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aka_red
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07-22-2008, 12:40 AM
Post subject: Epic FAIL In Progress, WHATS MY PLAY? [PICS!]
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#1 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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okay so basically it was late at night and i was watching a movie and
browsing the interwebs for some funnys. and this is what i come across.

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my email to her mom.
is this for serious?
im 188888888888
"Couple things you gotta know - 1- we are best friends, so be able to deal with that, and know that everything you do, she will talk to me about. 2 - She (nor I) do not like smokers, drug users, or drinkers. ie: we are NOT 420 friendly, and if all you can talk about is how drunk you got at your last party, STOP and move on. 3 - She still has another year of High School cuz I didn't have her start when she was supposed to. If that bugs you, sorry. 4 - You will have to come to the door to pick her up, and our Black Lab will tell us if you are a good person - seriously, he knows!"
is OK with meeeeeeee
brewhahah i spend way to much time on my computing machine
right now i am a professional pokaR player. LOL AMIRITE?
so i spend alot of time on the interwebs playing and browsering.
i go to bcc. to stady biznuss. my engrish bad cuz too much internetsssssssss
but i graduated hiskool at sixteen so lol ahaha.
hi2u.
(i attach 1 picture of my oh so sexayyyy self)
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mams reply
AM serious - but you don't sound it!
Mom
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zilla repsonse
i am SOOOOOOOOOO for serious.
this just my personality i goof around.
and am siLLAyyyyyyyyy.
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mam replys [1/4]
Silly is good, as long as you know when to be serious - she can be that way too!
here are her pics. her name is Andrea, but goes by Andi
Mom
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[2/4]
woops....
here they are


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[3/4]
So, can you show me you can actually spell and type something correctly? Please? She's a smartie but she can't spell well at all, and somebody needs to be able to!!!
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[4/4]
so what is your name ? you haven't said
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zilla reply
My name is John. I won a spelling bee in the fifth grade. In my yearbook I was also voted most likely to succeed.
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mams reply
well you can spell John! (good name, my son's name is John)
cool - tell me more about yourself
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ALRIGHT FTR WHAT IS MY NEXT PLAY?
my ideas were to ditch said daughter somewhere far from home where there is a casino nearby i can run to or take pictures of her crying and post them on the internet all over. and try to get blown before ditching her. i am open to other ideas. and how i should reply to this open ended "tell me more about yourself". keep in mind i still need to get her approval before i can ruin this girls sense of self. oh and for all you trolls there is a poll. lol troll poll. ALSO ON AN EPIC SCALE HOW EPIC WILL THIS BE 1-10?
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Red, you are beyond evil.
You're like the diet coke of evil.
I'm at a loss for words because I'm basking in your glorious awesomeness.
I suggest you play it cool and roll up to the house in a rental car that is hot hot hot. (Bonus if the car was made in italy)
2 rentals, play the silly, funny, balla angle. 1st time rental is to go hang out with her and chill with her and her mom, play the family angle, 2nd time rental (same damn car) is to take her out on a nice date.
Then wtf ditch her.
Or you can just go straight to hell without passing go and collecting 200 bucks.. your call.
Most important. I say you stick with it until you get pics that would go on amature pRon sites.
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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speedcake
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tampa
Posts: 434
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sticky?
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XTR1000
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Location: surfing in a room
Posts: 2,188
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hopefully this ends in a threesome with fat mommy and her fat daughter sandwiching you while having a contest who can eat the most burgers before you nut
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
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yo
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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1. Get and post pics of the mom. If you need a reason say you'd like to know what she'll look like when she's older.
2. Blowjob pics.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Just brainstormed this one to you after a couple of other ideas which I'll note 1 of
1) Just get her to blow you and ditch her and when the cops ask wtfhappened you just say that you guys got in a fight AND she wanted to get out. BUT after she blows you and gets out you have some buddies show up and kidknap her LFDO. But don't like kill her or some shit.
