Ask Fnord

[Fnord]

Hi, I'm Fnord.

You might know me as member #4, the loser with the highest post count, that guy who still plays LHE, beats up fish well below his level or that snarky fuck who gives short replies. I also work for Blizzard on Battle.net.

Post a question here and I might answer it.

[Zee Devee]

I lose because I think too fast. What do you do to focus all of your attention on poker when playing (like putting opp on ranges every hand)?

How old are you?

Who is more of a bitch: gabe or lukie?

[Fnord]

I lose because I think too fast. What do you do to focus all of your attention on poker when playing (like putting opp on ranges every hand)?

Think less about my hand and more about theirs. Play fewer tables (most of my action now is live anyway.) I never was able to get in that 5th table...

When I play live, I try to forget my hole cards when I fold and figure out their hole cards before they show. I also figure out what is the best seat at the table, how good the game is and what seat is most likely to become open next. Finally, I'm working on picking up if the guy to my left likes his hand before I act more often.

A lot of live play is observation while waiting for your turn to play. Big difference from four tabling where the time between serious action is much lower.

How old are you?

30

Who is more of a bitch: gabe or lukie?

Gabe certainly has the more dominant personality of the two.

[jyms]

Hand reading is probably without a doubt the most important part of poker after the basics, hell without basics you could still kill the games if you are a great hand reader. Why is there so little to read and talked about when it comes to hand reading. All anyone ever talks about is preflop stats, aggression stats but never "what do you put him on? Seriously, what matters if you put him on correct and very narrow ranges.

[a500lbgorilla]

If all you have in life is a hammer, does every problem begin to resemble a nail?

[Deanglow]

will starcraft 2 be ballin?

[jyms]

If all you have in life is a hammer, does every problem begin to resemble a nail?

Solid F'n gold!!!

[Fnord]

Hand reading is probably without a doubt the most important part of poker after the basics, hell without basics you could still kill the games if you are a great hand reader. Why is there so little to read and talked about when it comes to hand reading. All anyone ever talks about is preflop stats, aggression stats but never "what do you put him on? Seriously, what matters if you put him on correct and very narrow ranges.

This is the undoing of a lot of players along with tilt and poor game/seat selection.

I ran into a guy a couple nights ago who was obviously self-taught and made terrible techincal mistakes. However, he was really good at being aggressive in the right spots post-flop and had basic hand reading skills. He went on a heater and had around 8 racks worth of chips. It also helped that he ran good against me It's really easy to dismiss a guy like that as an idiot when I 3-bet his A7o with 99 in a kill pot and I lose to a KJ7KJ board on the river. But that's not an accurate way to look at it, particularly when he calls my hand when I checked to him on the river.

[Fnord]

will starcraft 2 be ballin?

I like it.

[Fnord]

If all you have in life is a hammer, does every problem begin to resemble a nail?

Duh!

[Unibomber14]

Why must you mimic X-man's thread?

Do you have a problem with asian's?

Xianti doesn't know karate, do you know karate?

If I make an Ask Unibomber thread, would anyone post?

[Deanglow]

I loved the "why you suck at limit holdem" post but I still don't know why I suck at NL holdem. In all seriousness, is there a list of basic mistakes you would have for NL?

[Fnord]

Why must you mimic X-man's thread?

Are you suggesting that Xianti made this concept up?

Do you have a problem with asian's?

No, I like money too much. Do you play poker on the West Coast?

Xianti doesn't know karate, do you know karate?

No

If I make an Ask Unibomber thread, would anyone post?

Probably, but I doubt you'd break one page.

[Galapogos]

When you were a pro did you just walk away from an earlier programming job and try it out? And why did you quit? I've never been to clear on that part of your history.

[Fnord]

I loved the "why you suck at limit holdem" post but I still don't know why I suck at NL holdem. In all seriousness, is there a list of basic mistakes you would have for NL?

For deepish NLHE, it pretty much comes down to how well you read hands and how willing you are to pull the trigger. NLHE is more of a people game than a card or gambling game.

[Fnord]

When you were a pro did you just walk away from an earlier programming job and try it out? And why did you quit? I've never been to clear on that part of your history.

