Operation I Am Not a Grinder

just busted 22nd, definitely gonna take a break tomorrow.

week 2 of this operation has come to an end with little movement. BR is still moving upwards, now hovering around 11.2k with a couple nice bonuses on the way soon.

i also feel like there s a big donkament score looming. can t complain; just wanna keep grinding and playing well.

grinding a few donkaments today - nothing like last week - and struggling with some irrational (although understandable) fear regarding cash play.

the past 12 months were just sooo horrendous for me that no matter how big my edge is, or how big i feel it is, i deal with some serious apprehension, some serious fear every time i sit down for a session. this is magnified when i sit at nl200, even though i m working with a 60 BI roll right now.

if i want to take the most +ev approach, i should be playing tons and tons of nl200 cash but i m just not sure i m mentally ready for a few 5 bi losing sessions. this is clearly weak and paranoid thinking, but it has just happened so often that the animal irrational me still fears it.

i could force myself to play exclusively at nl200 starting RIGHT NOW but i think the approach i ll take is a slow build. i ve been mixing in nl200 sparingly since starting this operation and i would like to be back to playing exclusively at nl200 and plo100 really soon.

this week i ll gun for 2k hands of nl200 by friday and hopefully i can play well, run better and my cherry will be repopped and i ll be back in a fearless mindset where i can play my best, regardless of the variance.

i m also gonna put a lot more effort into a really healthy lifestyle this week in order to be at my 100% at the tables. crossfit tuesday and thursday, light workouts on off days, and eating healthy throughout. gogogo.

"Do what you fear most and you will overcome fear." Don't recall where I heard this but it does play out that way.

Good luck sir

thx harley, hopefully by this time next week i ll be settled back in and comfortable at nl200

played a short cash session and a few donkaments today, lost my only big flip in NL cash and got coolered pretty badly in omaha for a couple buyins but played well and broke even, also broke even in the donkaments.

just sat at 4 tables of NL200, made 350 in about 15 hands, lost some of it and decided to leave and book a 180$ win in 100 hands.

this is irrational but it s a baby step. now i ll go back to nl100 and a bunch of donkaments for the rest of the day and nurture some childish good feelings about nl200 until tomorrow session.

gogo gadget cheeseburger flipper

solid hand 300bb s deep early :

PokerStars Game #52746037265: Tournament #331147861, $20+$2 USD Hold'em No Limit - Level I (5/10) - 2010/11/15 15:04:54 ET
Table '331147861 9' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: danomat (2994 in chips)
Seat 2: jackson18249 (2984 in chips)
Seat 3: glhfiwish (2969 in chips)
Seat 4: Rowniwn (2979 in chips)
Seat 5: Little Kraut (2984 in chips)
Seat 6: msr.s66 (2936 in chips)
Seat 7: vedder66 (3143 in chips)
Seat 8: paulsean2 (2964 in chips)
Seat 9: Genitruc (3047 in chips)
danomat: posts the ante 2
jackson18249: posts the ante 2
glhfiwish: posts the ante 2
Rowniwn: posts the ante 2
Little Kraut: posts the ante 2
msr.s66: posts the ante 2
vedder66: posts the ante 2
paulsean2: posts the ante 2
Genitruc: posts the ante 2
Little Kraut: posts small blind 5
msr.s66: posts big blind 10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Genitruc
vedder66: raises 20 to 30
paulsean2: folds
Genitruc: raises 80 to 110
danomat: folds
jackson18249: folds
glhfiwish: folds
Rowniwn: folds
Little Kraut: folds
msr.s66: calls 100
vedder66: raises 240 to 350
Genitruc: raises 2695 to 3045 and is all-in
msr.s66: folds
vedder66: calls 2695
*** FLOP ***
*** TURN ***
*** RIVER ***
*** SHOW DOWN ***
vedder66: shows
Genitruc: shows (three of a kind, Aces)
vedder66 collected 6223 from pot
Genitruc finished the tournament in 186th place


