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kardmania
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02-09-2010, 02:21 AM
Post subject: Escaped Convict
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#1 (permalink)
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3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 62
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A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young married couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the home owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain ... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'
His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck - he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong. I love you, too.'
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surviva316
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02-09-2010, 03:23 AM
Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict
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#2 (permalink)
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Confusing people with my liberal biblicisms
Posts: 1,625
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kardmania
the home owner's wife
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i lol'ed at this. the rest is stupid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BooG690
I just wanted to share singing vaginas.  |
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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I disagree...I luhl'd
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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kiwiMark
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02-09-2010, 05:50 AM
Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by surviva316
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kardmania
the home owner's wife
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i lol'ed at this. the rest is stupid |
I lol'd at this once surviva pointed it out.
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boost
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02-09-2010, 06:13 AM
Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict
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#5 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Quote:
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Originally Posted by surviva316
Quote:
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Originally Posted by kardmania
the home owner's wife
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i lol'ed at this. the rest is stupid |
I lol'd at this once surviva pointed it out. |
I lol'd at the joke, then lol'd even harder once surviva pointed it out.
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BankItDrew
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Losing Prop Bets
Posts: 2,789
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The homeowners wife's husband is about to be rapped!
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Girlfriend: Why are the werewolves more important than living life?!
Girlfriend: Are you on the forums doing the werewolves again?
Girlfriend: Soo... you forgot to run that errand, but you had time to werewolf? Wtf?
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,041
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this joke is so unrealistic, people don't own their homes!
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"The Dragon in My Garage" by Carl Sagan
I say onto you, I've felt the dragon! I felt the touch of his tail, the breath of his fire, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the dragon exists!
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emilio1997
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haha lmfao that funny chit
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