Full House
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 940
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1. People who are so busy eating or talking to someone behind the table or listening to their ipods that they constantly need to be reminded that it is their turn to act.
2. Slowrollers who turn their cards over one at a time when they have won the hand, and only after waiting for 30 seconds.
3. Slow muckers who sit there staring at their cards for 2 minutes after losing a showdown, flicking their fingers at them, etc., as if anything will change them into cards that will beat the nut flush that the other guy turned over.
4. People who exploit the loopholes in the rules against string bets by, for instance, holding a big stack of chips, dropping them into neat piles past the white line, all the while looking around for tells and then dropping additional money into the pot or not.
5. People who, without having been asked, volunteer "information" about their hand to the person making the decision as to whether to bet. "If you'll bet, I'll call." "Can you beat two pair?" Etc. If you are asked for information, it's fair game and you can say whatever you want, no matter how deceptive, but if you aren't asked, shut up.
6. People who throw their call or raise in out of turn before I have acted.
7. People who splash the pot. The other day, I saw a player really get screwed by this (though it was partly his fault, because he wasn't paying attention because he was ordering food). He had bet, one player raised and splashed the pot, another player called and it came back to him. Dealer sees he is distracted and says "three more" (i.e., three more chips, or $9 more to make it $18). The player thought the dealer said "three bets", and also saw 9 chips (which would be the amount of a 3 bet) in front of the player who had called the raise. In fact, those 9 chips included 3 of the chips that had splashed over from the raiser's bet and which the dealer didn't bother to move back in front of the guy who had bet them. Long story short, the player thought it was a 3 bet pot and folded A8 offsuit after showing it to me (I was out of the hand). After folding, he saw that it was only 2 bets and got pissed. Flop was AQ8 and turn was an 8. Then he was more pissed.
8. People who blame the dealer for their bad beats, or especially for beats that were partially or wholly the result of bad play.
9. Players who are obsessed with the jackpot and constantly talking about it hand after hand.
10. Players who won't chop the blinds. A special place in hell is reserved for players who don't chop the blinds and then get mad when someone else refuses to chop the blinds with them.
11. Players who are constantly and carefully selecting the exact amount of a minimum raise of chips to play with and stack and restack at the table, thereby trying to convince the rest of the table that they are contemplating a raise, but who know nothing about actual poker strategy.
12. Players who are called and try to avoid showing their lousy hand ("flush good! two pair? jack?"), even when the caller is insisting that they just table their hand and within his or her rights to do so.
13. Players who get mad whenever someone raises pre-flop when they are in the big blind, even if the raiser has pocket aces. Like you have a constitutional right to play your 52 offsuit for free!
Anyone have any others?
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