i m holding an ace, so i gotta figure i at least didn t get 1-outered and am still priced in while drawing live, right?
PokerStars Game #52745939226: Tournament #340010541, $10+$1 USD Omaha Pot Limit - Level II (15/30) - 2010/11/15 15:03:21 ET
Table '340010541 5' 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: R0BtheT0P (10245 in chips)
Seat 2: SticKnee (2940 in chips)
Seat 3: susu saya (2880 in chips)
Seat 4: palo1 (2915 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: Genitruc (3030 in chips)
Seat 6: KAPR!Z (2970 in chips)
KAPR!Z: posts small blind 15
R0BtheT0P: posts big blind 30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Genitruc
SticKnee: calls 30
susu saya: raises 105 to 135
palo1: folds
Genitruc: calls 135
KAPR!Z: folds
R0BtheT0P: folds
SticKnee: calls 105
*** FLOP ***
SticKnee: checks
susu saya: bets 330
Genitruc: raises 1110 to 1440
SticKnee: folds
susu saya: calls 1110
*** TURN ***
susu saya: bets 1305 and is all-in
Genitruc: calls 1305
*** RIVER ***
*** SHOW DOWN ***
susu saya: shows (a flush, Ace high)
Genitruc: shows (three of a kind, Jacks)
susu saya collected 5940 from pot

whiffed all of the donkaments, flopping sets and losing 3 times deep, twice vs gutters that spazzed the flop.

pretty fucking tilted after going deep in a 55$ donkament on PKR, got it in with a decent stack with J9hh on 7h8hJx board vs 99 and chopped, then lost with JJ on KJx to bare AQ, making it 4 gutters that mashed my sets to pieces today.

after being up about 350 initially in the nl200 session the tally for the day is something like -100 on stars and +80 on PKR so pretty much breakeven.

more nl200 tomorrow, maybe i ll play a real, full session there.

1.2k hands of nl200 tomorrow, stop loss at 3 bi if i run badly.

about to fire it up. i m so scared, just like a little kid before a competition or a public speaking ordeal

gahhh

Originally Posted by Genitruc

about to fire it up. i m so scared, just like a little kid before a competition or a public speaking ordeal

just imagine them all naked
you'll be fine

fak just tilt-shut down the session. didn t play a single hand angry because it all happened suddenly and i just stopped :

villain is 40/33 spewtard :

***** Hand History for Game 1519379933 ***** (PKR)
$200.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, November 16, 07:47:04 ET 2010
Table (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 1: F0RCE0FNATURE ( $272.82 USD )
Seat 2: Patatosalatas ( $363.15 USD )
Seat 3: Genitruc ( $243.40 USD )
Seat 4: robburgundy ( $215.65 USD )
Seat 5: domeafavour ( $201.00 USD )
domeafavour posts small blind [$1.00 USD].
F0RCE0FNATURE posts big blind [$2.00 USD].
Dealt to Genitruc
Patatosalatas raises [$7.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$24.00 USD]
robburgundy folds
domeafavour folds
F0RCE0FNATURE folds
Patatosalatas raises [$63.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$219.40 USD]
Patatosalatas calls [$173.40 USD]
Patatosalatas shows
Genitruc shows
** Dealing Flop **
** Dealing Turn **
** Dealing River **
Patatosalatas wins $486.80 USD from main pot


***** Hand History for Game 1519411399 ***** (PKR)
$200.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, November 16, 08:11:25 ET 2010
Table (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 1: Woodstock72 ( $99.60 USD )
Seat 2: onepunch ( $206.05 USD )
Seat 3: Genitruc ( $410.30 USD )
Seat 4: FunnyFred ( $114.95 USD )
Seat 5: hthebomb ( $206.80 USD )
Seat 6: zomgchipriffle ( $207.60 USD )
FunnyFred posts small blind [$1.00 USD].
hthebomb posts big blind [$2.00 USD].
Dealt to Genitruc
zomgchipriffle folds
Woodstock72 calls [$2.00 USD]
onepunch raises [$8.00 USD]
Genitruc calls [$8.00 USD]
FunnyFred folds
hthebomb folds
Woodstock72 folds
** Dealing Flop **
onepunch bets [$14.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$42.00 USD]
onepunch calls [$28.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn **
onepunch checks
Genitruc bets [$360.30 USD]
onepunch calls [$156.05 USD]
Genitruc wins $204.25 USD
onepunch shows
Genitruc shows
** Dealing River **
onepunch wins $414.10 USD from main pot


