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bigred
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04-24-2007, 12:27 AM
Post subject: A Gift for Lukie
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#1 (permalink)
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Someone finally made a manual for you buddy. Now stories can end in "and I took her home" instead of "she totally wanted me but I decided to leave." No need to thank me buddy.
Penis Manual
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LOL OPERATIONS
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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YES !!!!!
Ladies, Im easily 20% above average. Come and get it.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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ahhh thanks man, how nice of you
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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some of this stuff is surprising
wow
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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This isn't a veiled brag, but doesn't that average penis size seem kind of small?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
This isn't a veiled brag, but doesn't that average penis size seem kind of small?
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Shut up! LoL
I think it's because it's over a sample of all ages?
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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I think most people also over measure their penis in their mind, etc. Galapagos, I may have been drunk but I never forgot a tiny penis like urs.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
This isn't a veiled brag, but doesn't that average penis size seem kind of small?
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haha yah... and then..
Quote:
Farthest medically recorded ejaculation
11.7 inches
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wtf? the goal when youre hitting it from behind is to pull out and try to kick a field goal... I know Ive put 3 points on the scoreboard before, and I havent been fucking midgets...
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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Yea, 11.7 inches? Last time (seems like forever...lol) I rainbowed over the bitches head from behind her. Look on her face was priceless when it hit the wall in front of her.
I really think it's supposed to be 11.7 feet.
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Miffed22001
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!
Posts: 8,181
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Average length and diameter (erect)
5.1 x 1.6 inches
wtf? thats so big!!!!!!! 
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
I think most people also over measure their penis in their mind, etc. Galapagos, I may have been drunk but I never forgot a tiny penis like urs.
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It was all the whiskey! Seriously, that's like never happened before!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miffed22001
Average length and diameter (erect)
5.1 x 1.6 inches
wtf? thats so big!!!!!!! |
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around..
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around..
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maybe college would be good for you?
A circle
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by swiggidy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around..
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maybe college would be good for you?
A circle |
LOL
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LOL OPERATIONS
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by swiggidy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around..
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maybe college would be good for you?
A circle |
LOL |
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
I think most people also over measure their penis in their mind, etc.
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god, QFT.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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Benoso
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 157
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CAUTION!
The testicles need to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature for optimum sperm production. That's why they hang away from the body. Hot baths and tight underwear can depress sperm count and movement.
Really?
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swiggidy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting in the shadows ...
Posts: 3,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Benoso
Really?
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yes, this may be good if you don't want babies
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(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
Average number of ejaculatory spurts
3 to 10
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I just noticed this now. Has anyone ever done 10 spurts??? That's crazy!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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JL
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,095
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Penis owners instruction manual
When intercourse is not possible, consider revving your engine manually.
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I lol'ed 
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by swiggidy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around..
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maybe college would be good for you?
A circle |
LOL |
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lolololoops
still 1inch... average? so there are probably lot of people well below that.. hmm.
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phantom_lord
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 349
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Quote:
Chief ingredient
Fructose sugar
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"sure it's only sugar..." 
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
there are probably lot of people well below that.. hmm.
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it's really quite unfortunate!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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mrhappy333
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hartford, CT
Posts: 1,078
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
Average number of ejaculatory spurts
3 to 10
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I just noticed this now. Has anyone ever done 10 spurts??? That's crazy! |
Try Lecithin supplements. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecithin
Some guy told me about this when I worked at the gym, I took it for like 2 weeks, didn't have sex or wack off for 3 days and Holy Shit!! I swear I coulda put out fires!! My woman thought it was a bit much.
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3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miffed22001
Average length and diameter (erect)
5.1 x 1.6 inches
wtf? thats so big!!!!!!! |
no but really ... 1.6inches diameter? thats like ... way off. A pencil is an inch around.. |
.....
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
there are probably lot of people well below that.. hmm.
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it's really quite unfortunate! |
lolonotforme
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
there are probably lot of people well below that.. hmm.
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it's really quite unfortunate! |
if there was one type of women that wouldn't care about size, i would think it would be asians
no offense or anything, just trying to push some stereotypes
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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oddly a stereotype for asian women is that htey are very deep....
confirm/deny courtie?
