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Warpe

11-04-2005, 11:38 PM Post subject: Your chance to be God

#1 (permalink)

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Location: Canuckistan

Posts: 3,905

If you could write "The 10 Commandments of Poker", what would they be? This could probably end up sticky worthy.

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Warpe

11-04-2005, 11:54 PM

#2 (permalink)

Moderator

Join Date: Sep 2005

Location: Canuckistan

Posts: 3,905

I think no. 1 should be:

"Thou shalt not draw to an inside straight."

Andy Holt

11-04-2005, 11:59 PM

#3 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Aug 2005

Location: They were suited!

Posts: 336

"Thou shalt not play out of thy bankroll."

ekillian

11-05-2005, 12:01 AM

#4 (permalink)

Straight

Join Date: Apr 2005

Posts: 235

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warpe

I think no. 1 should be:

"Thou shalt not draw to an inside straight."

What if you have 23:1?

http://www.pscrew.com
http://ekillian.blogspot.com/

Andy Holt

11-05-2005, 12:03 AM

#5 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Aug 2005

Location: They were suited!

Posts: 336

Quote:

Originally Posted by ekillian

What if you have 23:1?

Pwned.

Thread hijacked!

a500lbgorilla

11-05-2005, 12:07 AM

#6 (permalink)

JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: This room is a good place to be

Posts: 8,379

Quote:

Originally Posted by ekillian

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warpe

I think no. 1 should be:

"Thou shalt not draw to an inside straight."

What if you have 23:1?

Thou shalt not question they commandments!

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.

ekillian

11-05-2005, 12:20 AM

#7 (permalink)

Straight

Join Date: Apr 2005

Posts: 235

Quote:

Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

Quote:

Originally Posted by ekillian

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warpe

I think no. 1 should be:

"Thou shalt not draw to an inside straight."

What if you have 23:1?

Thou shalt not question they commandments!

-'rilla

They're suggested commandments at this point.

http://www.pscrew.com
http://ekillian.blogspot.com/

Andy Holt

11-05-2005, 12:31 AM

#8 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Aug 2005

Location: They were suited!

Posts: 336

We only have 2 commandments.

Fortune 500

11-05-2005, 12:35 AM

#9 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Bluffalupagus

Posts: 1,261

Thou shalt not let the fish keep his money.

Get your own operations graphic here:
http://operations.talkingapes.com

11-05-2005, 01:01 AM

#10 (permalink)

Guest

Posts: n/a

Thou shalt not give 'Rilla admin priveledges.

ProZachNation

11-05-2005, 01:25 AM

#11 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Aug 2005

Location: Over there!

Posts: 801

Thou shalt not bluff at the calling station.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrhappy333

I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.

_KO_

11-05-2005, 02:22 AM

#12 (permalink)

Join Date: Oct 2005

Posts: 83

Thou shalt covet thy neighbors stack.

~~ KO

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours." ~~ The Messiahs Handbook

AHiltz

11-05-2005, 02:31 AM

#13 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Mar 2005

Location: Coldbrook, NS

Posts: 1,589

I don't believe in God.

I thought we were educated people here???

lamaros

11-05-2005, 04:13 AM

#14 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Jul 2005

Posts: 346

Educated = faithless? Aiee.

sejje

11-05-2005, 04:48 AM

#15 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Mar 2005

Posts: 883

You can still have your chance to be Him.

I don't think any adult believes in Santa Claus, but plenty of adults pretend to be him.

BIGandRICH

11-05-2005, 05:12 AM

#16 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Apr 2005

Location: Jazz Club

Posts: 419

1. thou shalt not play outside bankroll
2. thou shalt not chase on bad odds
3. thou shalt admit ones mistakes in order to improve
4. thou shalt make rational decisions, not emotional decisions
5. thou shalt stop playing when tilted
6. thou shalt not play when tired, sick, or in any state that will affect ones playing capabilty
7. thou shalt let go when beat
8. thou shalt not teach the fish
9. thou shalt not question a mans expierience unless thou wishes to lose money
10. Thou shalt PWN.

and i am so going to hell.

villain goes AI
i call with a set (i have him owned)
i win pot
villain: **** this, this site is bullshit, ******* rigged, suck out ****

Lukie

11-05-2005, 08:24 AM

#17 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: back with a vengeance

Posts: 3,307

There's one I want to point out in particular..

8. thou shalt not teach the fish

They are learning, slowly but surely, no need to accelerate that process..

Thou shalt have fun at thy poker table. Very important..

BIGandRICH

11-05-2005, 08:26 AM

#18 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Apr 2005

Location: Jazz Club

Posts: 419

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lukie

Thou shalt have fun at thy poker table. Very important..

