Let's Play a Game

Imagine that you are an entrepreneur, and you have visions of starting your very own B&M Poker room for locals to play at. You buy the tables, the cards, chips, and create a nice relaxing environment to play poker in.

Now, all you have to do is get some players. So you tell all your friends, to tell their friends, and so on. IN addition, you offer new players some free drinks or food to keep everyone happy. You also offer a cheap rake to further entice business.

Before you know it, you’ve acquired yourself a small player base, and more people are coming to your room every day. Everything seems to be going well, and people are joining left and right...

However, sometime down the line, you start noticing something you didn’t plan on happening. Your tournaments are lasting too long (most players only are able to play 1 game in a session)… That means you only get to rake 1 tournament per night, which isn’t a whole lot of money. And When players bust out, they either A) leave or B) join your ring game you have going.

But, here’s the problem with your ring game. There are a couple of Sharks in it, who routinely destroy the fish who sit with them. It’s to the point now where you are barely making anything from the rake before they take out the fish, thus leaving a dry stale game going until one shark eventually takes another sharks roll (which has happened already).

So what do you do? Increase the rake? You tried that but people started avoiding your games like the plague... They might as well go play at a casino if you are going to rake them just as much… If you don’t think of something soon, your dream of having your very own profitable poker room will be gone.

You have to find a way to speed up your tournaments and keep the weaker players in the cash games, all while trying to maintain a low comfortable rake for the players.

So how do we do this? First and legally we speed up the tournament and make it a “turbo” tourney. We make the blinds go up every 3-5 minutes or 10 hands or whatever makes the game as fast as possible. This will ensure us many more tournaments per night, thus shooting up our rake.

The turbo tourneys seem to work great in bars, why not my game? I mean, if you just had 1 tourney in a bar, you'd leave as soon as you busted out... There'd be no reason to stay.. But if there was another tourney later, then "ORDER ME ANOTHER BEER" Bitches and grab those chicken wings!!! IM staying awhile... I want people to stay in my Poker room, just like the bartenders want you to stay in bar games after you bust out...

But what if the players don’t want to play in a turbo SNG?

This leads us in another direction. What is the only logical way we can host more than 1 tournament per night (that isn’t a turbo), AND at the same time, keep our cash games alive as well?

Manipulate the Deck! BRILLIANT!!! And while we are at it, hire/become a SHILL... BRILLIANT!

In cash games, well rig it to keep all the worse players in the game for awhile and keep a steady rake flowing… We just can’t let those sharks come into our poker room and take all that free money… Naw buddy, we want dibbs on that cash too… IF it wasn’t for us, those sharks wouldn't have a place to wipe up those fish…

And just because we can, when you do bust that fish, after a long grueling raked out process… We’ll take some of that money from you too, just because we can… But we won’t rob you; you’ll still come out ahead--> in the LONG RUN.

For the tournaments, we’ll simply just let them play for awhile until we set up some hands to get it over with faster. I mean, what’s the point of letting one large stack grind out a couple small stacks for 2 hours when we already know he’s going to crush them eventually… Might as well get it done and over with faster, and start a whole new tournament...

What genius ideas! Now your poker room is BOOMING like never before. The sharks are happy (kinda), the fish are definitely happy…. And the degenerate gamblers, well who cares if they are happy, they are losers who will keep coming back regardless if they win or lose…. Wow, I can smell the money just talking about this….

People, this is just a small scale version of what EVERY online poker site’s grand scheme is. Until we all realize how this business works, and quit lying to ourselves, it will not change.

Just because you win, doesn’t change or mean anything. People have to win to give the impression no funny business is going, and unfortunately people have to lose. Don’t think for one second these sites aren’t trying to get *ALL of your money. They aren’t your friends, and they really don’t give a damn about you, just as long as you keep coming back.

Just keep this in mind next time you play online poker. And this doesn’t even go into detail about “collusion” that could be going on between other players not working for the house….

So what's the game? If that's all, it wasn't very fun.

file this under "R" for Retarded.

two words: statistical analysis. If there was even a 1% advantage for weaker players, it would be immediately noticeable.

and if you want to make an argument about sequential rigging, like if weaker players slowly accumulated money because hands were rigged in their advantage, and then they lost a huge pot because THAT was rigged in another player's advantage, thereby "evening out the rigging"... or any other devious scheme ... then i gotta say, so what? I make money playing online poker, just like the vast majority of members of this forum. Our strategies work.

If your brilliant deductive analysis of poker site's incentives/intentions leads you to believe that online poker is rigged, then go play solitaire or something. At least that way you won't have to subject anyone to tiresome arguments about nefarious international corporations that ultimately don't amount to shit, even if true.

I found a quote for your sig Warpe:

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

So I started reading this post and I had high hopes. I can honestly say I was excited. Wheeeeeee we get to use our problem solving skills and help the card room entrepreneur make profit!

After I realized the intention of the post, I cried.

wow.

I'm going to leave this unlocked.

my card room would have dogfish head 90-minute ipa on draft and fresh kems whenever you wanted.

and kiera knightley would deal the 2/4 game.

we wouldn't tolerate cheating.

i think this accurately summarizes my feelings about this thread

Is this guy related to the on in your avatar?

this may be the greatest thread ever

I will never play online poker again. Thank you for saving me.

Sheer genius!

Where do you think I should dig my bombshelter? Under the house, or would the backyard be acceptable.

BTW, guys, I'm selling foil hats on EBay.

AAAAWWWWWWWWW
you got your AA cracked and now they are rigging it all. HAVE A FUCKING CLUE!!!!!

Everything seems so clear now. I guess I will have to quit playing online poker.

...or "How to Say Online Poker is Rigged in 1500 words"

Rolling Eyes

Um.

Hands can be played so fast online, and there are so many players, that they would NEVER have the problem of only getting in 1 tournament per day.

Good try at an analogy, but a failure. Just like your poker career.

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