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spoonitnow
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04-25-2008, 10:19 AM
Post subject: Farting Really Often
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Yeah yeah yeah, I fart a lot, el oh el etc.
So anyway, are guys supposed to fart like multiple times an hour, all day? I seriously have gas like all the fucking time. Most of the time it doesn't stink or have any noticeable smell to it. My diet consists of mostly water, apple juice, orange juice, occasional Mountain Dew, beef, turkey, ham, pork, bread, cheese and potatoes with the odd vegetable here and there. Everything else about what comes out of my butt seems normal.
What seems kind of weird is that I've had this problem(?) as long as I can remember, and my typical diet has changed a lot of times.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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in before the ban
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here? 
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kmind
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Not Giving In
Posts: 4,240
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thinly veiled brag imo
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ragnar4
in before the ban
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That's what I said about your mom. Zing.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kmind
thinly veiled brag imo
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lol, but it's starting to become a problem
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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get a gay to plug the leak
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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jyms
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Tilting Mod
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,836
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It's either diet or the way you eat.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Trainer_jyms
It's either diet or the way you eat.
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I thought these were the same thing?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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Da GOAT
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dublin
Posts: 4,308
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all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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Jman: every time the action is to you, it's an opportunity for you to make the perfect play.
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nutsinho
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: flattin ur 4bets, makin u tilt
Posts: 3,280
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all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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My bankroll is the amount of money I would spend or lose before I got a job. It is calculated by adding my net worth to whatever I can borrow.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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I don't get it.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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euphoricism
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Your place or my place
Posts: 3,610
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all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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Irisheyes
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over there
Posts: 3,708
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by euphoricism
all i know is in ireland its legal to shit in the street bcoz you cud die if you hold it in
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Really!? Woah I'm gonna go outside now and drop a turd!
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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spoon i feel you dude. i fart a lot, and shit like 3 times a day. and these arent small shits too, theyre pretty big.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Trainer_jyms
It's either diet or the way you eat.
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I thought these were the same thing? |
depends how fast you eat your foot and how much you chew it.
also stuff like if you're eating a couple big meals or lots of little ones.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Trainer_jyms
It's either diet or the way you eat.
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I thought these were the same thing? |
depends how fast you eat your foot and how much you chew it.
also stuff like if you're eating a couple big meals or lots of little ones. |
Oh, gotcha.
I usually eat 4-5 smallish meals a day, but I think this is mostly a habit I kept from my wrestling days of high school because I don't really do anything active with my diet. I do eat pretty fast, but I chew my food rather well.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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pics?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
pics?
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How do you take a pic of a fart?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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use flour
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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gabe
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: trying to live
Posts: 7,964
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google facts on farts website
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ProZachNation
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Full House
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Over there!
Posts: 801
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Last week two nights in a row I could not stop ripping ass in bed like full huge colon cleaning farts every few minutes for at least an hour. Not as fun as it sounds.
Worst is like in public when you hold it in and get a cramp trying not to rip one.
I feel your pain.
Isn't apple juice a natural laxative?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by mrhappy333
I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
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KoRnholio
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,165
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by badgers
use flour
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Maybe this guy has some competition now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofn8-3SWd8M
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Some days it feels like I've been standing forever, waiting for the bank teller to return so I can cash in all these Sklansky Bucks.
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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try setting them on fire
that might help
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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Maybe you should take shits more often.
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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Sheetah
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Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 278
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqCfVVkT2KI
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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http://www.fart-sounds.net/facts_on_...rt_gas_made_of
holy crap the avg number of farts per day is 14.
Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.
Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for peoples' health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
try setting them on fire
that might help
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according the web site that is actually possible. i do not believe it.
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice.
There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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mrhappy333
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hartford, CT
Posts: 1,078
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too much dark beer IMO
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3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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I don't drink imo
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I don't drink imo
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This sounds like a far more serious problem.
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b-rabbit
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 207
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do you smoke?
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do the right thing.
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Ltrain
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Flush
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Miami, Florida
Posts: 514
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
Quote:
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Originally Posted by flomo
try setting them on fire
that might help
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according the web site that is actually possible. i do not believe it.
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice.
There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon. |
We used to do this in college; it is hilarious. Wear jeans and lie with your back on the floor, butt up so you don't shoot flame back into your colon. Use a lighter.
