Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 4
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That is one fine analysis of what it's like to go through the variance and the growing pains of playing poker, especially NLHE. I had to completely bottom out and go on ultra-tilt before I could even rationally get a hold of myself and stop the bleeding of my bankroll.
Phase XI: F&%! It...
I could not catch cards for what seemed like weeks and when I finally did I was getting beat while I was holding the second best hand over and over again. I did the worst thing and moved up into stakes, beyond my bankroll, to try to make up for my losses (and I knew better). Using blind aggression to muscle people out of pots with hands that are prone to be dominated. Thinking that UB was rigged. Thinking I was entitled to win because, "I was just a better player". Which deteriorated into an, "I don't give a sh!t attitude". I'll show you POKER GODS! DAMN YOU! Finally just willfully trying to blow my bankroll, which I succeded in losing a third of.
Pure Insanity and loss of rational.
I don't recommend this for anyone, but I seriously think I had to bottom out emotionally. I think I had to have my ego crushed so it would get toughened up for the long haul.
Since my meltdown I haven't had a starting hand drought quite as bad as the one that preceeded that incident, but I have had my confidence and resovle tested. I had the second best set 3 hands in a row! I just didn't let running into a better hand affect me like it had in the past. Experience and having a deeper understanding of the nature of the game dictated that, "This too shall pass."
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