***** Hand History for Game 1519397910 ***** (PKR)
$100.00 USD PL Omaha - Tuesday, November 16, 08:01:12 ET 2010
Table (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Seat 1: KranK ( $53.28 USD )
Seat 3: paxinos21 ( $168.13 USD )
Seat 4: Genitruc ( $121.10 USD )
Seat 5: ronden ( $100.00 USD )
Seat 6: Patatosalatas ( $120.97 USD )
Patatosalatas posts small blind [$0.50 USD].
KranK posts big blind [$1.00 USD].
Dealt to Genitruc
paxinos21 raises [$3.50 USD]
Genitruc raises [$12.00 USD]
ronden folds
Patatosalatas calls [$11.50 USD]
KranK folds
paxinos21 calls [$8.50 USD]
** Dealing Flop **
Patatosalatas checks
paxinos21 bets [$37.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$109.10 USD]
Patatosalatas folds
paxinos21 calls [$72.10 USD]
paxinos21 shows
Genitruc shows
** Dealing Turn **
** Dealing River **
paxinos21 wins $252.20 USD from main pot


***** Hand History for Game 1519403809 ***** (PKR)
$100.00 USD PL Omaha - Tuesday, November 16, 08:05:53 ET 2010
Table (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: Denolle ( $122.80 USD )
Seat 2: Genitruc ( $107.30 USD )
Seat 3: doubledeuce69 ( $128.12 USD )
Seat 5: Patatosalatas ( $499.95 USD )
Seat 6: StiffmasterStiff ( $101.50 USD )
doubledeuce69 posts small blind [$0.50 USD].
Patatosalatas posts big blind [$1.00 USD].
Dealt to Genitruc
StiffmasterStiff raises [$3.50 USD]
Genitruc raises [$12.00 USD]
doubledeuce69 folds
Patatosalatas calls [$11.00 USD]
StiffmasterStiff raises [$45.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$95.30 USD]
Patatosalatas folds
StiffmasterStiff calls [$53.00 USD]
Genitruc wins $5.80 USD
Genitruc shows
StiffmasterStiff shows
** Dealing Flop **
** Dealing Turn **
** Dealing River **
StiffmasterStiff wins $213.50 USD from main pot


***** Hand History for Game 1519383943 ***** (PKR)
$100.00 USD PL Omaha - Tuesday, November 16, 07:50:11 ET 2010
Table (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: Denolle ( $84.00 USD )
Seat 2: Genitruc ( $170.30 USD )
Seat 3: doubledeuce69 ( $96.00 USD )
Seat 4: gustoman ( $100.00 USD )
Seat 5: Patatosalatas ( $375.95 USD )
Seat 6: chausen ( $164.00 USD )
doubledeuce69 posts small blind [$0.50 USD].
gustoman posts big blind [$1.00 USD].
Dealt to Genitruc
Patatosalatas folds
chausen folds
Denolle folds
Genitruc raises [$3.50 USD]
doubledeuce69 calls [$3.00 USD]
gustoman folds
** Dealing Flop **
doubledeuce69 checks
Genitruc bets [$7.00 USD]
doubledeuce69 raises [$18.00 USD]
Genitruc raises [$55.00 USD]
doubledeuce69 raises [$74.50 USD]
Genitruc calls [$30.50 USD]
Genitruc shows
doubledeuce69 shows
** Dealing Turn **
** Dealing River **
doubledeuce69 wins $190.00 USD from main pot

was on 3 nl200 tables and 3 plo 100 tables. just so annoying because for some reason this loss really gives me a sour taste. totally irrational since i was up a decent a mount before the doomswitch but i worry so much about dropping 6 bi or so really quick at 200.

back grinding later.

glad i played some omaha today!

surprisingly gunned and fired up after my 2nd session, overall - despite running about 850 under ev - i m down a little on the day. think i ll fire up some donkaments in a couple hours and play some of the late night games.

i am strange.

