|
sarbox68
|
06-04-2009, 05:24 AM
Post subject: What I learned from you insulting me
|
#1 (permalink)
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: wondering where the 3 extra chairs at my 6max table came from
Posts: 871
|
|
So it’s very unlikely you going to get deep analytical poker sh!t from me. Part the reason is I’m just not that deep. The other is I’m not that good. But I do like to sit back and think at a metaphorical level – learn some lessons in the broader contextual positioning.
And this post is gonna be one of those. I’ll leave the mad maths to Spoon or the lightening fast assessments to Spenda, the “keep-your-ass-grounded-in-solid ABC” to Jyms, the thoughtful and complete (not to mention grammatically impeccable…) helpfulness from Staxx, the soul reads to Fnord and all those other dudes in the limits that’s way above my pay grade, and of course, both the tranny pix and the ever-present willingness to contribute helpfulness to IOPQ (wtf is an IOPQ anyhow?... I do not know…)
I can bring some broader lessons. Shit that reminds of the basics that will prolly only have value to first-visit newbies. But sh!t I remind myself of daily.
Sh!t that I learned from insults in the chat box.
Everybody’s different. And I’ve come to conclusion that these gems are just other players trying to help me. Remind me of what I should be thinking of. Wishing me to be better.
So I’m not going to bogart all this generosity. I’m gonna share it with you so you too can benefit from these peoples copious beneficence.
1. “Asshat”
I just got this one. And I thank stumpbucket for helping me think about two pair. Thinking about the ass and the hat is a powerful combination. A ying and yang of anatomical geography. But it’s vulnerable – especially when someone kick you in the nuts.
I mentioned in another BC post that I’d torn my two pair hands apart. Two pair sounds super dope, and I was stacking off 6 ways to Tuesday, virtually on auto-pilot. What I discovered however is that, even disregarding boards, they fall into 3 categories – a) Top Two… which I win most big pots and pretty consistently, b) Top / Bottom… the true “asshat” of the two pair family, and definitely more vulnerable, and c) Bottom two… more vulnerable in big pot situations than I would’ve thought, and over the sample (500k hands…) break-even or running at a loss.
“Asshat” is his way of telling me to be strategic about my two pair hands.
2. “You’re gay”
This seems like a simple statement. It also means his assumption is incorrect. He’s looked at my play, evaluated my stats, reviewed my hand histories and drawn the conclusion that I’m gay. Prolly even put it in one of those note thingies in Full Tilt. And now he’s gonna look at every line I take through the filter of gayness.
But I’m not gay. Maybe when I took my wife to “Stomp” that sh!t seemed gay. But his conclusion is off. Problem is, now he’s labeled me, he may not be paying as close attention to specific actions… to the sh!t I do now… my adjustments. He just goes straight on with his anti-gay lines and wonders why he spewing chips.
“You’re gay” is his way of telling me to remember that generalizations are only that, and are no excuse for not paying close attention to the here and now.
3. “OK WHY DON’T I JUST GIVE YOU MOBNIES FOR YOUR MORTAGE AND PRESPTION DRUGS TOO”
Okay… I don’t know wtf this dude was saying, but I’m pretty convinced there’s no lesson here.
4. “donkey ass b!tch”
I’m pretty sure words one and two are redundant. But this dude’s telling me about the dangers of putting my think on your action. He’s saying “I see what you did and if I did that I would consider myself a donkey ass b!tch so you must be if you did that.”
I imprint my lines on other people’s actions all the time. His range is xxx… Why the f-ck his range gotta be xxx? Maybe he coming from a whole different perspective. Maybe he reading 2+2 and sh!t. Maybe he sucks. Or I suck. Maybe he’s gay.
Either way I gotta make the constant effort to look at villains play through their eyes, not mine. Otherwise, all I figure out is what I would have done if I had they cards. Which I don’t.
“donkey ass b!tch” is his way of reminding me to think about his line through his way of thinking.
5. “suck a bag of dicks”
This was a tough one at first. I mean, dicks don’t come in a bag. And if they did, is he telling me to suck them all at once, or like one at a time, or what?
