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Bailey
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07-17-2006, 06:43 AM
Post subject: Funny drinking story
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#1 (permalink)
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Alright.. so me and 3 buddies are drinking outside in my yard.. we bought 5 packs of coldshots and a case of budwieser.. Not sure if you guys know what coldshots are.. but its 6% beer in a small can like redbull.. a pack comes with 8 cans.. we started to buy can beer cause we get drunk and smash all the beer bottles in our yard and start to throw them across the street.. and our neighbours hate us already.. not to mention its a bitch to clean up.. anyways.. we drink about 8 cans each.. and we are pretty hammered.. then this one guy gets this idea to go pick up a hooker and get a blowjob and not pay her.. we were like ahh sure.. but im not touching no ugly ass hooker.. so my buddy Kevin was like "k ill stop drinking now and drive u guys"... Kevin is the type of guy that knew it was an absolute horrible idea, but wanted to encourage it cause itll be funny to make fun of whoever didanything with the hooker later.. so anyways.. a few hours later we all get in kevins car and drive to hookervillie.. driving around for about an hour we finally find a hooker... I was in the back seat and was like "ya no way im getting out of the car".. my buddies desmond and duncan get out to talk to her.. Desmond was like
"Are you a man?".. oh btw this whole thing was Desmonds idea.. I think he just wanted tosee who was dumb enough to try to get a blowjob from a hooker.. anyways.. The hooker tells Duncan that she thinks hes better looking then Desmond.. and Duncan is fuckin retarded and actually felt special.. the hooker told us to come back in 45mins and gave duncan her cell phone #... so we get in the car and drive around a bit.. an hour later duncan calls her with my cell phone.. ( *67 that motherfucker).. shes like "come back to my corner and we can hook up"... so we go back there.. duncan gets out to talk to her, and shes like "k come with me to my car and we'll go to a hotel.. but i dont want your friends to follow its kind of creepy"... .. so he comes back to the car and was like "hey guys.. hook me up with a cellphone.". and we were like ahh no... .. me kevin and desmond all had a cellphone and he didnt.. we figured that A) the hooker was going to rob him.. or B) he was going to get beaten to death by some crazy pimp at a hotel when he hadno $ on him.. cause he didnt.. either way we lose our cellphones.. so we were like ya no phone for you sorry.. hes like k whatever.. just make sure u follow her.. so when i dont pay i can run out and get in the car.. we are like ya no problem.. sure thing.. they walk like a block ahead.. get in a car thats parked right on the corner.. they get in.. and turn the corner.. ROFL.. we lost them before we started to follow them
So we were like "hmm.. now what?".. we drove around for about an hour.. waiting for him to call one of our cellphones.. he never did.. during this time desmond flipped off a cab driver, and he started to chase us.. that was rather interesting.. cause we spun out in some gravel parking lot and the cab driver stopped.. then just drove off lol..
Chased us.. caught us.. left us... was very wierd.
Anyways.. eventually we were like.. oh the hookers cell # is on my phone cause Duncan dialed it.. so I hand desmond my phone to call the hooker.. cause i didnt want to talk to that dumb ugly bitch.. and first thing he says is "HES A COP.. LET HIM GO" rooooofl.. it was so funny.. then hes like "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?"... eventually the hooker hangs up.. we call again.. and now hes offering her coke if she lets duncan go rofl.. 3rd time he calls.. hes like "EWWW I CAN HEAR THEM HAVING SEX"... this is close to 2 hours after duncan went with the hooker.. so clearly he was enjoying himself (ewww)... so we just went home.. left him downtown.. with a hooker.. with no money.. no phone.. nada...
Next morning.. at 9am.. my cellphone rings.. Private name.. I dont answer it.. calls about 5 times... then eventually he doesnt *67 it.. and calls with the hookers #.. rofl.. yea I still dont answer it.. I wake up around nooon.. and see his shoes are home.. then a few minutes later... he comes into the kitchen for a drink.. i was like so.. how'd you get home? hes like bus..
Did I mention Duncan was one of my roommate? anyways.. this was on Friday night.. and thats all he said to me since it happened LOL..
Probably pissed that we left him.. but he literally spent the night with a hooker ROFL... like... wwtf.. and he wasnt drunk when he went with her.. it was very fucked up
and using beer cans didnt make cleaning up much easier.. cause apparently before we left to hookervillie we threw them all over the fence into the neighbours yard.. so the next morning i had to go into their yard and pick up like 30 beer cans all over the yard.. suppose its easier then sweeping up broken beer bottles.. but.. i felt wierd in their yard LOL.. would have sucked if they came out :P
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grnydrowave2
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Showin' mah Pokemans
Posts: 651
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I can't believe I just read all that nonsense. This picture sums it up nicely:
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<SrslySirius> Hal Lubarsky, my nemesis.
<SaltLick> are you seriously losing to a blind guy
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Bailey
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hmm.. you are probably right..
Heres the short version
We left our friend downtown with a hooker with no money, no phone, no way to get home.
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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So basically you're Duncan in this story and used that name to cover it up?? You sick mofo.
Discuss?
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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Bailey
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god.. fairy boy is so smart.. but seriously no.. im not duncan!.. id shoot myself.. I have yet to find out how he actually got home and how he escaped the crazy hooker after spending the night with her!
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Bailey
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grnydrowave2.. how did you get dumber when eating lunch? Did lunch consist of something you found on the ground?
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ensign_lee
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The University of TEXAS at Austin
Posts: 2,237
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Better than Lukie's stories. Props.
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Bailey
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At least.. I didn thit a dog with a car.. am I right?.. all I did was leave my friend with a hooker with no way to get home..
Thats right Greed.. I am turning my shitty thread on you!
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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Me and my friend left our friend in Chicago once but there were no hookers involved making the story -EV. (We live in Michigan).
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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Bailey
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ROOOOOOOOOFL.. thats still vn..
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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Hey are you just refreshing the forum index like I am right now and seeing when the spade icon turns brown meaning new post? We rock.
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Get your own badge! Click profile at the top and FTR Badge from the left nav.
"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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midas06
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: NZ
Posts: 2,196
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how did he get away wihtout paying?
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Bailey
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I sure am..LOL.. you know whats even funnier.. I made fun of that guy that said he was browsing FTR at 2am LOL
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Drinking stories are a difficult monster. Almost every single one is beyond hilarious to those involved and close friends but becomes a real "you had to be there" story for anyone else.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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