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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but its not even totally about that
maybe im way off
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
oddly a stereotype for asian women is that htey are very deep....
confirm/deny courtie?
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I feel like that contradicts the AZN men? agrree?
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LOL OPERATIONS
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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they're all sloots.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gabe
Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
Quote:
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Originally Posted by boostNslide
there are probably lot of people well below that.. hmm.
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it's really quite unfortunate! |
if there was one type of women that wouldn't care about size, i would think it would be asians
no offense or anything, just trying to push some stereotypes |
damnit, you were supposed to wait until I was up so I could say something funny too ahhhh hyachachach
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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uhhh I definitely care about size
there's a reason why I won't date asians anymore
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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Xianti
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Administrator
Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: facebook.com/xianti
Posts: 5,289
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by courtiebee
uhhh I definitely care about size
there's a reason why I won't date asians anymore
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I've got a surprise for you.
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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lol X man!!!
Wouldnt the average tho be brought down alot by asians and such (warning stereotype) and isnt there alot more of that race in the world (warning guessing)?
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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vqc
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,427
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Da GOAT
lol X man!!!
Wouldnt the average tho be brought down alot by asians and such (warning stereotype) and isnt there alot more of that race in the world (warning guessing)?
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yes.
Lots of asian peoples with small penises destroy the average.
Them eastern asianers really fuck with the averages, its annoying.
Thats the reason why i wont date asians anymore.
I just cant feel anything and its getting annoying.
=)
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Da GOAT
lol X man!!!
Wouldnt the average tho be brought down alot by asians and such (warning stereotype) and isnt there alot more of that race in the world (warning guessing)?
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yes.
Lots of asian peoples with small penises destroy the average.
Them eastern asianers really fuck with the averages, its annoying.
Thats the reason why i wont date asians anymore.
I just cant feel anything and its getting annoying.
=) |
just to clear up to the noobs on this forum. CQC is a MAN lol!!!
Heres a funny thought, how many men have actually at a time measured yourself (warning i dont want results)?? I measured once only when i was about i dunno about 14 y/o
LOL and when men hear the average size, dont they all say ''hate to be that size''. are some liars,some must be that or smaller  ?
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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vqc
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,427
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Da GOAT
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Da GOAT
lol X man!!!
Wouldnt the average tho be brought down alot by asians and such (warning stereotype) and isnt there alot more of that race in the world (warning guessing)?
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yes.
Lots of asian peoples with small penises destroy the average.
Them eastern asianers really fuck with the averages, its annoying.
Thats the reason why i wont date asians anymore.
I just cant feel anything and its getting annoying.
=) |
just to clear up to the noobs on this forum. CQC is a MAN lol!!!
Heres a funny thought, how many men have actually at a time measured yourself (warning i dont want results)?? I measured once only when i was about i dunno about 14 y/o
LOL and when men hear the average size, dont they all say ''hate to be that size''. are some liars,some must be that or smaller ? |
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
Id hate to be the average size...
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
Id hate to be the average size...
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below average men were just last in the queue when god was handing out parts.
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
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I'm also a semi-pro body-builder and have never lost a fight in my life as I am very proficient in some form of self-defense that I saw mentioned on tv recently.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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vqc
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,427
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
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I am very proficient in some form of self-defense that I saw mentioned on tv recently. |
Girls GOne Wild Fu?
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
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I'm also a semi-pro body-builder and have never lost a fight in my life as I am very proficient in some form of self-defense that I saw mentioned on tv recently. |
I'm Brad Pitt. I can't go out much because of how famous I am so I socialize with secret poker identities.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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Real penis size means nothing.
It's E-penis that counts.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vqc
everyone on the internets drives a ferrari, has a 10 inch penis, bangs 10's everyday, has a new 10 everyday, and makes AT LEAST 1.5 mill a quarter.
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I'm also a semi-pro body-builder and have never lost a fight in my life as I am very proficient in some form of self-defense that I saw mentioned on tv recently. |
I'm Brad Pitt. I can't go out much because of how famous I am so I socialize with secret poker identities. |
Why don't you ever answer my fan mail?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Stop signing them Hugh G Rection and maybe I'd know where to send them.
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LOL OPERATIONS
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigred
Stop signing them Hugh G Rection and maybe I'd know where to send them.
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I don't. I sign them with a Hugh G Rection.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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