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Posted: Mon, 02 Mar 2009, 3:31am Post subject:
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Straight
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Posts: 234
WPP: 77
Location: Stealing blinds from UTG
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This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first." So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch." |
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Posted: Mon, 02 Mar 2009, 5:49am Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 567
WPP: 84
Location: Birmingham, UK
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what is the difference between sand and menstrual blood??
i cant gargle sand. |
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Posted: Mon, 02 Mar 2009, 1:20pm Post subject:
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Almost as bad as that idiot heybude
Joined: 06 Aug 2006
Posts: 3068
WPP: 71
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| will641 wrote: | | women's rights. |
yes |
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Posted: Mon, 02 Mar 2009, 1:52pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Posts: 1553
WPP: 132
Location: Nest of Douchebags
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| sil693 wrote: | what is the difference between sand and menstrual blood??
i cant gargle sand. |
You could try...quitter |
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Posted: Tue, 19 May 2009, 4:07pm Post subject:
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Season VII
Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 2913
WPP: 105
Location: HotLanta
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not sure if I have posted this one yet, but wgaf if I have it is still funny.
The Black Bra
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, the other is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our partners by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you' and we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice and heels under a raincoat and the mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
Then I shared my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?" |
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Posted: Tue, 19 May 2009, 5:07pm Post subject:
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4-of-a-Kind
Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Posts: 1553
WPP: 132
Location: Nest of Douchebags
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| bigred wrote: | | sil693 wrote: | what is the difference between sand and menstrual blood??
i cant gargle sand. |
You could try...quitter |
Ever read your old posts and be reminded of how awesome you are? |
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Posted: Tue, 19 May 2009, 6:53pm Post subject:
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Flush
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 536
WPP: 129
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| Gator wears bras. I knew it. |
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Posted: Wed, 20 May 2009, 12:44am Post subject:
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Season VII
Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 2913
WPP: 105
Location: HotLanta
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| BennyLaRue wrote: | | Gator wears bras. I knew it. |
joke was told from my avatar's perspective {acronym Renton hates} |
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Restricted FTR $200 Freeroll at FullTilt on November 23rd