Then it hit me. This dudes reminding me of ranges. There ain’t just one dick in the bag. So I can’t say he’s got x, or even he’s got x or y or z. In actual fact, there’s prolly more dicks in the bag than you think, cause there’s always some limp sh!t hiding down at the bottom.
This plays off the “donkey ass b!tch” theorem nicely… and I think both of them actually came from the same dude. I has to remind myself to not put people on hands, to remember it’s a whole bag or a range, and that it’s not about my range, but their range.
“suck a bag of dicks” is his way of reminding to never put people on hands and always think about ranges.
So that’s all I got right now. I’m sure you all got some other great lessons people be schooling you about through the chat. So go to options and make sure your “player chat” turned on. Then take some notes ‘cause people dropping some straight up golden knowledge. 
|
|
|
Play for FREE and practice your game at...
Join the FTR Poker Forum to disable these banners and start posting!
|
|
|
|
|
|
put this in the beginner's digest NAO
|
|
|
|
JKDS
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
|
|
POTY?
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
|
|
|
Kijjo
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 554
|
|
It's 2AM while I'm reading this and either I'm really really tired or that was hilarious or both.
|
|
Donk Skills:
#1 The bluff call
#2 The Drawing-Dead Value Bet
__________________________________________________ _____________
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
Maximus Decimus Meridius - Gladiator
|
|
Warpe
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
|
|
|
|
|
|
settecba
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: stealing blinds from UTG
Posts: 326
|
|
NICE
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by ISF
Getting good at poker is like that scene in the matrix where Neo suddenly sees that everyone is just a bunch of structured numbers and then he starts bending those numbers in really weird ways.
|
|
|
caddie444
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: constantly UTG
Posts: 723
|
|
NH
I now think differently about hand ranges
|
Don't complain; Just work harder - Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)
|
|
kmind
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Not Giving In
Posts: 4,240
|
|
Very impressive!
|
|
|
|
revolvingiris
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,139
|
|
sarbox>Mike Caro
|
|
|
|
ColdDecked
|
|
Straight
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 217
|
|
LOL
Imagine teaching poker to a newbie and when you start teaching him to put people of ranges, and you say, "Ranges are like a bag of dicks..."
|
|
|
|
Qminator
|
|
3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Antwerp, Belgium
Posts: 72
|
|
nice one to begin my pokerday
|
|
|
|
|
|
06-04-2009, 07:35 PM
Post subject: Re: What I learned from you insulting me
|
#12 (permalink)
|
|
|
|
Funny stuff,I read it 3 times, laughed all 3.I like the guy that is short stacked at the table and tries to tel a chipped up player how to play his hand.You just know he's tilting.Chat is a good tell on certain players and any exrta info is info none the less even if it's "hey I'm a homo-phobe."Note him up and thank god he's dumb.
|
|
|
|
Poker Orifice
|
|
Flush
Join Date: May 2008
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 324
|
|
Ha ha ha... awesome! (and helpful!!).
I particularly liked 'donkey ass b!tch'
Either way I gotta make the constant effort to look at villains play through their eyes, not mine. Otherwise, all I figure out is what I would have done if I had they cards. Which I don’t.
“donkey ass b!tch” is his way of reminding me to think about his line through his way of thinking
I think I'm going to keep this one on a sticky note pasted to my puter screen.
Anyone playing in those MSOP Satellites?... holy f'n 'donkey ass b!tch!"
|
|
"SEIBORG"
|
|
Poker Orifice
|
|
Flush
Join Date: May 2008
Location: B.C. Canada
Posts: 324
|
|
I nominate for 'Sticky Section'
|
|
"SEIBORG"
|
|
Robb
|
|
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,072
|
|
nh, sarbox.
I like the cooler hand where I get stacked and villain says, "I'm due," reminding me of the fact that poker = variance, and that he doesn't understand what the long term is when it comes to poker.
|
|
|
|
xpaand
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 289
|
|
Dude that was one of the best posts I've ever read haha. That's awesome.
|
OP: Beginner to Master
If I bet as a bluff, I should be thinking "am I getting better hands to fold? Is it likely that he will fold x% of the time to a y sized bet to make it +EV?". If I bet for value, I should be thinking "am I getting worst hands to call? Am I ahead of enough of his range that this is a good value bet?".
|
|
Micro2Macro
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: http://three-pair.com/
Posts: 4,463
|
|
epic
|
"Once we reach a certain level of mastery, we see there are higher levels and challenges. If we are disciplined and patient, we proceed. At each higher level, new pleasures and insights await us--ones not even suspected when we started out. We can take this as far as we want--in any human activity there is always a higher level to which we can aspire."