2)THIS ONE IS GREAT. OK OK You drive off to some place then you have your buddies show up and ask you like where the fuck is our money and shit. Ok ok so the girl pisses them off or some shit and they either a)stuff her in the trunk(this one is a bit brutal) or b) tie her up and blindfold her and toss her in the back of their or your car. Then you be all like guys come on man I'll have the money soon or whatever.
After that be like GUYS COME ON PUT THAT SHIT AWAY and BANG BANG BANG fake gunshots! SHE thinks you died. Then they bring the girl to some place and drop her off. Make sure the guys you get take pics or w/e.
Edit: Number 2 may leave girl traumitized for life or get you in lots of trouble. If your going to follow through on this one you need to have a false last name OR actually take a bullet.
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pankfish
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: On Tony Romo's nuts
Posts: 385
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Instant Aces
Just brainstormed this one to you after a couple of other ideas which I'll note 1 of
1) Just get her to blow you and ditch her and when the cops ask wtfhappened you just say that you guys got in a fight AND she wanted to get out. BUT after she blows you and gets out you have some buddies show up and kidknap her LFDO. But don't like kill her or some shit.
2)THIS ONE IS GREAT. OK OK You drive off to some place then you have your buddies show up and ask you like where the fuck is our money and shit. Ok ok so the girl pisses them off or some shit and they either a)stuff her in the trunk(this one is a bit brutal) or b) tie her up and blindfold her and toss her in the back of their or your car. Then you be all like guys come on man I'll have the money soon or whatever.
After that be like GUYS COME ON PUT THAT SHIT AWAY and BANG BANG BANG fake gunshots! SHE thinks you died. Then they bring the girl to some place and drop her off. Make sure the guys you get take pics or w/e.
Edit: Number 2 may leave girl traumitized for life or get you in lots of trouble. If your going to follow through on this one you need to have a false last name OR actually take a bullet.
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I've read this post
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<Staxalax> I want everyone to put my quote in their sigs
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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the yearbook line made me laugh
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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you do realize that if she, or her mother, or they both commit suicide after this level, you may go to prison for e-bullying. right?
Don't be a pussy, take one for the team.
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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pocketfours
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Lighting sweet moneys on fire.
Posts: 2,166
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thread delivers
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thizzSantaCruz
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Full House
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Santa Cruz
Posts: 894
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easy answer to this question. meet her get some dome. end story.
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Flopping quads and boats like its my job
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Maybe this is your other half? omg omg
3)Fall in love, get married, have kids
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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lol epic potential! wp so far zilla
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Get her to get a haircut, plz, ty.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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hahah
nekkid pics or you're banned from ftr
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Also, you're getting levelled on 38C. Maaaaaaybe Bs.
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euphoricism
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Your place or my place
Posts: 3,610
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Take her on a date to Jenny Craig. Post pics.
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ATOTHEC101
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Full House
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,248
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sheeee fatttttt plus averae lookin, tho id pobs srill do her as im rathwr drunnnkkk!
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"This sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catch phrase.
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animal_chin
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Straight
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: On the grind slavin' daily.
Posts: 180
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If she was skinnier she would be banging imo.
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(10:08:39 PM) Bbickes: animal chin is pretty much the balla i wanna be
(10:08:44 PM) Bbickes: drinking every night
(10:08:48 PM) Bbickes: and ballin hard all day
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GatorJH
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: HotLanta
Posts: 3,179
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xtr was the closest here. You need to casually ask, while banging her, if she thinks her mom would do a threesome with you two. I am sure you can take it from there.
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Poker is easy, it's winning at poker that's hard.
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zook
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,676
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I'm not sure who's leveling who here. But either way...
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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edit: fail, spoon already suggested it
damn, that's really a fail then.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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i think you should date her for about 3 months and separate on friendly terms.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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bode
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: slow motion
Posts: 4,270
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try hitting her
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Quote:
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eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
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bigred
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PROFESSIONAL TROLL
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nest of Douchebags
Posts: 2,184
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
i think you should date her for about 3 months and separate on friendly terms.