I left a job at Microsoft where I had roughly risen to my level of incompetence and was surrounded by people smarter or comparable to me because I was in a rock star team (Xbox). At the time, Microsoft wasn't keen on rewarding this. Prior to those last couple years, they threw lots of money at me.

[jyms]

You posted a link to a great article by tommy angelo called "folding" It was linked lately again by Zook I think, any other poker gems in your bookmarks?

[bigspenda73]

why is Triptanes not a thinking person?

[Fnord]

why is Triptanes not a thinking person?

When did you stop beating your wife?
How did you stop drinking in the morning?
Do you suck cock or just wear women's underwear?

[bigred]

I feel like out of all the FTR regulars who have been here the longest, I know you the least. Is it because we're polar opposites, I'm just an idiot, why?

[gabe]

were u sad for a split second when i called your push at the FTR NL game before i turned up jack high v your k high?

[Fnord]

were u sad for a split second when i called your push at the FTR NL game before i turned up jack high v your k high?

Everything went down fast enough and you didn't insta-call so I never got past, "ok, lets see how bad it is." Also, my pain tolerance for money is long past getting in $100 bad.

[Fnord]

I feel like out of all the FTR regulars who have been here the longest, I know you the least. Is it because we're polar opposites, I'm just an idiot, why?

At some point we progress beyond a point where we get much value out of lots of strat posts. It becomes less about cards, more about people and the fucked up little meta-game in your player pool. You see this on lots of forums. I just haven't gotten there yet.

[flomo]

where did you get your education?

[Fnord]

where did you get your education?

http://www.wpi.edu/

BS Comp Sci

[flomo]

are you a new england boy?

i was expecting a cali school

[givememyleg]

will you come hang out in vent more often?
what's your favorite food?
what should i do to become a millionaire?

i'll think of better questions later.

[swiggidy]

Uni, awesome post.

Fnord, are you going to come to Vegas?

[Fnord]

Fnord, are you going to come to Vegas?

I'll be there with the Wife the last weekend in October.

[kmind]

Why'd you choose "Fnord"?

[gabe]

im getting my BS in CS this year. can i post all my CS questions here through the semester?

can you write a paragraph or so about what you think of the future of online pokering?

[Fnord]

are you a new england boy?

Grew up mostly in Michigan (Detroit area), moved to NH/MA area Junior year of High School and you can figure the rest from there. Nifty perspective.

[Fnord]

Why'd you choose "Fnord"?

Google

[swiggidy]

Fnord, are you going to come to Vegas?

I'll be there with the Wife the last weekend in October.

Can we hang out?

Gabe, I can easily answer some questions. Follow your own advice and just start a thread, help will come.

[Fnord]

im getting my BS in CS this year. can i post all my CS questions here through the semester?

Sure

can you write a paragraph or so about what you think of the future of online pokering?

Any game that can be beaten with a tight system is fucked because waiting for hands is a non-issue if you 8-table. Any game that can be beaten by a system is fucked because people will run that system on as many tables as they can at once, but you might do ok if you can level the system. SnGs are already pretty much fucked because they reward the wrong behavior and the rake doesn't scale down as fast as it does in cash games.

When the legal situation in the US gets unfucked the games will get better for a while. If I was planning on making poker a part of my life for many years to come, I would build a roll to play big live games (40/80+ limit, 10/20+NL (depending on action and blinds, it's hard to map the two)) because those will be good forever. People still suck at poker and have even worse control over their emotions/bodies. When good players aren't eating up 4, 8 or 12 tables you get to see a lot more people with more money than judgement.

Anyway, if anything has a chance of holding up through all of the bots and such it's NLHE.

[Fnord]

Can we hang out?

Dinner is on me!

[bigspenda73]

why is Triptanes not a thinking person?

When did you stop beating your wife?
How did you stop drinking in the morning?
Do you suck cock or just wear women's underwear?

I do not understand any of this at all. Guessing these are some comments by Trip before I was around.

[Fnord]

why is Triptanes not a thinking person?

When did you stop beating your wife?
How did you stop drinking in the morning?
Do you suck cock or just wear women's underwear?

I do not understand any of this at all. Guessing these are some comments by Trip before I was around.

I'll let others explain how you got out-trolled.