Originally Posted by Genitruc

surprisingly gunned and fired up after my 2nd session, overall - despite running about 850 under ev - i m down a little on the day. think i ll fire up some donkaments in a couple hours and play some of the late night games.

i am strange.

Damn buddy I can't say it because it'll go against the title of your blog!

hah you are right harley. i also laughed a bit when a friend pointed out the irony of me being such a pussy about playing 1-2 and my sig (that is a quote about my play)

played a small session tonight, few donkaments and 4 tables mixed NL and PLO, made about 400 and played great, had a very tough spot that I posted in SHNL, interested in replies.

sick with a cold/flu, just put in a miniscule session, made about 250 in 45 mins, gonna rest.

slept like a log last night, feel much better. was just looking at the lineup of things to play on stars and it looks like the best things going are all satellites to the Canadian COOP that are happening tonight. i think i ll indulge in some non poker-related stuff this afternoon and then get my grind on like crazy tonight, play all the satellites while 6-tabling cash.

gogo gadget haveagoodtimethisafternoonament

reminds me of this song "what a difference a day makes... 24 little hours" -

gentruc pleased you're feeling better

thx slevin

had a good session despite losing 2 90/10s at the end and running QQ into KK 3 handed at NL. made about 500 and also won a seat to the PLO 320$ buyin event for canadian COOP on stars. i m deep in another qualifyer and i m chip leader in the 22$ deepstack tourney on stars.

good times.

boom just shipped another 215$ qualifier and still chip leader w 54 left in the 22$ deepstack, small player pool so only 1.5k for first but any decent payout would be nice

gl man!

215k, 2nd has 155k 20 left

god this is like watching paint dry in slow motion

shipped, 1st was only 1.2k but wtv, 9.5 hrs well spent lol

1st +2k day in a long time (since june i think)

awesome dude, good job, keep it up over the weekend!

just put in a late-night session, games were amazing but i didn t run well at all, made bout 150, playing 3 tourneys plus some cash tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Genitruc

1st +2k day in a long time (since june i think)

Grats! nice work

pretty shitty poker day, whiffed the donkaments getting it in good every time, highlight was TT vs 88 deep in one of those fishy cap tourneys

cash was going ok until i misread my hand for the first time in forever at plo, thought i had 2nd set and a gutter but i only had 2nd pair and a gutter. either way, i was getting it in vs top set so it didn t really change anything (except that i would have save 115bb s lol). at that point figured i was pretty tired so just shut things down and gonna take it easy tonight. down something like 350 overall with cash and donkaments together.

still can t complain about this operation overall : started on nov 1st with an 8.7k br and am now working with about 13.2k. i ve done fine without moving up to 1-2 yet. it wouldn t be a terrible time to move up but i think i ll have to cash some of my roll out at the end of the month so I'll wait to see where I'm at on december 1st and just play sparingly when a great seat is open from now until then.

goals for this week :

-play a lot of plo100 (games have been incredible lately) and clear this bonus i have lingering (3k hands of plo 100 should do the trick)

-crossfit on tues and thursday (being sick this week didn t help things)

-put in some longer sessions at night when the games are great

Good month! How many hands you gotten in so far?

Keep on rollin'!

I keep pondering a site switching and never do it... I need to get on that and stop being addicted to reg-fest stars, just cause if their awesome software.

hmmm maybe 11k hands + a bunch of donkaments

11k hands at like 1/3 the speed of play you d get on stars, so with the boosted winrate and lower variance i can t complain

also, running at 65bbs/100 at plo doesn t hurt lol

this is one of those "what-to-do?" days. haven t taken a full day off in a while now (maybe 10 or 12 days which is a long run for me) and, after a good night in my "private life", i m exhausted.

i m 100% sure i m +ev in the games i d be playing but just not sure about my focus. i lost some yesterday and don t feel like starting a losing streak after the relatively successful first 3 weeks of this operation.