I have that already, its part of "Thou shalt PWN"....

villain goes AI
i call with a set (i have him owned)
i win pot
villain: **** this, this site is bullshit, ******* rigged, suck out ****

AHiltz

11-05-2005, 01:44 PM

#19 (permalink)

4-of-a-Kind

Join Date: Mar 2005

Location: Coldbrook, NS

Posts: 1,589

Quote:

Originally Posted by sejje

You can still have your chance to be Him.

I don't think any adult believes in Santa Claus, but plenty of adults pretend to be him.

Point taken

Miffed22001

11-05-2005, 02:27 PM

#20 (permalink)

Straight Flush

Join Date: Jun 2005

Location: Marry Me Cheryl!!!

Posts: 8,181

1.thou shalt not play outside my role
2.thou shalt not play outside my role
3.thou shalt not play outside my role
4.thou shalt not play outside my role
5.thou shalt not play outside my role
6.thou shalt not play outside my role
7.thou shalt not play outside my role
8.thou shalt not play outside my role
9.thou shalt not play outside my role
10.thou shalt not play outside my role

SmackinYaUp

11-05-2005, 03:35 PM

#21 (permalink)

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Join Date: Dec 2004

Location: B N L

Posts: 1,725

The commandments I would come back down from the mountain with to dispense among the populace:

1. Thou shall play every hand
2. Thou shalt not doubt the luck I have given you.
3. Backdoor runner-runner trips shall be sought by all
4. Thou shalt not withdraw for any reason ever
5. Thou shalt not seek false idols such as Brunson, Sklanksy, Harrington
6. Thou shalt not raise
7. Thou shalt not fold
8. Thou shalt not pay the rent before depositing
9. Thou shalt not play blackjack
10. Thou shalt not quit, ever

He who drinks beer sleeps well.
He who sleeps well cannot sin.
He who does not sin goes to Heaven.

gabe

11-05-2005, 03:42 PM

#22 (permalink)

Moderator

Join Date: Dec 2004

Location: trying to live

Posts: 7,964

gabe is an unknown quantity at this point

fold when you know you are beat
make the most from your good hands
play within your roll
consider position
not stay at a tough table
not let ego ever be involved
not be superstitious

elanto

11-05-2005, 03:43 PM

#23 (permalink)

Full House

Join Date: Oct 2004

Posts: 1,117

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmackinYaUp

AMEN!!!

a500lbgorilla

11-05-2005, 03:45 PM

#24 (permalink)

JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: This room is a good place to be

Posts: 8,379

Thou shalt not dirty the lord's forum with poker content filth!

-'rilla

Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.

Molinero

11-06-2005, 06:33 AM

#25 (permalink)

Straight

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: In The General Vicinity of Dallas

Posts: 230

1. I am Pocket Aces, the best hand in poker. Thou shalt not have any favorite hands but me.

2. Thou shalt not limp with trash.

3. Remember the pot odds, and adhere to them wholly.

4. Thou shalt not donk away thy stack.

5. Honor thy Rock and thy Calling Station.

6. Thou shalt not double up the small stack.

7. Thou shalt not straddle.

8. Thou shalt not tap the glass.

9. Thou shalt not draw to inside straights.

10.Thou shalt not play beyond thy means.

"We thought you was a toad!"
-- O Brother Where Art Thou?

cryptyk

11-07-2005, 05:54 PM

#26 (permalink)

Join Date: Oct 2005

Posts: 29

1) Thou shalt realize that looking back 6 months on your game, you will think that you sucked then.
1a) Thou shalt realize that 6 months from now you will look back to today and think that you suck now.
2) Thou shalt not tap on the Aquarium.
3) Thou shalt understand stdvar and play within thy bankroll.
4) Thou shalt not think in short terms of both wins and losses.
5) Thou shalt not chase inside straights or sets until thou understandest pot, implied and reverse implied odds.
6) Thou shalt purchase and consume as many poker books, good and bad, as are available. The first of these purchases should be The Theory of Poker
7) Thou shalt track thy play with unbiased software to see how you REALLY play.
8) Thou shalt not let the fishes keep their money.
9) Thou shall stay in a good game as long as the game is good, regardless of how much you have lost.
10) Thou shall leave a bad game as soon as possible, regardless of how much you've won.

saxdaddy

11-07-2005, 06:12 PM

#27 (permalink)

Join Date: Sep 2005

Posts: 37

My own version of the LP:

Our Father, who art the Dealer,
Holywood be thy name.
Thy Straight Flush come.
Thy bad beats be done,
On Pokerstars as it is in Party Poker.
Give us this day our daily buy-in.
And forgive us our bluffs,
As we forgive those who bullshit against us.
Lead us not into All-ins with TPTK,
But deliver us from shitty beats on the river.
For thine is the Double Up,
And the Final Table,
And the “Congradulations, you have won the Tournament”,
For ever and ever.
Amen

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label

joshuadzl

11-07-2005, 06:34 PM

#28 (permalink)

Flush

Join Date: Nov 2005

Location: Seattle, Wa

Posts: 287

Shall not play drunk or high, BAD TIMES!

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