[bigspenda73]

Um, this is Ask FNORD, not ask everyone else, spill the beans plz.

[IowaSkinsFan]

Why did you choose not to move higher up to the more nosebleedish limits when you clearly have the potential to beat every game out there?

Why don't you post more in my threads?

Best avatar you have seen on FTR?

Best banned poster?

What in your opinion is the most least understood concept in NLHE?

[Fnord]

will you come hang out in vent more often?

I work late PST and usually play at the cardroom or do something with the family if I leave at a reasonable hour.

what's your favorite food?

Linguini De Fruti De Mari (probably misspelled) with a glass of Chianti Classico

Fail that, Sushi.
Fail that, Shellfish

I also enjoy a good Prime Rib from time to time.

what should i do to become a millionaire?

Over how much time?

[IowaSkinsFan]

This is a long post, but IMO I admire your opinion so much I'd like an answer from you.

I think 99.9% of people in the world have absolutely horrible communication skills. I think .01% have decent and .001% are masters at it.
I have my own ideas about communication, I feel like I am decent but still have a lot to work on. However, people tend to clash with me about one POV I have about communication.
This is it: There is no situation where you need to get angry at an adult.
I'll phrase it another way.
To get through to another party, yelling at an adult is never necessary.
(I say adult because I'm not sure that you should never be stern with a kid)

Those are a little different but still are the same type of thing.

Everytime you ever "threaten" someone, and by threaten I mean a lot of things, whether it be telling them they are "wrong", threaten physical violence, yell, even being blunt in some circumstances, or many other things, they will immediately close off there communication channels. They become hurt because you have threatened them or demeaned them, and therefore close off to avoid any more pain. They express this in anger, non receptivity, and many other ways.
Many people come back with the argument "some people just have to be yelled at" or "how are you supposed to get your point through if you don't be blunt with them?" or "You can't just give up on your point, you won't get through to them!"

I don't really have a counterpoint to this. I understand there is a difference between strong behavior and "violent" behavior, and I believe master communicators use strong and non threatening behavior.

Another Philosophy I have is it takes two people to create a problem, not one. There can be Rakshasa's (A Hindu word meaning essentially road blocks that help ones evolution, often misinterpreted as "evil") along the way, but a master communicator can deal with these people.
People also tend to disagree with me on that.

Unfortunately for me, I have mastered the non threatening, but not the strong, and that gets me in a lot of trouble.

I'd like to believe my philosophy is true. Because if it is true, essentially what that means is that you are responsible for everything that ever goes on in your life. What are your thoughts on everything I just said?

[Fnord]

Why did you choose not to move higher up to the more nosebleedish limits when you clearly have the potential to beat every game out there?

Commerce 20/40 is my next stop! I thought about this problem a bunch a couple months ago and decided to focus on live play over online. Next best option was moving further up the NLHE food chain playing 50-75 deep.

Why don't you post more in my threads?

I like to keep up my Signal/Noise ratio.

Best avatar you have seen on FTR?

Triptanes usually has great stuff. Koolmoe's UPS Babe is up there.

Best banned poster?

Doggz

What in your opinion is the most least understood concept in NLHE?

Paying attention to the other players.

[jyms]

You keep talking about "live" play. I have been dying to try it. Apart from the $20 home games and $5 S&G at gatherings, I have never played. would you recommend taking $1K from an online BR to play live, once, twice or more a week. I ask becasue I have this opportunity, and the time since I'm home. I have 3 casinos all within an hour.

And as an aside, any chance of making a new "Fnord's, why you suck at live play" sticky.

[givememyleg]

what should i do to become a millionaire?

Over how much time?

7-10 years.

[TylerK]

Do you think your snarky style helps other posters when you're giving advice? Or is it just fun?

[swiggidy]

Can we hang out?

Dinner is on me!

yay

[lolzzz_321]

hi

[vqc]

Dear Fnord,

Will I have assets amounting to over $1 million by the time I'm 30? 2 Mill? 3 Mill?

Will VQC'sGirl ever leave me?

Now answer the above question without making references to the first question.

Why does everyone love doctors so much?

Assuming that the two were mutually exclusive, would you rather have there be sentient life on other planets (>= to our intelligence) or there be a God.

