<3
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ensign_lee
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The University of TEXAS at Austin
Posts: 2,237
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1) The US invaded Iraq to neutralize weapons of mass destruction suspected to be there.
2) Many people objected, stating that definitive evidence of these weapons did not exist.
3) Indeed, some conspiracists point to close ties between Senior Bush administration figures such as Vice President (you didn't finish this sentence, so I made it as far as I could)
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Me speak good engrish roundeye
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LOL OPERATIONS
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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You ask fol engrish? You get engrish:
The Iraqi invasion was planned as been short-term cutoff of the massive weapon, first.
At present time, as for stopping the fact that it is not the limited evidence of Saddam Hussein which has the still massive weapon.
In the policy authorities person in heart intimate relationship between the senior bush administration which is important seems like the vice-president and in addition as for calculating it is possible.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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according to my brother, colleges are concentration camps
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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writing classes tilt me. the english language is so nitty,
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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passive voice is like,
the ball was thrown by jack,
as opposed to just saying
jack threw the ball.
i failz at engrish though so thats really all i can add..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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Parasurama
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: DMT
Posts: 820
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1. Initially, the US scheduled the invasion of Iraq as a short-term interception of weapons of mass destruction.
2. At this time, policy makers had no definitive proof that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction.
3. I like ensign_lee's edit but uncapitalize "Senior" because that changes the meaning of the sentence. Also maybe take out "conspiracists" unless you actually have some to cite.
For the first sentence, I actually like the passive voice. I know in English classes they teach you never to use it, but in my opinion that's just because people use it too often and incorrectly. In this case, the main topic of the sentence is "the invasion of Iraq," so the passive voice is acceptable or even preferred. In order to appease your professor, though, I suggest you edit it.
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jettrun7
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i speek bad english
so terminare hablando
en español
es mucho mejor
lol speek in spanish
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ensign_lee
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The University of TEXAS at Austin
Posts: 2,237
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What, no thank you?
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