Full House
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Under a bridge
Posts: 1,367
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Another break even week.
Good news: I am putting poeple on ranges nearly ever hand
Bad news: I am making tons of Hey I know this guy has a set in this spot. Then i call and well he has set.
The previous two weeks I was surprised when villains showed up with very strong parts of their range. Now I know what they are showing up with. I guess that's progress. I no one follows fail operations, but I am not giving up and those of little faith can go F yourself. Well, I am just kidding no one wants to see a person break even like this week after week, when he was doing well before. Not only am I failing but I am failing in a very basic way.
My game is going through changes. My c bet has recovered from 35% to something more decent. Besides the losses of TPTK vs set and Over Pair vs set, my leaks have been playing overly aggressive in 3 bet pots. And lastly I over play drawing hands. I need to keep reminding myself that a fold equity is a must and many poeple don't drop there over pairs and two, there really isn't any reason to play them this aggressively.
In general I am in life fail, but i have tons of experience with this. I know my personalty, what amazes me most is that not only have I not said fuck it lets play some 1,000NL, but i really have no desire to do that. I want to slowly get over my issues and move up. Part of it is perspective that I am comfortable with making poker my hobby for life. As such, I need to develop good habits and if it takes me some time to get over these issues so be it. I have one strength that sets me above most poker players. It is my bankroll management.
I have also had some thoughts and realized that when i was employed I was getting so pissed that so much of my time was spent at work. I realize now after the experience of one year of freedom is that a lot of life is perspective. One of the most important things that I need to get out of poker and this is the my way of looking at failure is so wrong.
As a youth a lot of things came easy to me, because I am "smart". I was told by teachers how smart I was, when I got good grades it was nearly always because of my intelligence. Sadly, I am smart but not brilliant it has been hard to accept this. But I have at least for the last two years.
What does this mean for me? Means just like 99% of poeple, if I want to succeed I need to work hard consistently. The first step is realizing that working hard is NOT in itself failure, as I used to think.
Working out has helped with this. My weight and physical appearance was a foreshadowing of my intelligence, which while in high school, I was a swimmer and could eat anything I wanted and due to having rigorous work outs i was always in great shape.
All of this means is I am a lazy slob, with disillusion of grandeur. First step is realizing this. Realizing that I am wasting some of my gifts because, i have a strong aversion to hard work. This personality trait has hurt me in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways all my life.
My life will pass me by no matter what I do. Life when looking back at it is always just a sequence of pleasant/unpleasant memories. The daily grind is not remember. In another words whether you are working your butt of working out sleeping 6 hours a day and giving it your all or just half assing everything and watching tv to pass the time, you will look back at it all the same. THE Difference, is that working hard should allow one to have more pleasant experiences in their life. Like vacations to exotic places. greater achievements in the work place and family life.
When I was younger 21ish I said "I am miserable, I might as well be rich" so i worked hard at my job. in the last 2 years I have been very happy and have no great desire for fortune. But the key is that I do not remember the daily misery just like I do not remember the daily happiness of my comfortable life. It is as though it never happened, I do remember going on vacations, the occasional great night out with friends. a friends wedding or the passing of someone close to you.
I need to internalize the concept of hard work and just do it. I know how to lose weight and get my body fat down to 8%. Exercise isn't enough, a well balanced meal plan, that excludes consuming McDonald's 2x a week.
I am surprised that I enjoy writing this. Even though I know for fact this will be fuel for some here to make fun of me in private. Accepting my faults in such a public manner is helpful to me.
I will work hard. One day I will beat 25nl. It may be next week or next year. But I will do it.
I will drop my body fat to 8% and eat a well balanced diet that will provide me with a lengthy life.
I will not stress about the difficulties of life and just take them as they come.
As some great man once said "success is doing the best you can". I hope to one day succeed.
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