Shogun v. Forrest

I don't know if you remember this thread, and I doubt 99% of the people here remember it either, but, was I one of the players who was a "small stakes winner"?

What should the first thing I do when I turn 21 be?

Should I buy a sex swing?

Should I buy a video camera or a baller DSLR?

Should I use the two in conjunction?

Should I ask more interesting questions, such as the ones above, after you answer the ones in this post?

bye Fnord.

[Zee Devee]

If you turned 18 tomorrow, freshly starting college, what would you do differently/the same knowing what you do now?

Why don't you change your avatar to represent the team you like most?

Do you like sports? Which ones?

Do you have a wife? kids?

Windows or Mac?

What is a "sex swing"?

Do you read a lot?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Do you make more money playing poker or in your job?

These threads are fun.

[WildBobAA]

any news on Diablo 3?

[mrhappy333]

is 2 pair the nutzz playing Lhe?
T

[vqc]

why is Triptanes not a thinking person?

"Triptanes is a thinking person" - Fnord

"O, ok." - bigspenda

"Sweet" - Fnord.

[Fnord]

You keep talking about "live" play. I have been dying to try it. Apart from the $20 home games and $5 S&G at gatherings, I have never played. would you recommend taking $1K from an online BR to play live, once, twice or more a week. I ask becasue I have this opportunity, and the time since I'm home. I have 3 casinos all within an hour.

1/2 NL or 4/8 limit? Either way it's a fish fry if you can stand to fold for as long as an hour or so when the cards run dry.

And as an aside, any chance of making a new "Fnord's, why you suck at live play" sticky.

Tilt, bordem, quiting decisions and not paying enough attention kill you here.

[Fnord]

what should i do to become a millionaire?

Over how much time?

7-10 years.

Poker + stock market + live below your means.

[Fnord]

Do you think your snarky style helps other posters when you're giving advice? Or is it just fun?

Yes

[Fnord]

Will I have assets amounting to over $1 million by the time I'm 30? 2 Mill? 3 Mill?

Outlook uncertain.

Will VQC'sGirl ever leave me?

If you can make her orgasm consistantly, are able to resolve disputes and trust each other, then probably not.

Now answer the above question without making references to the first question.

Money is just a means to an end.

Why does everyone love doctors so much?

They're rich, smart and usually pretty healthy.

Assuming that the two were mutually exclusive, would you rather have there be sentient life on other planets (>= to our intelligence) or there be a God.

God. I'm with Stephen Hawking on the likely outcome if we ran into another civilization that is more advanced than us.

Shogun v. Forrest

You already called this one. I haven't seen many Shogun fights.

I don't know if you remember this thread, and I doubt 99% of the people here remember it either, but, was I one of the players who was a "small stakes winner"?

You said it yourself that the bots had a better ROI than you.

What should the first thing I do when I turn 21 be?

Take your chick to a strip club.

Should I buy a sex swing?

This is more fun: http://www.liberator.com/products_esse.php

Should I buy a video camera or a baller DSLR?

What's a DSLR?

Should I use the two in conjunction?

Should I ask more interesting questions, such as the ones above, after you answer the ones in this post?

Go for it!

[Fnord]

is 2 pair the nutzz playing Lhe?

Usually, depends on the board.

[Fnord]

If you turned 18 tomorrow, freshly starting college, what would you do differently/the same knowing what you do now?

Nothing. However, if I could go back in time....

Why don't you change your avatar to represent the team you like most?

Hadn't checked that thread yet. Was going to keep the pimp in action for a while.

Do you like sports? Which ones?

Currently, in order:
MMA
Football
Baseball & Hockey

Do you have a wife? kids?

Married, have 2 boys.

Windows or Mac?

I used to work for Microsoft dude.

What is a "sex swing"?

Over-rated.

Do you read a lot?

It depends. I read lots of non-fiction stuff on the web.

Do you believe in ghosts?

No, but my wife does. O.o

Do you make more money playing poker or in your job?

Job

[Fnord]

any news on Diablo 3?

I can't answer that question.

[vqc]

DSLR = Digital Single Lens Reflex Camera

If you had to pick between only exercising your upper body or your lower body which would it be?

USC or UCLA?