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"Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Then you are a mile away, and have his shoes." - Anon.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ltrain
We used to do this in college; it is hilarious. Wear jeans and lie with your back on the floor, butt up so you don't shoot flame back into your colon. Use a lighter.
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I, too, have borne witness to this.
Advice: do not keep the vodka/gin/whatever close to where this jackassery will be taking place.
Spoon, people who swallow a lot of air will fart more. Do you chew with your mouth open? Drink out of cans? Both of those can lead to excess farting.
Also, stress can cause farts because it can cause your intestines to move food through faster. Really. Maybe this and the sex post are related if that is stressing you out.
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wufwugy
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04-25-2008, 11:10 PM
Post subject: Re: Farting Really Often
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#34 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
apple juice, orange juice,
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this is clearly a jopke
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I don't drink imo
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This sounds like a far more serious problem. |
Meh, I have legit reasons.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
apple juice, orange juice,
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this is clearly a jopke |
At least 90% of what I drink is water or juices. The other 10% is probably mostly sweet tea when I go out.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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mixchange
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,665
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
spoon i feel you dude. i fart a lot, and shit like 3 times a day. and these arent small shits too, theyre pretty big.
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story of my life
i have never known anyone else that is the same
wow
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I don't drink imo
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This sounds like a far more serious problem. |
Meh, I have legit reasons.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
apple juice, orange juice,
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this is clearly a jopke |
At least 90% of what I drink is water or juices. The other 10% is probably mostly sweet tea when I go out. |
oh i have no doubt that you drink juice a lot, but what i find funny is that you're not thinking thats likely your issue.
i dont understand the low down on the types of fiber and what they do, but im pretty sure that a diet that is mainly juice and meat (all in all no bulky fiber) is gonna cause the gas. maybe supplement psyllium husk. i do simply because i hate constipation more than i hate an ugly woman yelling at me, and i dont seem to come across any digestive issue no matter what i eat.
what it may be is that you're getting too little insoluble fiber and too much soluble fiber.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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getting out of class and into my car where I can relax, turn on the radio, and best of all rip ass as I drive home is such a great feeling. Also leaving a girls house after sleeping over and letting it rip right as you are out of ear shot, equally great.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lukie
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I don't drink imo
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This sounds like a far more serious problem. |
Meh, I have legit reasons.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wufwugy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
apple juice, orange juice,
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this is clearly a jopke |
At least 90% of what I drink is water or juices. The other 10% is probably mostly sweet tea when I go out. |
oh i have no doubt that you drink juice a lot, but what i find funny is that you're not thinking thats likely your issue.
i dont understand the low down on the types of fiber and what they do, but im pretty sure that a diet that is mainly juice and meat (all in all no bulky fiber) is gonna cause the gas. maybe supplement psyllium husk. i do simply because i hate constipation more than i hate an ugly woman yelling at me, and i dont seem to come across any digestive issue no matter what i eat.
what it may be is that you're getting too little insoluble fiber and too much soluble fiber. |
Was never really implying that anything in my diet wasn't causing it.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Kits
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Straight
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 129
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
getting out of class and into my car where I can relax, turn on the radio, and best of all rip ass as I drive home is such a great feeling. Also leaving a girls house after sleeping over and letting it rip right as you are out of ear shot, equally great.
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Awesome. I hear ya brother.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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anyone ever watch the man show when kimmel and adam carolla were on it?
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by boost
getting out of class and into my car where I can relax, turn on the radio, and best of all rip ass as I drive home is such a great feeling. Also leaving a girls house after sleeping over and letting it rip right as you are out of ear shot, equally great.
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And they're so big and just keep coming for like a half hour. Fuck yeah, I love these moments too.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
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Were you never 10? This is the problem with the video game generation, you guys never learned how to entertain yourselves like this.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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Lukie
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: back with a vengeance
Posts: 3,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Galapogos
Quote:
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Originally Posted by will641
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
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Were you never 10? This is the problem with the video game generation, you guys never learned how to entertain yourselves like this. |
even i saw it in dumb in dumber, so i knew it had to be true.
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will641
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: getting my swell on
Posts: 1,610
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its 10 A.M., i have been up for less than 2 hours, and i have already taken 1 good sized shit, and one big shit. i fear for my own life.
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
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