Originally Posted by JT

I had a roommate that I hated my freshman year of college. He just played the same three Dave Matthews songs 14 hours a day. I pissed in his shampoo bottle a couple tablespoons when it was fairly full so he wouldn't realize the change in its consistency.

Originally Posted by WildBobAA

wtf is this

Originally Posted by FR

I am 26 years old and boinking a 40 year old married MILF several times a week.

Originally Posted by zook

such a good idea

triptan3s

Originally Posted by Lukie

lukie theorem

Originally Posted by S

I am a pedophile.

A few weeks ago me and my buddies go on vacation Ocean City, Maryland. My friend, Rob's family was vacationing there as well. Rob has a cousin who is devastatingly fine. DD boobies, 5'1", tightest body you'll ever see. Only problem is that she looks 16. This is only a problem because I am 21 and God likes to really challenge me. Anyway, we end up drinking one night and she props her legs on mine very casually and stares right at me. I just ignore it because I don't know what to do or what I want to do. We eventually scram downtown for the night and I get pretty drunk and am trying desperately to find a chick to BONE. But fail.

A few days later - 2nd to last day of the trip - We meet up at Robs place for all you can eat crabs with his family for lunch. I sit across from Rob's Cousin (RC). It's at this meal that I discover that RC is 17 and I was willing to believe it. We talked for the whole meal it seems like and she was a very cool person. She kinda whiffed on similar interests though, as we shared none it seemed except for the ocean. I just love to swim in it and boogie board. I could stay in the water for 2 hours straight easily and RC agrees. After the meal, Rob's family says they're heading down to the beach and my other friends are all heading back to the apartment, one of them wants to go see that new Die Hard movie and that's not something I'm interested in. I ended up tagging along with Rob to the beach since everyone now knows I love the water.

So me, Rob and RC are in the water and Rob, god bless his soul, suggests we try to spring-board RC over the waves (which were pretty tame). This now gives RC reason to latch right onto me while we wait to throw her over a wave that probably isn't coming. We stay like this and just chat and Rob doesn't seem to mind at all that RC is basically being held in my arms. After about 20 minutes, Rob decides to head in to dry off and throw the football. I tell him I'll follow but I'm waiting out these waves.

While out there, RC starts to complain about sand in her bottoms. I throw a line like "Well, I'd help you but there are laws against that kind of thing!" jokingly. She smiles and swims a bit deeper out to sea, I follow her. We swim out to where she can't touch bottom (she's 5'1 and I'm 5'10"). When she stops and goes under the water and comes back up and says "No one can see through this water out here." and makes it apparent that she's taken her bottoms off.

I'm not going any further into this episode, but I will say that I fingered my friend's, underage cousin in the ocean.

On the last day of the trip, I spent basically all day texting with RC when Rob drops me a line basically joking around about me and RC and how she's super jail bait and 13 years old!!!! So I immediately txt RC about this and she doesn't respond. I txt her again 15 mins later about how we'll talk tomorrow she responds later that day "sorry." So the next day we we're heading home and would be back in Philly in just a few hours. When I got home I txted her my aim screenname and waited. Later that night, she IMs me and does one of those direct connections where you know someone is linking you to a webcam or sending you naked photos. It was the naked photos, I didn't delete them right away because child-porn ain't no thang to a pedo. I did delete them like 2 days later so no asking for naked pix. And don't ask for non-naked pix because it's work to shade out her face and I'm not leaving any opening for this to pop up again.

CLiFF NOTES: Am pedophile, fingered 13/f/ocean city, super fine body, and then was sent child-porn.

Originally Posted by zook

such a bad idea

Originally Posted by F.R.

I committed a borderline pedo act too. It's weird how I feel not so guilty after reading that last one.

When I was 18 a friend of mine had a party. Everyone had either left to get home by their curfews or were passed out somewhere. I could not find a place to sleep and I was not drunk enough to pass out on the floor. I went to his little brother's room, who was probably 12 13 or 14. I had met him before and talked to him several times. He was really cute and somewhat feminine. He had mingled some at the party but he had not drank anything and had gone to bed much earlier. I woke him up when I opened the door. I took off my jeans and shirt and jumped into the bed like it was mine. He was laughing somewhat and I started joking around with him about how I was going to sleep there. He didn't really care too much I think but besides we were having fun kidding around. We were both down to our boxers but he also had a T shirt on. I made some jokes about how I get hard when I'm sleeping so he better not roll over if he didn't want to make contact. There was an awkward silence and then he made another joke about it (thank God he didn't freak out), I pushed him playfully with one of my hands, he grabbed my hand while making some other joke that slips my mind and put it on his crotch. It was a such a huge rush. I'll spare the details and just say we both sucked each other's dicks, and then I fell asleep during naked spooning. I have never seen him again because his brother (my friend) moved to a different state after high school so I had no way of keeping touch.

I don't consider myself gay and that was the only time I've ever done anything homo. I do fantasize about younger boys but couldn't see myself after molesting or raping one. I have had sex with a few girls too but those stories aren't as good.

PS I am going to masturbate thinking about it now

Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

LOL

"


Meghan, I love you. i've loved you since the day i met you. Even if it was online.. that day, i knew.

I've been slightly man whoring these past months, and am now with a girlfriend. shes beautiful, rather famous, and has achived so much.

Yet i still think of Meghan every day of my life. Shes everything.. shes my night time, my star light, my moonshine.. Shes having a rough time right now.. i help her as much as i can but this distance isnt allowing much. I need to be close to her, but she barely lets anyone close.

Shes let me closer then anyone else... We've shared alot. shes helped me so much, i care for her dearly.

Meghan.. if you see this. I love you with all my heart and soul. and i wish that one day i can be your starlight in this dark world.

I love you.

Your Paladin. "

From that group hug website

Originally Posted by WildBobAA

does anyone else think triptanes is a fatass?

Originally Posted by Triptanes

ya i am fat yo

Originally Posted by flomo

what is left
rape , incest, murder

Originally Posted by Lukie

i have a confession

i created the lukie theorem, which states that if something makes its rounds on 2p2, the probability that it will be posted on FTR approaches 1 over time, because i wanted to have a theorem named after me like zeebo cts aejones etc. the idea for the name (theorem) comes from, *ahem*, you guessed it, 2+2.

cats out of the bag

Originally Posted by GT

On FTR people think I'm pretty good at poker, but truly I have lost over $12,000 of inheritance from my grandparents.

Originally Posted by GF

My cousin was a bit slow.

I used to make fun of him regularly and once told him that cats love to get kicked. He loved me so he ran around kicking shit out of his cat for like an hour.

When his Mum caught him the cat was a dead, bloody mess and he had blood spattered up both his legs. His Mum decided that he was a danger to his little sister and had him institutionalised.

He didn't adjust well to the institution and few months later managed to crack his skull open running into a wall. This caused him to need a steel plate in his head.

Due to a pretty major error on the surgeons behalf the plate wasnt put in flush against his skull and a fly managed to get under it and lay it's eggs in their. Over the next few months my cousins motor functions deteriorated and his language skills etc became practically nil. When they sent him for a scan they found that there a multitude of maggots feasting on my cousins brain. He obviously died.

I live with the fact that I did this to him every day because I thought it was funny to taunt a spacker. I don't sleep well at night.

Originally Posted by gabe

i feel like sending in one that starts with ' so i was at the gym AND _____' and make it something really repulsive but im lazy

Originally Posted by Triptanes