lots of irrational thinking itt... still on the fence.

ended up playing a short session, made 500$ in 500 hands, mainly plo 100. looks like i may be making a full transition to plo if these sick results keep up. so far this month i haven t played much (maybe 4k hands) and i m running at 50bbs/100 lol.

now off to see the new harry potter after a friend twisted my arm (well not really, i would just never go see it if there werent some camaraderie involved).

donked some nl50 to experiment with the games a friend has been paying, dropped 2 buyins, lost cpl flips and value-towned myself hard 1 hand.

tomorrow will be a big fun long grind with about 5 tourneys and hopefully a ton of cash.

awesome to see you're not getting run over by variance this month!

couldn t resist a few hands in the late-night games before dozing off. 250 hands, 250 smackers.

just played a late-night session and i made about 260 in 500 hands or so. i m as proud of this session as any i ve played recently since i was down 400 within the 1st 150 hands playing a terrible spazztard at plo (0/5 in 60/40s and 70/30s) but just kept playing my A game, being patient and letting things unfold.

at one point i was 700$ under EV but a couple full buy-in gifts from late-night fish at NL coupled with the variance coming a little closer to something reasonable and BANG the welcome-to-unstuckoville sign was right in front of me.

so far i m doing well with my 3 goals for the week (crossfit, late night grinding, more plo) and today's another one of those days spent on the fence. i ve had a pretty bad headache (actually more of an everywhere ache) since the workout last night and i m tempted to make this the first rest day in some time.

maybe some donkaments? hmmm. i m so entirely on the fence that i think my nutsack will be split if half if i don t get off it soon.

opted for the slightly low-variance approach to the night: playing a bunch of qualifiers on stars while i watch the Heat come back and ship my bet vs the Magic

heat made it close for a while. meh; they have been such a letdown to watch so far.

just shipppped a 320$ seat to an NL tourney so going well so far tonight.

gahhhhh just made a thin/bad call at the FT of a 5$ hyper turbo with 33, lost as chip leader with 9 left and ended up finishing fking 7th for 215$ or so. still made about 450 on the session so wtv.

getting close to the end of month 1 of this operation. the plan for this weekend is to go play a live tourney with a couple friends and then do nothing sunday at a buddy's cottage. hopefully tonight and friday i can put in decent sessions before the weekend break.

so far results have exceeded expectations; if i can do ok over the last few sessions of the month i have a shot at ecplipsing the 15k mark (I'm at 14.4k right now) for my online roll after starting at 8.7k on nov 1st. this would be awesome and allow me to take a few K offline to start paying down some debts (objective #1 of the operation) without jeoporadizing my ability to grind nl200 if i feel like it.

tonight's plan is to fire up some more qualifiers for CCOOP around 8 and mix in about 4 tables of cash for a few hours. tomorrow will likely be a pure cash grind where i ll be looking to put in maybe 1k-1.5k hands (which is a ton on PKR's software).

holy fuck what a session. i almost tilt-stopped from running so goddamed badly but was skyping with a buddy who asked "are you playing ok?". i thought i was so i stuck with it :

boom it turns out that HEM didn t import hands from a table where i was up about 220 so up almost 400 on the session, such a sick comeback, flirting with 15K now for real.

a non grinder probably would've quit when he was down 7BI


...unless he was a hopeless degen

pot-eh-toe/pot-ah-to?

EV catching up is so sweet haha

glad to hear thigns are going well for you. are you going to be in mtl the weekend of dec 17th? thats the end of my last week of college and was thinking about arranging a trip up there and would love to catch up

shit andy that would be a shitload of fun but i m back in windsor for the holidays at that point.

saw the sick 25k overlay in the CCOOP 320$ event so decided to pay for some of my action and got a big stack early but haven t won a pot since, now nursing my little stack carefully. tried playing some cash but i m physically destroyed after crossfit, played for maybe a half hour and made bout 160.

aaaand as i typed this just busted out of the tourney. fak. AJs into QQ on J67s board after flatting a minraise from BB. meh.

sry that was me who busted u lol, gg and gl.