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lame humor that make fish laugh
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LOL OPERATIONS
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sandstorm
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Flush
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Sweden
Posts: 573
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great opp to lose that virginity, don't miss it
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>3
this is my favourite part of the post
it looks like angry boobs
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Fnord
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I'll Do You Like A Truck
Posts: 19,333
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I can't believe you got a reply to your first email.
Oh and....
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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FUCK YOU SPOILSPORT. THANKS FOR RUINING THIS FOR EVERYONE.
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mams reply
The jig is up asshole. http://www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2/...63.html#724757. You make me sick I hope for your sake you are able to mature. Then maybe you will be able to amount to something. It is pathetic that a loser like you will do this to someone for entertainment. You are scum and will never meet anyone as wonderful as my daughter. We are also reporting you to Craigslist.
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zilla reply
lol.
come awwwwwwwwn mAAM!
ITS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS
I STILL WANT TO GET TO KNOW
YOUR DAUGHTER. PLEASE GIVE
ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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i think we need to proceed to werewolves IRL to lynch the betrayer of the FTR brotherhood.
EDIT: THIS HAST O BE THE WORK OF PANKFISH. HE IS SUCH A GAY. AND A PARTY POOPER. AND HE HATES ME.
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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bigspenda73
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pwnsylvania
Posts: 7,546
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fdjklfdjklafjkldfj
who's the mole????
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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jesus! how did this happen? daughter deserves much better!
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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Lynch dwarfman
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Pythonic
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In S-mart Swallowing Your Soul!
Posts: 586
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WTF, ban whoever busted this up!
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Never bet on a white man in the heavyweight division!
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Galapogos
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Loser's Lounge
Posts: 2,322
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Weak.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sauce123
I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
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Pythonic
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Flush
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In S-mart Swallowing Your Soul!
Posts: 586
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Lynch Pelion
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Never bet on a white man in the heavyweight division!
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sil693
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Full House
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 609
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this truly fucking sucks
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Hawk
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 367
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wow. what a fail.
I want to know who the 2 people who voted for "this is disgusting and wrong i hope you burn in hell." One of them has to be responsible.
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hawkfan79
wow. what a fail.
I want to know who the 2 people who voted for "this is disgusting and wrong i hope you burn in hell." One of them has to be responsible.
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QUOTED FOR SERIALNESS CAN WE GET A MOD TO EXPOSE THESE TREACHEROUS INDIVIDUALS?
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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badgers
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Spewing
Posts: 3,372
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mother is a psychopath imo
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3k post - Return of the blog!
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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What the fuck pankfish
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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pankfish
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: On Tony Romo's nuts
Posts: 385
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baseless accusations imo.
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<Staxalax> I want everyone to put my quote in their sigs
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Hawk
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 367
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by pankfish
baseless accusations imo.
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thats exactly what a wolf would say.
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zook
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,676
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by pankfish
baseless accusations imo.
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sure, but did you do it?
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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Wait, so what you're telling me is: It's not possible, in the world of worlds, that someone stumbled onto this website, saw this post, searched all of craigslist for this listing, and the told craigslist?
Wait, that doesn't make sense!
FU PANKFISH!
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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zook
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,676
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Ragnar's the snitch
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aka_red
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: house
Posts: 903
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by zook
Ragnar's the snitch
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cant has to be the pank
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[11:11] <+bikes> bitches love your face
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kmind
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Not Giving In
Posts: 4,240
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this is fucking bullshit. I'm seriously never speaking to whoever narked you out. That should teach them...
It was a damn good attempt though, gg.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by pankfish
baseless accusations imo.
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Bullshit we have motive, see above posts and previous history.
Why would you ruin one of the funniest threads of late over some bullshit like this?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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pankfish
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: On Tony Romo's nuts
Posts: 385
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I blame google
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<Staxalax> I want everyone to put my quote in their sigs
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Ragnar4
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Billings, Montana
Posts: 1,284
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you wanna know how I'm not the snitch:
My knee jerk reaction is that Zill4 put her e-mail online and we all attempt to be suitors, and blow our cover right away, referencing one of those crazy things we said.
I'll e-mail her first!
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The older I get, the more I start wondering; Just what in the hell is going on here?
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