Was High School Musical better before or after you found out the chick posed nekkid?

[Silly String]

What is the most profitable style of poker playing under 200NL online?
Please consider number of tables played, win rates, rakeback, etc. excluding development of your skill.

[Miffed22001]

if i played you HU for brs would i win?

do i suck at poker?

why is it whenever anal is discussed in detail in here you suddenly pop up from the dead?

[Lithium]

Since you work for Blizz, it sounds like you must live near Irvine, so:

Why Commerce when Hawaiian Gardens is closer and the food is better?

What are your thoughts on the return/fun of cash games vs. tournaments?

Do you ever come up to the Bay Area to play?

Have you ever felt like a game is dirty/dealer is a mechanic?

[cardsman1992]

Why do LPAs and LPPs kill me, but I can beat TAGGs into the ground all day?

What's the worst tilt-inspired bender you've ever been on? (in terms of buyins)

I asked the same question of Gabe--who amongst regs here do you think has potential to be a really good player?

[Fnord]

if i played you HU for brs would i win?

do i suck at poker?

I'm worse at Heads-up.

[Fnord]

Why Commerce when Hawaiian Gardens is closer and the food is better?

Phad Thai at the Commerce is better. Also, I've been playing a lot of HG 8/16 half kill in the last couple months. Have we run into each other?

What are your thoughts on the return/fun of cash games vs. tournaments?

Tournaments ruin just about everything I enjoy about poker.

Do you ever come up to the Bay Area to play?

I've played at the Bay 101 a couple times.

Have you ever felt like a game is dirty/dealer is a mechanic?

I've felt that way about players before. Never had an issue with a dealer besides being too slow.

[Lukie]

1. Over/Under on how long it takes me to accumulate $3m in net worth? I'm 21 until December and have truly spent far, far more money than I should have by now.

2. Can you hook JaMurda and I up with SC2 beta when it comes out? We have plans of getting a balla mansion, quitting life, playing SC2 all day and becoming tag-team champions. Getting in early on beta would certainly be helpful.

3. Will you give me a HU rematch? Over a year ago we played 200bb deep on play money for $100 and I basically got outplayed and outran. I'd suggest something like best of 3, 300bb deep format. For pride only (unless you want to throw a few bones on it).

[Lithium]

Have we run into each other?

I doubt it. Almost all of my play is up in the Bay Area since I live up here, although I do get down to LA to play every so often. Also, my Hold Em game is $200-$500 NL. The only limit game I play is 7-Stud, which is generally a 4/8 game up here.

[gabe]

what are you going to be doing in 10 years? 25 years? got any cool off the wall goals that we would never guess about you? coolest place youve traveled to (besides vegas obv!!)

[swiggidy]

does it annoy you when people ask 10 questions in one thread? cuz it annoys me

[Xianti]

LOL.... great thread, Brian.


What do you see in FTR's future?
Will you be here as long as FTR is around?
Do you think I'm mean to 3tanes?

[Ash256]

How do you balance money-making and brain food? (Brain food being cool/interesting stuff like esoteric stuff and amateur physics and things like that) How much adjusting and balancing and tweaking and pitching and yawing is necessary to get the two bits in harmony?

[a500lbgorilla]

How do you balance money-making and brain food? (Brain food being cool/interesting stuff like esoteric stuff and amateur physics and things like that) How much adjusting and balancing and tweaking and pitching and yawing is necessary to get the two bits in harmony?

By amateur physics do you mean be taught physics or that you have a firm understanding and you're trying to explore new fields?

[Ash256]

How do you balance money-making and brain food? (Brain food being cool/interesting stuff like esoteric stuff and amateur physics and things like that) How much adjusting and balancing and tweaking and pitching and yawing is necessary to get the two bits in harmony?

By amateur physics do you mean be taught physics or that you have a firm understanding and you're trying to explore new fields?

Neither.. I mean getting a bit tipsy and chatting about dark matter, ways to diss the Big Bang theory, balance within the universe, and anything else incomprehensible that comes to mind.. No knowledge, just throwing some amateur theories down.. Pretty much the same way people talk about sports whilst knowing fuck all about it. ("Man, that manager sucks, he's playing totally the wrong formation")