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Posted: Thu, 19 May 2005, 12:06pm Post subject:
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Straight
Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Posts: 241
WPP: 86
Location: West Virginia
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| Zangief wrote: | | michael1123 wrote: | | The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks. |
Or ... if you have a BMW, you don't need to be hung like a horse to pick up chicks. |
sounds like he has a BMW  |
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Posted: Thu, 19 May 2005, 1:24pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 21 Dec 2004
Posts: 370
WPP: 100
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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| Jay67s wrote: | | Zangief wrote: | | michael1123 wrote: | | The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks. |
Or ... if you have a BMW, you don't need to be hung like a horse to pick up chicks. |
sounds like he has a BMW |
Ha! No, neither a BMW nor a horse dong. |
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Posted: Sun, 29 May 2005, 5:34pm Post subject: possibly the world's sickest joke - read at your own risk
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3-of-a-Kind
Joined: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 50
WPP: 164
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A gay man is at his lover's hospital bedside as he is passing away from AIDS. His lover's life ebbs from him and the gay man is distraught with grief. After a while a doctor approaches the gay man and asks as to what arrangements should be made for the body. The gay man turns to the doctor, his face contorted in agony and says "leave us alone! I'm taking him home with me". The doctor tries to reason with the gay man; there is paperwork to be filled out and the funeral home to be contacted, but the gay man is having none of it, "I'm taking him home!" he screamed again. The doctor tries once more to reason with him and said "You cannot take him home, be reasonable, what will you do with him if you take him home?"
The gay man replied "I'm taking him home, then I'm going to cut him up into small pieces, put him in a pot and make the hottest ever curry out of him"
The doctor horrified shouted "Why, why would you do a thing like that?"
The gay man said "I want to feel him dribbling out my ass one last time!"
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Posted: Sun, 29 May 2005, 5:40pm Post subject:
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Season II
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 1697
WPP: 68
Location: MI
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Black guy and mexican in a car...........whos driving?.......
...............the cops |
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Posted: Sun, 29 May 2005, 7:45pm Post subject:
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3-of-a-Kind
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 109
WPP: 91
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WOMENS RIGHTS.
Why did the French give America the statue of liberty?
They couldn't use it, it only had 1 arm raised. |
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Posted: Mon, 30 May 2005, 9:33am Post subject:
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3-of-a-Kind
Joined: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 50
WPP: 164
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ever seen a french army knife?
It has 2 functions: a corkscrew and a white flag... |
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Posted: Mon, 30 May 2005, 12:07pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 3601
WPP: 98
Location: Your place or my place
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What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?
A pilot you fucking racists. |
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Posted: Mon, 30 May 2005, 12:08pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 475
WPP: 95
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
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| euphoricism wrote: | What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?
A pilot you fucking racists. |
POTD
-Chris |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:11pm Post subject:
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OLD MAN RIVER
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 3562
WPP: 76
Location: Canuckistan
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:29pm Post subject:
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Full House
Joined: 21 Dec 2005
Posts: 858
WPP: 77
Location: Your loosing, lolololololololololol
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What do you get when you cross Elton John w/ a Rhinoceros?
I don't know, but keep it away from my ass! |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:34pm Post subject:
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HABITUAL LINE-STEPPER
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5253
WPP: 73
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bathtub???
You can't fuck a bathtub. |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:46pm Post subject:
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Full House
Joined: 21 Dec 2005
Posts: 858
WPP: 77
Location: Your loosing, lolololololololololol
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What do you call an elderly person who exposes their genitalia in public?
Madonna |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:48pm Post subject:
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Straight Flush
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 4220
WPP: 114
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
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What has 2 legs and bleeds??
Half of a dog. |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 4:55pm Post subject:
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OLD MAN RIVER
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 3562
WPP: 76
Location: Canuckistan
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When the big hand goes over the little hand....