Check out my blog here!
"You are a degenerate Gaam-balur"
http://www.philgalfond.com/lets-make-some-changes/
|
|
tpb221
|
|
3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 69
|
|
Great post. That is one heck of a way to look at chat. Just turn mine on. Don't want to miss all the knowledge.
|
|
|
|
AnTman_69
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 463
|
|
hah lol. yo funny. I am now a smarter and wiser dude after reading this.
|
|
|
|
TonyB73
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 414
|
|
very, very nice
|
|
|
|
helpme2win$
|
|
Two Pair
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 42
|
|
just logged on and this was the first post read for today lmao.
most of the time its pretty serious posting goin on .
|
|
|
|
FateAver
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pokerstars
Posts: 37
|
|
LOL , this is very funny to read
thx 
|
|
|
|
Vex444
|
|
High Card
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
|
Interesting observation. Never thought of of these phrases in this context. So what would" Your a Gay donkeyass bitch that sucks a bag of dicks" be saying?
|
|
|
|
keepitstrict
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 54
|
|
Loved every sarcastic bit of this. *Claps*
Hilarious.
|
|
|
|
tbdbitl
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 12
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Kijjo
It's 2AM while I'm reading this and either I'm really really tired or that was hilarious or both.
|
Yes indeed, funny as hell. I doubt that it had anything to do with you being tired--but that may have affected how long and hard you were laughing!
I too sit and see things in chat that really make me scratch my head. I don't think I've ever done this extentensive analysis.
|
|
|
|
Steve_Jones
|
|
High Card
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 3
|
|
I had a good laugh! Thanks man. "You are gay" is my favorite.
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
This is the best fucking post ever and I'm serious much <3 sarbox
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
|
|
|
sarbox68
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: wondering where the 3 extra chairs at my 6max table came from
Posts: 871
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
This is the best fucking post ever and I'm serious much <3 sarbox
|
That means a lot bro  Great to hear from you again! The BC just hasn't been the same.....
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by sarbox68
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
This is the best fucking post ever and I'm serious much <3 sarbox
|
That means a lot bro Great to hear from you again! The BC just hasn't been the same..... |
yeah because spenda is too busy kicking people into fucking holes and stax is too busy fucking farm animals to regulate these streets the right way gotta let them hoes know who's boss you know what i'm saying never treat them bitches better than you do the money they bring in aight
church
|
|
|
|
Stacks
|
|
4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
Posts: 2,605
|
|
There is no spoon!
|
|
|
|
spoonitnow
|
|
Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by XxStacksxX
There is no spoon!
|
probably won't be after y'all ban a nigga for preachign the truth up in this bitch
|
|
|
|
PlayToWin
|
|
Full House
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 606
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
stax is too busy fucking farm animals...
|
Maybe, but stacks gets the Grade-A prime. Props to Stax for most excellent BC mod.
|
|
Explain...what I do for a living without saying "I make monies in da 600 enels by pwnin' tha donk bitches". Instead I say "I'm a online financial redistribution broker". - Sasquach991
|
|
RoyalProdigy
|
|
Straight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 178
|
|
that suck a bag of dicks shit was so funny bro. omg lol that had me rollin man. hahhahahhahaha
|
|
Stack That Arab Money!!!
|
|
kb coolman
|
|
Flush
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 596
|
|
So I come back to lurk the BC to find this post AND Spoon is back. I love life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by spoonitnow
yeah because spenda is too busy kicking people into fucking holes and stax is too busy fucking farm animals to regulate these streets the right way gotta let them hoes know who's boss you know what i'm saying never treat them bitches better than you do the money they bring in aight
|
chea boiiiii
|
|
|
English
Deutsch
Español
Français
Italiano
Nederlands
Pусский
Svenska
05-26-2012, 03:08 PM Australia Legalized Online Poker coming up in next 6 to 12 Months
Linear Mode
