Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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I feel like I'm updating too often. After this one I promise to slow down.
I just had a big chat to Jyms on msn about stuff (well, after talking went to the gym and then showered). I basically feel like I'm having a lot of the same problems he is, just not on the same scale. I know he's been working hard at it, so thought he might have some advice/thoughts. During the chat I realised a bunch of things I thought I'd note down.
Yes my emotions are causing problems, but somethings causing those emotions. I didnt have the problems before this year, so why now? I think:
a) I'm suffering from a feeling of entitlement. I feel I'm so much better than most of my opponents that I take it personally when I lose. I'm entitled to win so therefore I go on tilt trying to win it back.
b) I think I'm suffering from a feeling of desperation. Even though I havnt put timelines on myself, I just feel like if I dont start reaching my monetary goals soon (regular withdrawals) that I'm just wasting my time. Every time I lose a big pot or have a bad session it feels like I'm that much further away from my goals and therefore its that much more likely that I'm just wasting time. In my mind a break even month is as good as failure. Heck, a not very profitable month is.
Those are the main reasons I'm getting so emotionally affected by poker at the moment I think. Its not even that rational. I've already made a decent withdrawal paying back poker and buying my first item. When I get emotionally affected I lose more which puts me even further away from my goals.
One thing we discussed, is how if you keep doing the same thing, you keep getting the same results. Well what I've been doing has gotten me to the 50/100nl type level, but its not showing signs of moving me past there. I need to look at whats required to be a winning 400nl player and do it.
At some point poker moved from being a fun pastime that hopefully would earn a little money, to being part of my financial plan. If I'm going to be serious about it (not fulltime, but serious), then I need to treat it so. I need to come up with a plan to improve and gain the understanding of poker thats required to beat it at the levels I want to beat it at, and then implement it.
I think for me personally, this means planning it into my life. Rather than squeezing it in when I feel like a break or have some spare time, it has to become part of my day like work, workouts, meals, family time, etc. Not just playing, in fact probably more importantly, the study side of it. The flip side of this is I need to let it go when its not poker time. Devote plenty of my time to the rest of my life so it doesnt overwhelm me and I burn out. I'm going to try to cut down on how much time I spend on FTR, study more, and work on my game in a structured way.
Some planning still required there, but actually studying instead of watching (or not watching) videos will be a part of it.
Some interesting notes:
- There were times last month I felt I couldnt concentrate enough to watch a video so played poker instead (WTF!)
- I've never once done a proper equity/range calculation.
- I've never played with ranges/equity in pokerstove beyond a specific hand.
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