....it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house. |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 5:16pm Post subject:
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Full House
Joined: 21 Dec 2005
Posts: 858
WPP: 77
Location: Your loosing, lolololololololololol
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What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little crackers. |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 5:20pm Post subject:
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Straight
Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
WPP: 101
Location: Las Vegas
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One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing
and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies,
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am. " |
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Posted: Tue, 15 Aug 2006, 5:25pm Post subject:
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Full House
Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Posts: 1340
WPP: 125
Location: Nest of Douchebags
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| TylerK wrote: | | bigred wrote: | | euphoricism wrote: | | You get it. |
What do I win? |
mmfhffhhhfhhmmhh!!! |
I laughed for a good 5 mintues after reading this. What ever happened to tylerK, he's funny. |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 4:19pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 455
WPP: 121
Location: Love me for a season
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| samsonite2100 wrote: | What do you get when you cross Elton John w/ a Rhinoceros?
I don't know, but keep it away from my ass! |
ZOL
ummm,
-why did the peanut go to the police
- he was a salted
eh? eh? tough crowd |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 7:12pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 3273
WPP: 106
Location: Not too busy singing, just monkeying around
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This was funnier last year (answers in white)
Why don't Indonesions take baths?
They can just wash up on the shore
Since this thread is alred bad:
What do you get when you skin a baby?
An erection
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
I don't know I was too busy masterbating |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 7:12pm Post subject:
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Straight
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 165
WPP: 68
Location: Boston
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What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach???
Sir, could you please move? You're in my son!! |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 8:59pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 580
WPP: 104
Location: trying to outdraw the nuts
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what is the best thing about a 7 year old girl?
flip her over and it is the same thing as a 7 year old boy |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 9:00pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 580
WPP: 104
Location: trying to outdraw the nuts
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what is better than that?
killing her |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 9:49pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 02 May 2006
Posts: 3727
WPP: 62
Location: looking for a coach
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whats better than fucking an 8 year old girl in the shower....
slicking her hair back so she looks 6. |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 9:51pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 02 May 2006
Posts: 3727
WPP: 62
Location: looking for a coach
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whats the difference between a truck load of dead babies, and a truck load of bowling balls.....
you can only unload 1 with a pitchfork |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 9:52pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 02 May 2006
Posts: 3727
WPP: 62
Location: looking for a coach
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i have a really good joke but it uses the "N" word. its not a really bad one, but i would have to get some approval to tell it.
i guess i could join 1 strikesville though |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 11:24pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 580
WPP: 104
Location: trying to outdraw the nuts
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after all the jokes in this thread, bodeist is asking for approval
you must have one bad ass joke
good luck in strike onesville |
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Posted: Wed, 16 Aug 2006, 11:41pm Post subject:
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One Pair
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 24
WPP: 79
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a catholic priest and a rabbi co-own an adoption agency, tragically the orphanage catches fire one day, "what should we do?" exclaimed the priest
"well we've got to get out of here, but our car only has room for 2 people"
"Well what about the children?" says the priest
"FUCK THE CHILDREN" the rabbi snapped
"Do we have time?" ......... |
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Posted: Thu, 17 Aug 2006, 12:43am Post subject:
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EAT BUGS
Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 7812
WPP: 51
Location: trying to live
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Posted: Thu, 17 Aug 2006, 4:34am Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 259
WPP: 178
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| A man is vacationing in Jamaica with his wife. He is taking a leak and this Rastaman notices that he has the letters WDY Tatooed on his penis, the Rasta had to ask him why, the vacationer replied "I got it for my wife, when I get an erection the tatoo reads WENDY". The next day the tourist is taking a leak and he sees the same rasta taking a leak and he notices that the rasta has the letters WDY tatooed on his penis now, he asks "Is your wife named Wendy too?", the rasta says proudly, "Nah mon, I got it for ya wife mon, when I get an erection it reads welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day!" |
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FTR11 at Carbon Poker: $50 Money-Added Tourney - Jan 11th
